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Christian Pipe Smokers :: View topic - The Talk

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Hovannes
one lone Wollensak
one lone Wollensak


Joined: Oct 05, 2009
Posts: 14041
Location: In the fertile San Joaquin Valley

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

So the nieghbor lady is taking a nap when she wakes up and her son is taking a book out of her bedroom. She hears my 10 year old son in the bext room saying "Dosen't that hurt the lady?" Shocked
When her son returns the book she sees that its a sex manual. Shocked Shocked
She tells my bride and my bride tells me Junior Hov needs to hear "The Talk"
Now Junior Hov is well educated in animal husbandry, but that dosen't translate well into human sexuality, so Mrs Hov dissappears (how'd she do that? Confused ) leaving me and Junior Hov to have "The Talk."
I've all of 10 minutes to figure out what to say. Fortunately I have a bit of Theology of the Body & Aquinas under my laughable command, so we drive out to the university and stroll through the blossoming campus and discuss love, marriage, Biology and Thomist concepts of procreation and disordered good.
Then we got some ice cream at the University Farm Market and brought home a gallon of 2% milk.

I survived the ordeal Very Happy

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hogleg
Brother of the Briar
Brother of the Briar


Joined: Jan 09, 2011
Posts: 7187
Location: Here

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:13 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hovannes wrote:
So the nieghbor lady is taking a nap when she wakes up and her son is taking a book out of her bedroom. She hears my 10 year old son in the bext room saying "Dosen't that hurt the lady?" Shocked
When her son returns the book she sees that its a sex manual. Shocked Shocked
She tells my bride and my bride tells me Junior Hov needs to hear "The Talk"
Now Junior Hov is well educated in animal husbandry, but that dosen't translate well into human sexuality, so Mrs Hov dissappears (how'd she do that? Confused ) leaving me and Junior Hov to have "The Talk."
I've all of 10 minutes to figure out what to say. Fortunately I have a bit of Theology of the Body & Aquinas under my laughable command, so we drive out to the university and stroll through the blossoming campus and discuss love, marriage, Biology and Thomist concepts of procreation and disordered good.
Then we got some ice cream at the University Farm Market and brought home a gallon of 2% milk.

I survived the ordeal Very Happy



Good on you!

We had "the talk' with our kids several times from fairly early on in eaqch of their lives. Seemed easy and natural for us. Our oldest asked much and grasped very much earlier than most kids, but, then again, she was just born older too.

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HE put the sweet in a peach, the twang in a lemon, the chill in a
summer rain, and the warmth in the morning sun. HE made and HE sustains all
things.
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OldWorldSwine
rootle round the ear 'ole
rootle round the ear 'ole


Joined: Aug 02, 2009
Posts: 7555

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:44 pm Reply with quote Back to top

My son laughed - cracked up giggling, until he could hardly breathe - when i told him the mechanics of the whole enterprise. He actually refused to believe it when I told him how little girls were made.

Laughing

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"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
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Rusty
Minister of the Gideons
Minister of the Gideons


Joined: May 02, 2008
Posts: 17425
Location: Beelzebub's Rare Tobacco Emporium

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:09 pm Reply with quote Back to top

OldWorldSwine wrote:
My son laughed - cracked up giggling, until he could hardly breathe - when i told him the mechanics of the whole enterprise. He actually refused to believe it when I told him how little girls were made.

Laughing


Yeah, if they have sisters they almost immediately get suspicious when told about the "sugar and spice and all things nice". But I managed to make "Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails" sound glorious. In any case understanding the epistemological underpinnings of the Ciconiiformes Ciconiidae origins theory is a good backup.

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Adam was a sloth and a moron. ~ Del
Adam was a Hermaphrodite. ~ ElgarAlienPooh
We are insane. ~ Del
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sideache
Brother of the Briar
Brother of the Briar


Joined: May 25, 2011
Posts: 3198
Location: SoCal

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I haven't had the talk yet. Laughing

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FredS
Del Zed Sysiphus Shirk III
Del Zed Sysiphus Shirk III


Joined: Feb 22, 2009
Posts: 11348
Location: Kansas City

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:56 am Reply with quote Back to top

sideache wrote:
I haven't had the talk yet. Laughing
Meh. They have the internet.

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"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine
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hogleg
Brother of the Briar
Brother of the Briar


Joined: Jan 09, 2011
Posts: 7187
Location: Here

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

FredS wrote:
sideache wrote:
I haven't had the talk yet. Laughing
Meh. They have the internet.


NO! Then they'll get this --- It's Time for Women to Women Up. Twisted Evil

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HE put the sweet in a peach, the twang in a lemon, the chill in a
summer rain, and the warmth in the morning sun. HE made and HE sustains all
things.
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Jasonk
Brother of the Briar
Brother of the Briar


Joined: Nov 24, 2008
Posts: 362
Location: The Rodeo Capitol of Texas!!

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:07 am Reply with quote Back to top

My oldest is only 7, but we've already started The Process. I personally believe it should be an ongoing educational process as they grow and are mature enough to grasp certain concepts, rather than just a single Talk...but then again my oldest is only 7, so what do I know?

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adauria
Don't Need No Fancy Title
Don't Need No Fancy Title


Joined: Nov 08, 2003
Posts: 3534
Location: Wake Forest, NC

PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Jasonk wrote:
My oldest is only 7, but we've already started The Process. I personally believe it should be an ongoing educational process as they grow and are mature enough to grasp certain concepts, rather than just a single Talk...but then again my oldest is only 7, so what do I know?


Exactly what he said, even to the age of my older daughter.

When she first started asking, around age 5 I think, it went like this,

"Daddy, you said babies are made from love, but how? How can a baby be made from love exactly?"

"Do you really want to know? Because it's very, uh... weird. It might freak you out. Are you sure."

"Yes Daddy."

"OK, well.... [insert biological explanation of boy parts, girl parts, etc.]"

Daughter: Stunned silence.

Me: "It's weird, right?"

"Yes Daddy."

-Andrew
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