Christmas Party Stories

Where Fellowship and Camaraderie lives: that place where the CPS membership values fun and good fellowship as the cement of the community
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sweetandsour
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Christmas Party Stories

Post by sweetandsour » Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:15 am

So, one year I was invited with a good friend of mine to his younger brother's house. There was a couple of bottles there, and some cards, and next thing we knew there was some card games and a little drinking going on. Well, the younger brother got sick and threw up on the couch; and one of the brother-in-laws stumbled into the carefully-decorated-by-wife Christmas tree, knocked it over, pulled down a curtain and threw up on the wall. Of course my friend and I (fully sober) thought the whole episode was terribly funny, and as far as I know, we are still banned from that house. Sometimes I wonder if they are still married. She sure was good looking, though. Even if she did have a Yosemite Sam personality.
As thus we sat in darkness
Each one busy with his prayers,
"We are lost!" the captain shouted,
As he staggered down the stairs.

O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful. Psalm 31:23

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by JimVH » Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:34 am

Vomit is a popular feature in my funniest Christmas stories. Oddly, so are hot tubs.
"When God closes a door, just open it again. It's a door. That's how they work." FredS

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durangopipe
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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by durangopipe » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:12 am

We used to attend three back to back parties from work. One at the clinic my wife worked at before she became her own boss. One for the English dept. And the Duranglers shop guys and fishing guides’ party.

The first two were deadly dull. The Duranglers party is full of jokes, stories of the season just ended, gallons of beer and tequilla - one year, a young guide’s girlfriend almost knocked a ceiling fan to the floor while sensually dancing on top of the table. Sigh.

We open white elephant Christmas presents that always include a life-size female doll who reappears every year . . .

My favorite now often repeated story is the tale of the night Johnny Depp’s personal bodyguard was shamed by one of our guides arm wrestling in a bar in Creede.

The movie crew was there filming scenes for the Lone Ranger fiasco. We had a half dozen or so guides camping out over there guiding early season on the Rio Grande. As the story is told, the bodyguard was a big, burly, weight-lifting, loudmouth LA A-hole. The guide was our very own, soft-spoken, unbelievably accomplished, Spencer Schreiber, who has been rowing a dory 10 hours a day, a 150 or more days a year for years.

The bodyguard was quickly and soundly defeated and never showed his face in the bar again.

Spencer never tells the story. He lets another guide tell it. He just smiles and shrugs. Four or five others who were there add details.

Other stories inevitably involve missed pullouts, flipped boats and near-death experiences.

My wife and I don’t bother with any other Christmas parties anymore, but we wouldn’t miss the Duranglers Christmas party for anything.

This Christmas will mark 30 years!
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.

J.R.R. Tolkien



Wherever we go in the world we find other men speaking the same language...dreaming the same dreams. And one of the big four - brownie, or brookie, cutthroat or rainbow - is the cause of it all.

Roderick Haig-Brown

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by hugodrax » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:47 am

Oh, my. I can't share. I've tried to forget that guy existed (it was always me).
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by Sir Moose » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:18 am

I've been working here for more than 20 years. I have yet to attend the annual Christmas party. I see these people enough at work--I don't want to see them in my off-hours as well. Besides, I'm pretty certain that my wife would not have liked hanging around any of them before her medical issues arose. Now it would be excruciating for her in all sorts of ways.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by tuttle » Mon Dec 04, 2017 7:16 am

durangopipe wrote:
Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:12 am


Other stories inevitably involve missed pullouts




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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by hugodrax » Mon Dec 04, 2017 7:42 am

tuttle wrote:
Mon Dec 04, 2017 7:16 am
durangopipe wrote:
Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:12 am


Other stories inevitably involve missed pullouts




Image
















Image
Good news, Jester! I was wrong.
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by FredS » Mon Dec 04, 2017 6:09 pm

You haven't been to a Christmas party unless you've been to a company Christmas party in the South. For five years straddling the 80's-90's, I worked at a large manufacturing plant in South Carolina that was about 85% black. The company threw a party at one of the resorts in Myrtle Beach every year. Free booze and free rooms if you wanted. I've never seen people dressed finer than the black people at those parties. Yards and yards of snake-skin and patent leather, eleventy-billion sequins, felt hats with feathers in every color imaginable, all sorts of fur shawls and silk scarves, and fancy canes. Seriously, many of those guys were sporting canes as accesories. And the dancing - let me tell you, I've never seen line dancing done so well. Those ladies had it goin' on!

EDIT: And Christmas was Rudy's time to shine. Rudy worked in my shop and was one of the nicest guys in the world. I don't know if he came from money or not, but he had that thick drawl wealthy southerners have. He weighed probably 350lbs. He'd dress as a very convincing Santa for both the kids Christmas party the company threw and the adults party at the beach. After a few drinks, the ladies liked to sit on Rudy's lap and get their picture taken, and Rudy's face would turn as red as his coat.
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ReverendThom
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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by ReverendThom » Mon Dec 04, 2017 10:11 pm

hugodrax wrote:Oh, my. I can't share. I've tried to forget that guy existed (it was always me).
Yep.

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“I believe that many who find that "nothing happens" when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand.”

― C.S. Lewis, On the Incarnation

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by JesusClaus » Tue Dec 05, 2017 9:49 am

Who's been naughty this year?
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by Winton » Tue Dec 05, 2017 7:37 pm

Christmas part at work tomorrow from 11:30 - 2:00. Then we go back to work. We do get to wear ugly sweaters!

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ReverendThom
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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by ReverendThom » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:45 pm

I'm the MC at the company Christmas party this year. Do you know how stressful it is being the MC in front of a couple hundred broadcasters? Ugh

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“I believe that many who find that "nothing happens" when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand.”

― C.S. Lewis, On the Incarnation

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by Winton » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:19 pm

I won a gift basket at the office party. Too bad it was full of Spa Experience type of stuff. Lots of girly soaps and creams. My wife and daughter grabbed a few things. The rest were passed out to the women at work. I guess I got some good will out of it.

Wish it had been full of pipe tobacco.

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ReverendThom
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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by ReverendThom » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:52 pm

I survived

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“I believe that many who find that "nothing happens" when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand.”

― C.S. Lewis, On the Incarnation

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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by durangopipe » Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:36 am

Just back from the Duranglers Christmas party.
What a great group.

I’ve known some of these guys for over 30 years.
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.

J.R.R. Tolkien



Wherever we go in the world we find other men speaking the same language...dreaming the same dreams. And one of the big four - brownie, or brookie, cutthroat or rainbow - is the cause of it all.

Roderick Haig-Brown

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JimVH
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Re: Christmas Party Stories

Post by JimVH » Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:49 am

I went to party tonight. I looked pretty suavely in my courdaroy sport coat over a festive shirt and my girl was a bombshell in shiny silver stuff. We ate ribs, brisket, and homemade tamales, and I had a significant sampling of good bourbon (Four Roses Single Barrel, Willett Pot Still Reserve, and Belle Meade Single Barrel).

No one vomited or made an ass of themselves, though one person was sharing drunken I love you man hugs.
"When God closes a door, just open it again. It's a door. That's how they work." FredS

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