A Brief History of CPS Time

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Post by MacGuru » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:33 pm

UncleBob wrote:Comin' up on the end for the thread. There are but 20 phases in the brief history.
But what about the triple-platinum bound Collector's Edition Of The Century gritty reboot of this thread you promised us?
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Post by UncleBob » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:38 pm

MacGuru wrote:
UncleBob wrote:Comin' up on the end for the thread. There are but 20 phases in the brief history.
But what about the triple-platinum bound Collector's Edition Of The Century gritty reboot of this thread you promised us?
LOL! There is still the legendary "Lost Phase 12" to add to the triple-platnum bound Collector's Edition of The Century. :wink:
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by UncleBob » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:17 pm

Phase Eighteen: The Advent of Jocose

In the year that the king of deadpan AFRS joined CPS the mods saw also Jocose posting upon a thread, snarky and messed up, and his train of consciousness filled the forum.

Above it stood the mods: each one had six groans; with twain they moderated his humor, and with twain they moderated his theology comments, and with twain they did reach for bourbon.

And one mod cried unto another, and said, Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell, he makes some crazy-a$$ed posts: the whole board is full of his pathos.

And his posts of the day moved up the leader board and, at the typing of him, many BOOSHed, and these posts were seldom about pipe smoking.

Then said the mods, What the deuce! for we are undone; because we are men with full time jobs, and we moderate in the midst of people with full time jobs. Good Lord n' butter! What will we do if Kerdy's eyes see the posts of Jocose, the Lord of Cougars?

Then PM'd one of the moderators unto Zed, having some little time on his hands, which he had taken from off his cOB pipe.

And Zed placed the cOB within his mouth, and said, Lo, this cOB hath touched my lips; and mine pallet is taken away, and my taste purged.

Also Zed heard the voice of the mods, saying, Whom shall we send, and who will moderate Jocose for us? Then said Zed, Here am I; send me.

And the mods said, Go, and tell this Jocose, Post ye indeed, but instigate not; and BTW--chill the heck out.

Make the threads of this Jocose funny, and make them about pipes, and maybe let him call out A_Morley occasionally; lest his reckoning fall upon us.

Then said Zed, Hey mods, how long? And they answered, Until his posts be posted without GLOCKS, and the threads without snark, and the B.R.A.T.A.S.S. be utterly disbanded,

And the Jocose has publicly left at least twice and returned later, and there be little Pirating in the midst of his posts.

But yet in his posts shall there be orneriness, and he shall return to Jesus Juke often, and he shall be crusty: as a week-old pizza, and as an old codger, whose grouch is always in him, when Zed posts about cOBs: so the Jocose shall be the mocking thereof.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by MacGuru » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:15 pm

UncleBob wrote:Phase Eighteen: The Advent of Jocose

In the year that the king of deadpan AFRS joined CPS the mods saw also Jocose posting upon a thread, snarky and messed up, and his train of consciousness filled the forum.

Above it stood the mods: each one had six groans; with twain they moderated his humor, and with twain they moderated his theology comments, and with twain they did reach for bourbon.

And one mod cried unto another, and said, Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell, he makes some crazy-a$$ed posts: the whole board is full of his pathos.

And his posts of the day moved up the leader board and, at the typing of him, many BOOSHed, and these posts were seldom about pipe smoking.

Then said the mods, What the deuce! for we are undone; because we are men with full time jobs, and we moderate in the midst of people with full time jobs. Good Lord n' butter! What will we do if Kerdy's eyes see the posts of Jocose, the Lord of Cougars?

Then PM'd one of the moderators unto Zed, having some little time on his hands, which he had taken from off his cOB pipe.

And Zed placed the cOB within his mouth, and said, Lo, this cOB hath touched my lips; and mine pallet is taken away, and my taste purged.

Also Zed heard the voice of the mods, saying, Whom shall we send, and who will moderate Jocose for us? Then said Zed, Here am I; send me.

And the mods said, Go, and tell this Jocose, Post ye indeed, but instigate not; and BTW--chill the heck out.

Make the threads of this Jocose funny, and make them about pipes, and maybe let him call out A_Morley occasionally; lest his reckoning fall upon us.

Then said Zed, Hey mods, how long? And they answered, Until his posts be posted without GLOCKS, and the threads without snark, and the B.R.A.T.A.S.S. be utterly disbanded,

And the Jocose has publicly left at least twice and returned later, and there be little Pirating in the midst of his posts.

But yet in his posts shall there be orneriness, and he shall return to Jesus Juke often, and he shall be crusty: as a week-old pizza, and as an old codger, whose grouch is always in him, when Zed posts about cOBs: so the Jocose shall be the mocking thereof.
Selah.
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Post by Jocose » Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:58 am

UncleBob wrote:Phase Eighteen: The Advent of Jocose

In the year that the king of deadpan AFRS joined CPS the mods saw also Jocose posting upon a thread, snarky and messed up, and his train of consciousness filled the forum.

Above it stood the mods: each one had six groans; with twain they moderated his humor, and with twain they moderated his theology comments, and with twain they did reach for bourbon.

And one mod cried unto another, and said, Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell, he makes some crazy-a$$ed posts: the whole board is full of his pathos.

And his posts of the day moved up the leader board and, at the typing of him, many BOOSHed, and these posts were seldom about pipe smoking.

Then said the mods, What the deuce! for we are undone; because we are men with full time jobs, and we moderate in the midst of people with full time jobs. Good Lord n' butter! What will we do if Kerdy's eyes see the posts of Jocose, the Lord of Cougars?

Then PM'd one of the moderators unto Zed, having some little time on his hands, which he had taken from off his cOB pipe.

And Zed placed the cOB within his mouth, and said, Lo, this cOB hath touched my lips; and mine pallet is taken away, and my taste purged.

Also Zed heard the voice of the mods, saying, Whom shall we send, and who will moderate Jocose for us? Then said Zed, Here am I; send me.

And the mods said, Go, and tell this Jocose, Post ye indeed, but instigate not; and BTW--chill the heck out.

Make the threads of this Jocose funny, and make them about pipes, and maybe let him call out A_Morley occasionally; lest his reckoning fall upon us.

Then said Zed, Hey mods, how long? And they answered, Until his posts be posted without GLOCKS, and the threads without snark, and the B.R.A.T.A.S.S. be utterly disbanded,

And the Jocose has publicly left at least twice and returned later, and there be little Pirating in the midst of his posts.

But yet in his posts shall there be orneriness, and he shall return to Jesus Juke often, and he shall be crusty: as a week-old pizza, and as an old codger, whose grouch is always in him, when Zed posts about cOBs: so the Jocose shall be the mocking thereof.
+ G rated

AKA: approved for all audiences

No other comment at this time.

Carry on.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

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Post by UncleBob » Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:28 pm

Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by Jocose » Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:10 pm

UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Good job, way to kill a good thread UB!

Better start on phase 19, and quick!

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Post by FredS » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:31 am

I bet the book of Jocose is removed from the cannons during the 2020 Council of CPS.
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Post by UncleBob » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:57 am

FredS wrote:I bet the book of Jocose is removed from the cannons during the 2020 Council of CPS.
Cannons or canons? Yer right, cannons will be more appropriate.

Carry on.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by FredS » Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:42 am

UncleBob wrote:
FredS wrote:I bet the book of Jocose is removed from the cannons during the 2020 Council of CPS.
Cannons or canons? Yer right, cannons will be more appropriate.

Carry on.
Are you making fun of my gay pirate lisp? I got yer cannon right here pal.
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"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Post by AFRS » Wed Apr 02, 2014 2:47 pm

UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Meh.

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Post by MacGuru » Wed Apr 02, 2014 2:47 pm

AFRS wrote:
UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Meh.
Meh Meh Meh.
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Post by AFRS » Wed Apr 02, 2014 2:50 pm

MacGuru wrote:
AFRS wrote:
UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Meh.
Meh Meh Meh.
Meh. That is all.

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Post by UncleBob » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:26 pm

Phase 19 coming soon.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by John-Boy » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:26 pm

UncleBob wrote:Phase 19 coming soon.
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Post by OldWorldSwine » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:28 pm

UncleBob wrote:Phase 19 coming soon.
Tease.
"There's what's right and there's what's right and never the twain shall meet."

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Post by Roadmaster » Sat Apr 05, 2014 8:14 am

UncleBob wrote:
FredS wrote:I bet the book of Jocose is removed from the cannons during the 2020 Council of CPS.
Cannons or canons? Yer right, cannons will be more appropriate.

Carry on.
Fred wisely spent his youth at pool halls and working on cars instead of wasting his time doing school work..
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Post by UncleBob » Tue Apr 08, 2014 12:33 pm

AFRS wrote:
MacGuru wrote:
AFRS wrote:
UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Meh.
Meh Meh Meh.
Meh. That is all.
Piffle.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Post by AFRS » Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:55 pm

UncleBob wrote:
AFRS wrote:
MacGuru wrote:
AFRS wrote:
UncleBob wrote:Wow! I was expecting more critical commentary!
Meh.
Meh Meh Meh.
Meh. That is all.
Piffle.
I do not want your lovin' Uncle Bob I am.
Last edited by AFRS on Wed Apr 09, 2014 6:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by UncleBob » Wed Apr 09, 2014 6:10 pm

Phase Nineteen: Everybody Was Jesus Fighting

(To the tune of "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas)

"Jesus Fighting"

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

[Chorus:]
Everybody was Jesus Fighting
Those posts were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought over who was winning

There were grouchy Christian men from a Christian 'Baccy Board
They were tallying points up
They were tearing others down
It's an ancient Christian art
And everybody knew their part
From a ranting, to a snark
And a mockin' of Noah's Ark

Everybody was Jesus Fighting
Those posts were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought over who was winning

There were Golden Tacos won and Jolly Rogers flown
They said, here comes the RIGHTEOUS UMBRAGE, so let's get it on
They took the small and made it last
Started hashing over the past
Most any thread brought in Skip
Then they're onto a brand new trip

Everybody was Jesus Fighting
Those posts were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought over who was winning

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-ha

Keep on, keep on, keep on
Sure enough
Everybody was Jesus fighting
Those posts were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning
Make sure you know who was winning
Jesus fighting, had to post fast as lightning...

Fin
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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