How about a joke thread?

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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A_Morley
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by A_Morley » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:24 am

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by JimVH » Wed Jan 13, 2016 2:38 pm

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Lubbock theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s you re name?” “UncleBob,” the cowboy moaned. “Where ya from, UncleBob?” With pain in his voice UB replied…. “The balcony.”
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by UncleBob » Wed Jan 13, 2016 2:43 pm

JimVH wrote:The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Lubbock theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s you re name?” “UncleBob,” the cowboy moaned. “Where ya from, UncleBob?” With pain in his voice UB replied…. “The balcony.”
:chili:
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Irish-Dane » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:47 pm

UncleBob wrote:
JimVH wrote:The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Lubbock theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s you re name?” “UncleBob,” the cowboy moaned. “Where ya from, UncleBob?” With pain in his voice UB replied…. “The balcony.”
:chili:
Thread's over. Shut 'er down.
It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. --Colton

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by UncleBob » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:52 pm

Irish-Dane wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
JimVH wrote:The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Lubbock theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s you re name?” “UncleBob,” the cowboy moaned. “Where ya from, UncleBob?” With pain in his voice UB replied…. “The balcony.”
:chili:
Thread's over. Shut 'er down.
You can tell its fiction though. He wrote "posh Lubbock theatre". That's all you need to know, right there.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Sir Moose » Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:58 pm

Duplicate
Last edited by Sir Moose on Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Sir Moose » Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:59 pm

Did you read the book about constipation?

No? That's probably because it hasn't come out yet.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by LushMojo » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:45 am

Sexauer is an ordinary German name referring to one who came from Sexau, in Germany. Looking for a Mr. Sexauer, a man in Washington called at the Senate Interstate and Foreign Commerce Committee. Helping him, a girl employee called the Banking and Currency Committee by telephone to check, and inquired politely, ‘Do you have a Sexauer over there?’

‘Listen,’ the girl switchboard operator snapped, ‘We don’t even have a ten-minute coffee break anymore.’

— Elsdon C. Smith, Treasury of Name Lore, 1967

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by JimVH » Tue Feb 16, 2016 4:05 pm

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Sir Moose » Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:03 pm

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A: One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:06 pm

Knock knock
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by hugodrax » Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:29 pm

Jocose wrote:Knock knock

Bunch of cowards.

Wu's there?

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:05 am

Knock knock
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

I've crossed the Bosphorus.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Irish-Dane » Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:53 am

Jocose wrote:Knock knock
You didn't answer the last one.
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:49 am

Knock knock
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

I've crossed the Bosphorus.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:55 am

Jocose wrote:Knock knock
Who is there?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Wed Feb 17, 2016 6:22 pm

John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:Knock knock
Who is there?
Boo
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

I've crossed the Bosphorus.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Fri Feb 19, 2016 8:14 pm

Jocose wrote:
John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:Knock knock
Who is there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Fri Feb 19, 2016 11:54 pm

John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:
John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:Knock knock
Who is there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

I've crossed the Bosphorus.

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Sat Feb 20, 2016 3:12 pm

Jocose wrote:
John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:
John-Boy wrote:
Jocose wrote:Knock knock
Who is there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke.
:joy: More!
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG

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