Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Sir Moose » Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:36 pm

DepartedLight wrote:
Sir Moose wrote:
Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:08 pm
I am hoping that the USPS tracking on my order is wrong. Not because of the expected delivery date, but because of the potential for amazingly inefficient routing by the postal service.

According to the tracking, my package departed from a city about 130 miles south of me - close to Seattle. It's next check in was in Minnesota. I can't imagine that the most efficient way to travel 130 miles north was to start out by going almost 1700 miles east. I realize there are a few rivers to cross using the direct route, but as far as I know they all have bridges.
Sir Moose,

As a PSA. As a result of the 'Going Postal' phase in American history, the constitutionally protected United States Post Office, in an all hands on deck until we figure out how to stop our employees from killing all the other employees in the office, came up with WPPTS. Its been a phenomenal success. When was the last time you heard about a postal working 'going postal'?

The Worthless Parcel Post Tracking System is employed as a spot gap and emergency measure for any USPS employee. They simply dial into the system and manipulate packages at random until they laugh and no longer want to kill their office mates.

Suck it up, buttercup.
That explains a lot!


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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm

I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
As thus we sat in darkness
Each one busy with his prayers,
"We are lost!" the captain shouted,
As he staggered down the stairs.

O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful. Psalm 31:23

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by UncleBob » Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:29 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
Rebel Yell, perhaps?
As thus we sat in darkness
Each one busy with his prayers,
"We are lost!" the captain shouted,
As he staggered down the stairs.

O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful. Psalm 31:23

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by UncleBob » Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:39 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:29 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
Rebel Yell, perhaps?
Mmm... tasty...

I approve of this course of treatment.

:chili:
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by DepartedLight » Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:52 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:39 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:29 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
Rebel Yell, perhaps?
Mmm... tasty...

I approve of this course of treatment.

:chili:
Rebel Yell, perhaps? No. Hell no. Are you new here? UB? Yer encouraging this? I wag a disappointing index finger at you. If Sam Houston was alive today, we'd get to talk to him. But I digress.

In 1792 the great Common Wealth of Kentucky became an independent state. Kentucky allows Bourbon distilleries within the state to lawfully use the state name in their branding. As is the want of the great men that forged this great land, they did something great. They wrote The Code of Whiskey.

Spider bites are to be treated with either; Canadian or Irish whiskey only. The Code of Whiskey; 2.4. 1794. Donovan.

Besides, Rebel Yell is for 12 year olds.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Rusty » Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:05 pm

DepartedLight wrote:
Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:49 pm
Sir Moose wrote:
Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:08 pm
I am hoping that the USPS tracking on my order is wrong. Not because of the expected delivery date, but because of the potential for amazingly inefficient routing by the postal service.

According to the tracking, my package departed from a city about 130 miles south of me - close to Seattle. It's next check in was in Minnesota. I can't imagine that the most efficient way to travel 130 miles north was to start out by going almost 1700 miles east. I realize there are a few rivers to cross using the direct route, but as far as I know they all have bridges.
Sir Moose,

As a PSA. As a result of the 'Going Postal' phase in American history, the constitutionally protected United States Post Office, in an all hands on deck until we figure out how to stop our employees from killing all the other employees in the office, came up with WPPTS. Its been a phenomenal success. When was the last time you heard about a postal working 'going postal'?

The Worthless Parcel Post Tracking System is employed as a spot gap and emergency measure for any USPS employee. They simply dial into the system and manipulate packages at random until they laugh and no longer want to kill their office mates.

Suck it up, buttercup.
Image

Yep. I think they broadcast randomly, with your parcel, to 'discover' the route.
They're at their best with international parcels, say, to Canada. There is some evidence that USPS has a theory about the countries being organized alphabetically on the planet. So Canada begins with 'C' and that has to be close to Australia, right? They have routed parcels from Virginia through Australia to get to Canada. Another even closer guess (alphabetically) to Canada is Columbia, South America. Yes. They've done that too. And USPS's tracking will go silent on these funny parcel excursions. But Canada Post tracking does NOT go silent... it rats out USPS and snickers.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:24 pm

DepartedLight wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:52 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:39 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:29 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
Rebel Yell, perhaps?
Mmm... tasty...

I approve of this course of treatment.

:chili:
Rebel Yell, perhaps? No. Hell no. Are you new here? UB? Yer encouraging this? I wag a disappointing index finger at you. If Sam Houston was alive today, we'd get to talk to him. But I digress.

In 1792 the great Common Wealth of Kentucky became an independent state. Kentucky allows Bourbon distilleries within the state to lawfully use the state name in their branding. As is the want of the great men that forged this great land, they did something great. They wrote The Code of Whiskey.

Spider bites are to be treated with either; Canadian or Irish whiskey only. The Code of Whiskey; 2.4. 1794. Donovan.

Besides, Rebel Yell is for 12 year olds.
Throwing the book at us? You should know that anything (ie, drink, balm or anodyne) that references the civil war is expected to be good antiseptic, as well as imbibement. Especially if it sounds southern.

This said, just to be safe I'll try the Irish and Canadian as well. Thanks!
As thus we sat in darkness
Each one busy with his prayers,
"We are lost!" the captain shouted,
As he staggered down the stairs.

O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful. Psalm 31:23

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by CodeMonkey » Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:21 pm

I was going to mention the results of the Red River Shootout, but I decided to follow the example of JimVH and take the high road.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:52 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:21 pm
I was going to mention the results of the Red River Shootout, but I decided to follow the example of JimVH and take the high road.
We're all about that high road, huh.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Skip » Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:07 am

I'm about ready to go for some photography downtown, where it's expected to be in the low fifties (F) with 20mph winds. For the first time since last winter, I'm voluntarily wearing pants today.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Skip » Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:00 pm

Skip wrote:
Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:07 am
I'm about ready to go for some photography downtown, where it's expected to be in the low fifties (F) with 20mph winds. For the first time since last winter, I'm voluntarily wearing pants today.
I'm home. It was a good day. And I'm no longer wearing pants.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by UncleBob » Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:29 pm

Slow day on CPS today. Well, unless it was the modpocalypse.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by DepartedLight » Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:41 pm

Tomorrow, first up for work duties, I need to see what happened at a cutover for a partner and client. I already know what happened and a guy who if often demeaned by the PM team did amazing awesome stuff. His bosses boss with his boss cc’d will receive the kudos deserved.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by MDPiper » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:36 am

Insomnia! If I could just go to sleep, I might get two hours of sleep before I have to be at work in the morning. Monday is going to be fun.


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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by gaining_age » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:56 am

The wife and I had a two day craft event this weekend where we sold her crafts. It was a long couple of days in the heat, etc.

Upon returning home after packing up the display and wares I made the sad point that perhaps the panhandlers on the side of the road make more in a day than we did over the two day effort.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by UncleBob » Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:08 am

MDPiper wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:36 am
Insomnia! If I could just go to sleep, I might get two hours of sleep before I have to be at work in the morning. Monday is going to be fun.


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You have my sympathies, sir.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Mon Oct 16, 2017 8:06 am

gaining_age wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:56 am
The wife and I had a two day craft event this weekend where we sold her crafts. It was a long couple of days in the heat, etc.

Upon returning home after packing up the display and wares I made the sad point that perhaps the panhandlers on the side of the road make more in a day than we did over the two day effort.
BTDT. There's good days and bad, but it's fun trying to find the niche.
As thus we sat in darkness
Each one busy with his prayers,
"We are lost!" the captain shouted,
As he staggered down the stairs.

O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful. Psalm 31:23

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Mon Oct 16, 2017 8:08 am

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:39 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:29 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:26 pm
I've been helping clean out and disinfect a trailer/mobile home that's been infected with rats, mice and whatever else could get inside it. After working this morning until noon, the underside of my arm began itching, and I noticed a bite, which I'm pretty sure is a spider bite.

Edit: I've squeezed all the juice I can get to come out of it, and smeared it with Neosporin. I'm thinking that drinking some whisky also may help.
Can't hurt.
Rebel Yell, perhaps?
Mmm... tasty...

I approve of this course of treatment.

:chili:
Whisky won't fix the problem

Then again, neither will milk, so what the hell.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:45 pm

Sitting in the Dallas airport at a Chick-fil-a and several young men walk up to me and say, "We really like your USMC hat sir." Find out that they are on their way to MCRD San Diego for boot camp (where I went in 1984). Was a blessing to talk to some fine, young men.
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