Terrible pipe cleaners

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Hovannes
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Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Hovannes » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:01 am

Quality is a term not often applied to things we soil and dispose of, like pipe cleaners, but perhaps should be. Poor quality pipe cleaners "shed" and I can't imagine that synthetic lint of any sort in the airway can be a good thing and while pipe cleaners that don't absorb the nasties may work well for junior's craft project, they cannot cleanse the treasure trap on papa's System.
I'm down to my last ten or twelve pipe cleaners and will again resupply with Long's, which have proven to be the best available in my neck of the woods, but while I cannot praise Long's highly enough, it is the truly bad boys of the pipe cleanerdom that interest me here. The 500 count bags of multi-colored, glossy pipe suppositories sold in hobby shops.
I haven't bought one of those bags since my college days, when money was scarce, and best reserved for the acquisition of the nectar which Mr. Michelob dispensed at the local hang-outs, The Silver Dollar and The Graduate, and quickly returned to the Dill's and Ream-n-Cleans sold at every drugstore (the remaining bagged cleaners pawned off on some poor unsuspecting Elementary Ed major.)
So, what re the worse, most horrible pipe cleaners you've ever had the misfortune to use and what made them so terrible?
Did they leave purple lint all over your pinstripe business suit?
Did they leave rust stains in your pockets?
Were they limp?

Just how bad can a pipe cleaner get?

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Irish-Dane
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Irish-Dane » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:06 am

Early on in my pipe smoking days (mid '90's), I bought whatever the local Rite-Aid drugstore had. I only owned two pipes, a Grabow Grand Duke and a Peterson 999, and those things would NEVER work in the Pete. Finally someone gifted me a bag of Long's and it was seriously like Angels started singing. I had almost given up on the 999, and all because of terrible pipe cleaners.
It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. --Colton

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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by hugodrax » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:13 am

Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:06 am
Early on in my pipe smoking days (mid '90's), I bought whatever the local Rite-Aid drugstore had. I only owned two pipes, a Grabow Grand Duke and a Peterson 999, and those things would NEVER work in the Pete. Finally someone gifted me a bag of Long's and it was seriously like Angels started singing. I had almost given up on the 999, and all because of terrible pipe cleaners.
Look, this only goes two ways. Either you were trying Reem n Kleens, in which case your story is rather suspect or you are claiming to have had problems with Dill's, in which case, while I still like you, I can no longer take you seriously.
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Irish-Dane » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:19 am

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:13 am
Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:06 am
Early on in my pipe smoking days (mid '90's), I bought whatever the local Rite-Aid drugstore had. I only owned two pipes, a Grabow Grand Duke and a Peterson 999, and those things would NEVER work in the Pete. Finally someone gifted me a bag of Long's and it was seriously like Angels started singing. I had almost given up on the 999, and all because of terrible pipe cleaners.
Look, this only goes two ways. Either you were trying Reem n Kleens, in which case your story is rather suspect or you are claiming to have had problems with Dill's, in which case, while I still like you, I can no longer take you seriously.
Fairly certain they were crafty-craft pipe cleaners, not Reems or Dills. I remember this because it was before I knew Rite-Aid had pipes and tobacco, so I had just gone in and went straight for the craft section which was the only place I'd ever seen them before I started smoking.
It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. --Colton

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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by hugodrax » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:35 am

Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:19 am
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:13 am
Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:06 am
Early on in my pipe smoking days (mid '90's), I bought whatever the local Rite-Aid drugstore had. I only owned two pipes, a Grabow Grand Duke and a Peterson 999, and those things would NEVER work in the Pete. Finally someone gifted me a bag of Long's and it was seriously like Angels started singing. I had almost given up on the 999, and all because of terrible pipe cleaners.
Look, this only goes two ways. Either you were trying Reem n Kleens, in which case your story is rather suspect or you are claiming to have had problems with Dill's, in which case, while I still like you, I can no longer take you seriously.
Fairly certain they were crafty-craft pipe cleaners, not Reems or Dills. I remember this because it was before I knew Rite-Aid had pipes and tobacco, so I had just gone in and went straight for the craft section which was the only place I'd ever seen them before I started smoking.
Look, this only goes one of THREE ways.... :D
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by sweetandsour » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:39 am

I still use Ream & Kleen to this day, when I can find them. They're becoming scarce now. Sometimes nothing else will get it done, especially when cleaning up an estate pipe. For soft cleaning, new pipes, i like the Longs. They are very good.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Del » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:41 am

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:35 am
Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:19 am
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:13 am
Irish-Dane wrote:
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:06 am
Early on in my pipe smoking days (mid '90's), I bought whatever the local Rite-Aid drugstore had. I only owned two pipes, a Grabow Grand Duke and a Peterson 999, and those things would NEVER work in the Pete. Finally someone gifted me a bag of Long's and it was seriously like Angels started singing. I had almost given up on the 999, and all because of terrible pipe cleaners.
Look, this only goes two ways. Either you were trying Reem n Kleens, in which case your story is rather suspect or you are claiming to have had problems with Dill's, in which case, while I still like you, I can no longer take you seriously.
Fairly certain they were crafty-craft pipe cleaners, not Reems or Dills. I remember this because it was before I knew Rite-Aid had pipes and tobacco, so I had just gone in and went straight for the craft section which was the only place I'd ever seen them before I started smoking.
Look, this only goes one of THREE ways.... :D
None of which end with your taking Sam seriously.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by A_Morley » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:45 am

The worst? Probably Pipe Smoker's Fireside. They were thin, limp, and tended to shed. The crafting pipe cleaners, which are practically a separate article so far as I see it, worked quite well by comparison. I think that the only reason I bought Pipe Smoker's Fireside is because they were sixty five cents for a bundle.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by DepartedLight » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:44 pm

Any brand of tapered pipe cleaners.

THE.

WORST.

The fluffy end is always too huge to pass through any pipe orifice there is. Therefore, you are always backing out of said orifice. This results in pipe schmeg klingons being left behind. The whole point is to eliminate this material. Not save it in high concentration in the button.

I feel a Morley-esque rage coming on.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Steverino » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:59 pm

I have generally used the Long's. They do shed a bit and I usually beat them against something hard before I use them. That gets most of the crumbs out. I have used Dill's a few times but didn't care for them. Seemed like they were smaller diameter and didn't do as much cleaning per stroke as the Long's. I also use the Long's bristle cleaners when I do a thorough cleaning and the "fat" cleaners for specialized purposes. Yes, I have tried craft pipe cleaners in a pinch and found them to be generally unsatisfactory, so they would get my vote for worst pipe cleaners.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by Jocose » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:11 am

I have generally used the Long's. They do shed a bit and I usually beat them against something hard before I use them. That gets most of the crumbs out. I have used Dill's a few times but didn't care for them. Seemed like they were smaller diameter and didn't do as much cleaning per stroke as the Long's. I also use the Long's bristle cleaners when I do a thorough cleaning and the "fat" cleaners for specialized purposes. Yes, I have tried craft pipe cleaners in a pinch and found them to be generally unsatisfactory, so they would get my vote for worst pipe cleaners.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by FredS » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:43 am

Use a pre-lube like Dawn. It makes things slide in better. It softens and removes gunk. It adheres the fuzzies to the pipe cleaner so they pull out when you want them to. It reduces friction. It enhances the sensation.

And, like Jocose wrote, it helps to beat it against something hard beforehand.
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Re: Terrible pipe cleaners

Post by wsblevins » Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:47 pm

While I consider Long’s to be my preferred pipe cleaner, I cannot say that I’ve used a pipe cleaner that didn’t do what it was supposed to.


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