The battle is on.

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cjjags
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The battle is on.

Post by cjjags » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:48 am

:box:

The wife officially is tired of the smell of pipes. They don't have to go, but I have to change things around. A 30 minute conversation last night didn't end greatly for me and the boys.

How do you keep the 2 separated? I don't want to have to take a shower every time i smoke and brush my teeth 2 times and use a gallon of mouthwash to get the smell out. But I also don't want her to have to put up with a smell she doesn't like?


I'm moving the pipes and tins out to the shed to reside in a box so she doesn't have to mess with them in the house, but I need to know what to do to get the smell off myself and my mouth!

Oh wise ones over the years... what do you do? I'm at a loss



:box:

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Post by underscoretim » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:23 am

sounds tough.
My wife doesn't like smoke but doesn't seem to mind my smoking.
There are times when every fiber of my clothing and skin has been cased with Frog Morton or Nightcap, Smoke rolling out from under my collar and my finger nails are black from tamping. My wife will make a face and say: "you smell like smoke" to which I reply "thank you".

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Post by PipeAndPint » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:33 am

Offer to give up pipes if she gives up make-up. :P
"Cigarettes are like indulgences. They promise a lot, but in the end are just paper for burning."

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Post by claypipe » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:33 am

What is she giving up? When you negotiate only what you want you will always lose. My first wife decided I should not smoke my pipes in the house. I said fine don't use garlic ever again(she was Italian)Her unreasonable idea soon vanished.
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Post by cjjags » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:40 am

surely PnP isn't referring to something sexual... not on here?

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Post by PipeAndPint » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:42 am

cjjags wrote:surely PnP isn't referring to something sexual... not on here?
What on earth are you talking about, man? I'm talking about make-up: blush, foundation, lipstick, etc.
"Cigarettes are like indulgences. They promise a lot, but in the end are just paper for burning."

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Post by chksbak » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:43 am

i got my wive a nice chair and put it on the porch for her to sit out thier when i want to smoke inside. not really my wive does not mind me smoking and she has a few pipes of her own, she even keeps her pipes in a rack in the living room while mine stay in a rack in the spare bedroom. but maybe a smoking jacket will help keeping the smell from getting on your cloths so much.

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Post by TweednBriar » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:54 am

You need to order a decontamination chamber from Giles Scott Inc.

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Post by colton » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:57 am

Not being married, I can't comment too much on your situation, but I would guess that your wife is genuinely concerned for your health under all her talk of nastiness. From my experience, women will tolerate a lot of nastiness as long as they don't have to be a part of it and their man isn't in any danger. It seems that the general, non-smoking population has placed all forms of tobacco in the same category, and thus, it's likely that your wife sees smoking (even in moderation) as a threat to your long-term health.

So, do some research on the subject and have the information ready next time the discussion comes up. Nobody likes contrary evidence pushed down their throat, so you'll have to be careful with it. And it'd just be suicide to bring it up if the discussion gets at all heated, but handled correctly you could put her fears at ease, which would, at the very least, mitigate the squabble you're having now.

Being a single student who is an ocean away from his girlfriend, that's all the advice I think I'm qualified to give.

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Post by colton » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:35 pm

I just thought of another idea regarding the smell.

Some of my friends who are pot smokers have told me that you can smoke inside undetected if you shut yourself in the bathroom, turn on the fan, and the hot water in the shower. The smoke gets mixed up with the steam and sucked out the fan. In the mean time, the smoke is diluted by the steam. Sometimes on windy days, I'll get my pipe started inside and use this technique to clear out the smoke. It's quite effective.

So, perhaps you could invest in a steamer to weaken the smell without having to wash everything every time. You'd still go through a lot of mouthwash though...

This site might help with that: http://www.cigarcyclopedia.com/cigarprimer/basics.php (scroll down to "That Cigar Aftertaste").

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Post by Cadfael » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:56 pm

I'd have to second chksbak's suggestion of a smoking jacket. It won't help your smoker's breath, but it will dramatically cut down on the smell getting into your clothing. My family was used to the stink of cigarettes on me, so when I switched to the pipe there were no complaints, and haven't been any since. Even so, I've toyed with the idea of a smoking jacket myself actually.
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Post by Michael » Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:06 pm

Not that this will help much, but I remember a line in one of the Father Dowling mysteries by Ralph McInerney. Fr. Dowling, a Catholic priest, was a pipe smoker. The line was something like: "Tobacco is the consolation of celibacy."

But on a serious note, you could try looking into room air purifiers, though I'm not sure how much effect they have on clothing. You could also try smoker's mouthwash, which a lot of drug stores sell.

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Post by cjjags » Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:10 pm

i apologize PnP.

I hope i'm not thought of lowly for this, but my first impression of "makeup" was makeup sex.

For some reason foundation and lipstick did not come to mind at all. maybe because it was a bit of a "argument" that's what I was thinking of.

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Post by adauria » Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:25 pm

A couple of things:

- Peanut butter tends to clear up the taste... mostly.

- smoking jacket sounds like a great idea, mainly because I've always wanted one and think they look super cool. besides, it's another nifty accessory and part of the hallowed ritual.

- I've made somethings clear with my wife. Namely, that the proposition of physical intimacy with her is always a chanhce, a percentage game if you will. On the other hand, pleasure from smoking is a sure thing every time. So every day I have to make the decision - do I play the percentage game with my wife, or do I go for the sure thing? Different days I take different paths, based on moods and other factors.

- If it were my house, I wouldn't want her making it smell unpleasant to me, and would ask her to stop her unpleasant odors in the house. Likewise, I respect her feelings in the house and confine my smoking to outdoors (or at least to my office - at least I used to before the first baby was born).

- My life is also simplified by the fact that I generally smoke at night, and she goes to bed quite early. If I choose the tobacco route (the "sure thing"), she's usually in bed before I'm done smoking. At that point, she doesn't have to smell me (at least, by the time she wakes up the smell is gone).

hope some of that helps.

-Andrew

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Post by Dug » Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:31 pm

Just now saw this thread, after posting the following in the "Addictive?" thread:
Sounds like you've got your priorities right, cjjags. If we're called to love our wives as Christ loved his Church -- i.e., in a self-sacrificing way for the good of the beloved -- then restricting our baccy consumption out of consideration for our wives sounds like part of the deal.

My wife has an unbelievably strong sense of smell, and finds tobacco smoke very bothersome. So, I end up smoking outside on the porch (or during the day, at work), and never more than once or twice a week. Afterwards, I subject myself to a patented, 20-step de-smellification process (involving baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, toothbrushing, 80-grit sandpaper, a wind tunnel, and a boxcar full of lilacs). That's the mutual accommodation we've settled in to, aided by her ability to understand by analogy (to shoes and Barefoot Contessa episodes on the TiVo, both of which she possesses in numbers beyond those dictated by mere practicality).

Hopefully, if you're proactively considerate and kind (as it sounds like you are), she'll be understanding of the pleasure you derive, and you can find a mutually agreeable accomodation.
Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating about my desmellification process (it's only a pickup truck full of lilacs, not a boxcar). After smoking in the evening, my routine does sound a bit like what you don't want to do: I usually swish vigorously with baking soda and water (or sometimes hydrogen peroxide) for a minute, then brush my teeth, mouth, and tongue (until the back of my tongue is pink and clean again) with toothpaste. Three times out of four, I will shower before going to bed (though not necessarily immediately after smoking). I also wear a jacket while smoking, or change my shirt afterwards. This seems to do the trick.

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Post by Steverino » Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:06 pm

The only thing I do is just time my evening smoke so that it is after the bulk of one to one contact is over for the evening. I don't have a smoking jacket, but I do have a heavy Carhart shirt that I usually wear when smoking. Helps with the ashes and has a pocket for my pipe tool. I guess when I take this off, the smell isn't too bad as she never complains about this aspect. Smoking inside is still prohibited, though I sneak a few puffs now and then. Like when she says, "Honey, could you come look at this for me?" when I'm outside smoking. I respond sure, then come in with the pipe going. I'm hoping that one day, when I'm out smoking in the freezing cold, this will result in her saying, "Oh what the heck, you might as well smoke inside. Just make sure it is an aroma I like." She has only complained about my breath a few times (probably after some heavy latakia blend) and I sometimes suggest that, if she would try the pipe too, she might like it. I usually just get a stern look back.
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Post by Zed » Tue Nov 13, 2007 8:42 pm

You just tell her "My house my rules and I will do what I want". Then you will have the house to yourself and you can do what you want. Problem solved. :wink:

It took awhile for my wife to get used to it. Now it does not appear to bother her as much as it used to. She used to try to talk me out of it all together but after explaining to her about my daily stress and that smoking pipe is one of the few things that keeps me from killing people she finally droped it.

I take some minor precautions when smoking. First I am outside either in the open or in a place well ventelated. If the smoke lingers around you then it will stick to you. I usually wear a hat. A thin stocking cap will do nicely. Hair has a tendacy of holding molecules better than your skin. So the hat will do you well. I also wear a smoking jacket. It really is just a very old very worn cheap fleese that is now nearly the thickness of a new t-shirt. That only leaves the breath. I have tried a few mouth washes and havn't found an effective one. But at this point I dont really care. It appears that others have responded with some good ideas.

Lastly and most importantly. Find something she approves of. Every time I get a new tobacco I will ask my wife to come outside and give her opinion of the room note. Then when I am done I will go inside and kiss her and ask what she thinks. If it is repulsive then it wont be purchased again. If she says it is not bad and I like it then it goes to the top 10 list. I would suggest you try the same. Tell her in advanced that you want her opinons of the various tobaccos and what she thinks of the odor on you after. I have noticed that after 0.5-1.0 hour after smoking certain tobaccos simply dont stink on me any more. So I will just hang around outside for an hour and let it "go away". Some trial and error and you and the wife may come to a compromise. But you must be willing to give up your favorite to make this work. My wife likes NO VA's and NO english. So to appeal to her it is all aromatics. Being I have a sweet tooth it is not a problem for me. However, lately I have been experimenting with english (she is not too pleased).

So cover up to reduce surface area. And truly I beleive that finding a backy you both approve of will make a world of difference.

If she hassels you to much remind her you are a good husband and you truly need some yet few pleasures to keep your sanity. There are far worse things a frustrated husband can do.
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Post by Joshua_Briar » Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:46 pm

adauria said: - I've made somethings clear with my wife. Namely, that the proposition of physical intimacy with her is always a chanhce, a percentage game if you will. On the other hand, pleasure from smoking is a sure thing every time. So every day I have to make the decision - do I play the percentage game with my wife, or do I go for the sure thing? Different days I take different paths, based on moods and other factors.
Brilliant! Familiar concept, excellent articulation.

I have to agree w/ adauria on most points, I too primarily smoke in the evenings after she has retired. Weekends are a little different, but I generally just try to minimize my contact with her until I've washed up and removed my jacket.
Regarding mutual agreement on bad odors... if I could only gain some ground on the fingernail polish remover front, or the potpourri front, I would be willing to make greater concessions. But I doubt she will ever do her nails outside, and the potpourri would just blow away...
cjjags wrote:
surely PnP isn't referring to something sexual... not on here?
What on earth are you talking about, man? I'm talking about make-up: blush, foundation, lipstick, etc.
LOL
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Post by parson » Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:54 am

I agree with the suggestions here re clothing and location. I also typically only smoke late in the evening after my dear bride has retired, or early in the morning before she's up. She doesn't particularly like the smell, but is quite tolerant. I've also found my breath is greatly improved by the full regimen of flossing, brushing, Waterpik, etc. It's also dependent on what I've smoked. There's some blends I won't touch at night because I don't want to still be tasting them come morning.

A little common courtesy and understanding help. But, I agree with Chuck Stanion at Pipe and Tobacco Magazine when he says, "My wife and children consider my pipe smoking an aberrant behavior and seem to hope that some day I'll come to my senses, look at the smoldering pipe in my hand and toss it away." (paraphrased, obviously).

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Post by ArtGuy » Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:23 pm

colton wrote:...I would guess that your wife is genuinely concerned for your health under all her talk of nastiness.

BWAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAAAAAA .... You single guys crack me up. :wink:
John

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