My Young Ladies

We never get tired of hearing these tales.
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FredS
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My Young Ladies

Post by FredS » Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:15 am

Don't know where to put this so I'll park it here.

By American standards we're not a wealthy family. Certainly not poor, but we don't throw money around either. As such, we've never bought cars for our children. Of course we help where we've deemed it appropriate, but they've each had the burden of having their own skin in the car ownership game. That said, they've each driven a junker or two as the worked through high school and their post secondary educations and in to their careers. I have some rudimentary mechanic skills and 'we've' usually done the maintenance and repairs at home, so they know a little about cars and that I can usually fix them in a jam.

Every one of my daughters is now away from home and out changing the world. And every one of them had a car issue a few weeks/months after striking out on their own. And every one of them called me crying, alone, and panicked from the side of the road. And it's been my special pleasure to know exactly what to say to each one to first talk them off the ledge, then make sure they're safe, then help figure out how to get out of their particular jam. Praise God that the issues have been minor and they've been able to get help from a local friend or find an honest tow truck and mechanic to fix them up.

There's really nothing I can do in those situations other than be here on the other end of the call. A dad's voice and a little wisdom because I've been there and done that. Like when they learned to ride a bike, it seems they just need to know that I'm back there behind them ready to catch them if they fall. They look back less often these days, but I hope they never stop glancing over their shoulders. Just to be sure.

Two reasons I've filed this under 'Testimonies':
- I truly believe God has answered my prayers each time I got those calls. The hardships were arranged to stretch the girls way out of their comfort zones, yet not so bad that they weren't quickly and cheaply remedied. 'Teaching moments' if you will. I got one of those calls last night and I was reminded again how good our God is.

- I think mature Christians should be able to wean ourselves from begging for help in our prayers. I'm not saying we don't pray, just that we don't come before Him only with a list of petitions and pleas to get us out of our latest jam. By this point in my life, I have a pretty good handle on His will and should be trying to conform my life to it, not constantly asking Him to bail me out when I get off track. This is difficult for me to express and I'm sure some will get my thoughts twisted, but my prayers now are primarily prayers of thanks, not a list of all my problems. I don't need to look back very often to know He's there, ready to steady me when things get wobbly. But I also try to live so things don't get too wobbly to begin with now.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by wosbald » Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:25 am

+JMJ+
FredS wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:15 am
… and I'm sure some will get my thoughts twisted …
Ya think, eh?




"In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph." - Our Lady of Fatima

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FredS
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by FredS » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:42 pm

wosbald wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:25 am
+JMJ+
FredS wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:15 am
… and I'm sure some will get my thoughts twisted …
Ya think, eh?
I won't name names because we know who they are, but we have a few guys who come 'round here only when they're so jammed up they see no way out. We don't know them in the good times, and - more importantly - they don't know God in the good times. Only the bad. I'm not trying to equate myself with God, but it would be similar to some girl who I don't know, or maybe I barely know because she's a friend of my kid, calling me in the middle of the night asking for help. I'm probably not going to go out in the rain at midnight to help her. It can wait 'till morning. God's grace is much larger than mine (it's that seventy times seven deal), but I'm pretty sure He doesn't care to be someones make-a-wish machine.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Bloodhound » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:53 pm

FredS wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:15 am
Don't know where to put this so I'll park it here.

By American standards we're not a wealthy family. Certainly not poor, but we don't throw money around either. As such, we've never bought cars for our children. Of course we help where we've deemed it appropriate, but they've each had the burden of having their own skin in the car ownership game. That said, they've each driven a junker or two as the worked through high school and their post secondary educations and in to their careers. I have some rudimentary mechanic skills and 'we've' usually done the maintenance and repairs at home, so they know a little about cars and that I can usually fix them in a jam.

Every one of my daughters is now away from home and out changing the world. And every one of them had a car issue a few weeks/months after striking out on their own. And every one of them called me crying, alone, and panicked from the side of the road. And it's been my special pleasure to know exactly what to say to each one to first talk them off the ledge, then make sure they're safe, then help figure out how to get out of their particular jam. Praise God that the issues have been minor and they've been able to get help from a local friend or find an honest tow truck and mechanic to fix them up.

There's really nothing I can do in those situations other than be here on the other end of the call. A dad's voice and a little wisdom because I've been there and done that. Like when they learned to ride a bike, it seems they just need to know that I'm back there behind them ready to catch them if they fall. They look back less often these days, but I hope they never stop glancing over their shoulders. Just to be sure.

Two reasons I've filed this under 'Testimonies':
- I truly believe God has answered my prayers each time I got those calls. The hardships were arranged to stretch the girls way out of their comfort zones, yet not so bad that they weren't quickly and cheaply remedied. 'Teaching moments' if you will. I got one of those calls last night and I was reminded again how good our God is.

- I think mature Christians should be able to wean ourselves from begging for help in our prayers. I'm not saying we don't pray, just that we don't come before Him only with a list of petitions and pleas to get us out of our latest jam. By this point in my life, I have a pretty good handle on His will and should be trying to conform my life to it, not constantly asking Him to bail me out when I get off track. This is difficult for me to express and I'm sure some will get my thoughts twisted, but my prayers now are primarily prayers of thanks, not a list of all my problems. I don't need to look back very often to know He's there, ready to steady me when things get wobbly. But I also try to live so things don't get too wobbly to begin with now.
This touched my heart today.
Thank you for reminding me today.
Last edited by Bloodhound on Mon Aug 14, 2017 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Gabriel » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:59 pm

Thanks, Fred.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by JimVH » Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:23 pm

Gabriel wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:59 pm
Thanks, Fred.
Yep. That's some well-timed perspective for me.

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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Thunktank » Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:29 pm

I get it.

Good words, Fred.

Not to hijack the thread, but I don't ask God for much at all, other than to not lead me into temptation or to give me the grace to deal with whatever crap I'm in. But I was raised by rugged individualists and personal responsibility was huge as was self sufficiency. I don't like to ask for help at all! When people ask for help, I'm more than willing to give it if needed, but I perhaps jump to judging their "needs" using very lofty standards. First, I usually default to the the thinking of, "What did you do to help yourself?" I think people have different kinds of "love language" and some are givers, some were raised by givers and so they equate love to giving. It follows for them that a loving father gives things. Is it any wonder that this carries over into their adult lives in relation to a Father in heaven. Couple that with weak beliefs about taking up crosses and following, they only expect material comfort. Of course the flip side to my own view is that God, my Dad and Mom and me are hard asses. My kids know I'm there and they know that I'm tough on them.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by ReverendThom » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:36 pm

Yes. The problem with folks who only come to God when "in need" is they soon forget His goodness again (and again and again). Praise Him in the good, the bad, the ugly. Always. Adoration should at the very least be the start of all our prayers ... I think. c.f. Psalm 106
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by hugodrax » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:59 pm

Thunktank wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:29 pm
I get it.

Good words, Fred.

Not to hijack the thread, but I don't ask God for much at all, other than to not lead me into temptation or to give me the grace to deal with whatever crap I'm in. But I was raised by rugged individualists and personal responsibility was huge as was self sufficiency. I don't like to ask for help at all! When people ask for help, I'm more than willing to give it if needed, but I perhaps jump to judging their "needs" using very lofty standards. First, I usually default to the the thinking of, "What did you do to help yourself?" I think people have different kinds of "love language" and some are givers, some were raised by givers and so they equate love to giving. It follows for them that a loving father gives things. Is it any wonder that this carries over into their adult lives in relation to a Father in heaven. Couple that with weak beliefs about taking up crosses and following, they only expect material comfort. Of course the flip side to my own view is that God, my Dad and Mom and me are hard asses. My kids know I'm there and they know that I'm tough on them.
This.

I love threads like these. For years and years, my faith only really existed in the rough times. Where there was fear or pain, I leaned on God...the rest of the time, I thought I could handle it. Wondered why I always wandered away.

The answer was simple. I wanted things my way and was looking for the inside help to get it. I'm with Thunk and the Rev. Mr. Thom and FredS...thankfulness is the way to go. I'm alive. I can enjoy food (kidney diet made me realize how much of a gift the sense of taste is). My family is happy.

My most fervent prayer is the Lord's Prayer now. Thy will be done. Let me do Thy Will. And thank You for the good things and the bad.

This thread is why this place rocks.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by DepartedLight » Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:14 pm

JimVH wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:23 pm
Gabriel wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:59 pm
Thanks, Fred.
Yep. That's some well-timed perspective for me.
+ more like this

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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by durangopipe » Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:36 pm

. . . rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer

Romans 12:12
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by johara34 » Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:49 pm

That's the beautiful thing about parenthood...it's a (cracked) mirror of our relationship with God. Every time that I, as a father, am able to comfort my children in a moment of need with little more than the right word spoken quietly at the right time, I'm reminded of how much more our Heavenly Father is able to comfort us. And every time I screw it all up (which is more frequently than I'd care to admit), I'm so thankful that I have a Father who never does.

Absolutely beautiful sentiment, Fred.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Sir Moose » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:12 pm

johara34 wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:49 pm
That's the beautiful thing about parenthood...it's a (cracked) mirror of our relationship with God. Every time that I, as a father, am able to comfort my children in a moment of need with little more than the right word spoken quietly at the right time, I'm reminded of how much more our Heavenly Father is able to comfort us. And every time I screw it all up (which is more frequently than I'd care to admit), I'm so thankful that I have a Father who never does.

Absolutely beautiful sentiment, Fred.
Absolutely agree. I learned a whole lot more about God by looking at my daughter for the first time than I did in many milquetoast sermons.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Fainn » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:09 am

Thunktank wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:29 pm
Of course the flip side to my own view is that God, my Dad and Mom and me are hard asses.
Except for my dad, I feel the same exact way.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by sweetandsour » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:37 am

Thanks Fred; good thread.
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Re: My Young Ladies

Post by Goose55 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:33 am

Bloodhound wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:53 pm
FredS wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:15 am
Don't know where to put this so I'll park it here.

By American standards we're not a wealthy family. Certainly not poor, but we don't throw money around either. As such, we've never bought cars for our children. Of course we help where we've deemed it appropriate, but they've each had the burden of having their own skin in the car ownership game. That said, they've each driven a junker or two as the worked through high school and their post secondary educations and in to their careers. I have some rudimentary mechanic skills and 'we've' usually done the maintenance and repairs at home, so they know a little about cars and that I can usually fix them in a jam.

Every one of my daughters is now away from home and out changing the world. And every one of them had a car issue a few weeks/months after striking out on their own. And every one of them called me crying, alone, and panicked from the side of the road. And it's been my special pleasure to know exactly what to say to each one to first talk them off the ledge, then make sure they're safe, then help figure out how to get out of their particular jam. Praise God that the issues have been minor and they've been able to get help from a local friend or find an honest tow truck and mechanic to fix them up.

There's really nothing I can do in those situations other than be here on the other end of the call. A dad's voice and a little wisdom because I've been there and done that. Like when they learned to ride a bike, it seems they just need to know that I'm back there behind them ready to catch them if they fall. They look back less often these days, but I hope they never stop glancing over their shoulders. Just to be sure.

Two reasons I've filed this under 'Testimonies':
- I truly believe God has answered my prayers each time I got those calls. The hardships were arranged to stretch the girls way out of their comfort zones, yet not so bad that they weren't quickly and cheaply remedied. 'Teaching moments' if you will. I got one of those calls last night and I was reminded again how good our God is.

- I think mature Christians should be able to wean ourselves from begging for help in our prayers. I'm not saying we don't pray, just that we don't come before Him only with a list of petitions and pleas to get us out of our latest jam. By this point in my life, I have a pretty good handle on His will and should be trying to conform my life to it, not constantly asking Him to bail me out when I get off track. This is difficult for me to express and I'm sure some will get my thoughts twisted, but my prayers now are primarily prayers of thanks, not a list of all my problems. I don't need to look back very often to know He's there, ready to steady me when things get wobbly. But I also try to live so things don't get too wobbly to begin with now.
This touched my heart today.
Thank you for reminding me today.
Touched me, too. Thanks, Fred.
"At present we're on the wrong side of the door. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so." ~ C.S. Lewis

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