Red River Shootout

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:49 pm

To all Texans, you are my enemy.

On Saturday you will be beaten and humiliated so badly that Justin Bieber will look manly in comparison.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by AFRS » Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:51 pm

That is all.

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Post by JimVH » Tue Oct 08, 2013 9:03 pm

Bring it.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

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Post by UncleBob » Tue Oct 08, 2013 9:30 pm

Its a win, win for me.
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Post by MDPiper » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:25 am

I may be from Texas, but my heart still belongs in Oklahoma.

BOOMER SOONER!
Gitty Up!

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Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:35 am

JimVH wrote:Bring it.
Oh, we will bring it and after we've finished, slaughter house employees will puke when they see what's been done to the Texas players.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:22 am

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Oklahoma's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by UncleBob » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:40 am

Q: Did you hear about the man eating lion that escaped into the UT football dorm?

A: It starved to death.

:taco:
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:55 am

OU is where the toothbrush was invented. If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a "teethbrush".
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:34 am

The UT coach ask a new recruit if he could pass a football. The recruit replied that if he could swallow it he could pass it.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:37 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:The UT coach ask a new recruit if he could pass a football. The recruit replied that if he could swallow it he could pass it.
Ok, I laughed. I'll admit it.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by Irish-Dane » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:41 pm

Well, now this thread has taken a fun turn.
It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. --Colton

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:47 pm

On a more serious note:

Q: What does the average OU football player get on his SAT?

A: Drool.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:12 pm

Why are rectal thermometers banned at UT?
They cause too much brain damage.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:20 pm

Q: What keeps Texas from floating off into the Gulf of Mexico?

A: OU sucks.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by FredS » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:45 pm

I'm happy to jump on the anti-UT bandwagon.

Q: Why did UT install artificial turf in their football stadium?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
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Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:23 pm

What do you call 144 UT students.?
Gross ignorance.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:50 pm

Why did his team laugh when the OU player got caught kissing a cow?


Because he picked the ugly one.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:01 pm

Tragedy struck the Texas football team during the Christmas break. Five team members went to Colorado for a ski vacation. They froze to death at a drive in theatre waiting to see Closed for the winter.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:18 pm

What do you call an OU football player with a championship ring?


A thief.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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