Red River Shootout

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Del
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Post by Del » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:28 pm

What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
REMEMBER THE KAVANAUGH!

"I shall not wear a crown of gold where my Master wore a crown of thorns." - Godfrey de Bouillon

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Post by UncleBob » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:47 pm

Del wrote:What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
Hey now! No one calls us names but us!
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:29 am

UncleBob wrote:
Del wrote:What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
Hey now! No one calls us names but us!
You mess with one, you're messin with all.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:30 pm

JimVH wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Del wrote:What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
Hey now! No one calls us names but us!
You mess with one, you're messin with all.
That's no big surprise since all of you are related and one big happy family.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:39 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:
JimVH wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Del wrote:What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
Hey now! No one calls us names but us!
You mess with one, you're messin with all.
That's no big surprise since all of you are related and one big happy family.
Ouch. As soon as I stop the bleeding I will respond.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:34 pm

A Baylor football player transferred to UT. It raised the average IQ of both teams.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by UncleBob » Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:34 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:
JimVH wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Del wrote:What is a Texan, anyway?

Just another Mexican on his way to Oklahoma, right?
Hey now! No one calls us names but us!
You mess with one, you're messin with all.
That's no big surprise since all of you are related and one big happy family.
HA! I've visited Oklahoma!

Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, meet pot.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:10 pm

Q: What does an OU player and a bottle of beer have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:06 pm

A group of UT football players decided to take a road trip to Houston. They saw a road sign that said Houston left so they turned around and went home.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:21 pm

What do you get when the OU offense goes into a huddle?

A full set of teeth.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:58 pm

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room.

As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."

The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"

He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour.

"In this room, I was thinking of an off blue."

Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"

This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color.

And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"

Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?"

The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of UT graduates laying sod across the street."
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:04 pm

Q. How do you get a UT football player to laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Tuesday.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:51 pm

If there has ever been crime-scene tape on your dorm room door...

You might be an OU football player.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by JimVH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:02 pm

OU players don't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, they don't know the meaning of most words.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by UncleBob » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:03 pm

JimVH wrote:If there has ever been crime-scene tape on your dorm room door...

You might be an OU football player.
Uh-oh! We are entering Jeff Foxworthy territory.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Oct 11, 2013 4:17 am

UncleBob wrote:
JimVH wrote:If there has ever been crime-scene tape on your dorm room door...

You might be an OU football player.
Uh-oh! We are entering Jeff Foxworthy territory.
:lol:
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Post by JimVH » Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:20 am

How can you tell if an OU football player has a girlfriend?



There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Post by UncleBob » Fri Oct 11, 2013 6:59 am

I went to an OU game once and was impressed by their school fight song.

Best version of "Dueling Banjos" with a brass section I ever heard.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:33 pm

Two UT football players were celebrating with exuberance. The bartender asked them what they were celebrating. One of them replied that they had finished a jigsaw puzzle in three months. The bartender asked what was so special about that. The player said it was because the box said four to six years.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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JimVH
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Post by JimVH » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:44 pm

Fifth grade - the hardest six years of an OU player's life.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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