Red River Shootout

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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MrPiper
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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by MrPiper » Sun Oct 05, 2014 6:59 pm

xxxxxx
Last edited by MrPiper on Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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JimVH
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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:05 pm

OU football players are the inspiration for "A mind is a terrible thing to waste".
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Mon Oct 06, 2014 7:47 pm

One of the most common statements by the Texas coach to his players "Grip your ears firmly and pull your head out of your butt"
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Mon Oct 06, 2014 7:52 pm

UT players drink from the fountain of knowledge. OU players just gargle with it.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:36 pm

Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is a Texas football player?
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:08 pm

A Texas student was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a Texas football player coming towards her. "Tell me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is mass out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hats on crooked."
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:14 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:A Texas student was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a Texas football player coming towards her. "Tell me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is mass out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hats on crooked."
That's. Funny.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by gravel » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:19 pm


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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:48 pm

Image
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:14 pm

JimVH wrote:Image
:D
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:34 pm

Every Texas player has a job waiting for them back home, village idiot.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by UncleBob » Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:35 pm

CodeMonkey wrote:Every Texas player has a job waiting for them back home, village idiot.
I didn't think you could recover from that new universal choking poster.
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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:48 am

T-24 hours (and ten minutes)

Image
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:41 pm

JimVH wrote:T-24 hours (and ten minutes)

Image

Sacrilege. May your codpiece be the playground of a thousand mosquitoes.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Fri Oct 10, 2014 6:47 pm

Wow, straight to a codpiece hex. I must have hit a nerve.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:18 pm

The Texas football team members are nobody's fool, can someone please adopt them.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:15 am

We dodged a bullet on that one.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:26 am

Ouch.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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JimVH
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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by JimVH » Sat Oct 11, 2014 1:27 pm

I'll be in the kitchen eating some crow if you need me, CodeMonkey.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Red River Shootout

Post by CodeMonkey » Sat Oct 11, 2014 3:11 pm

Looking at the score it looks like it was a good game. It doesn’t pay to bet on the Red River Shootout because it’s never a forgone conclusion. Let’s put these past few days behind us and become friends again, at least until the second week of October 2015.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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