Tell Jesus Claus What You Want for Me-mas

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Post by JesusClaus » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:23 pm

OldWorldSwine wrote:
Ethell wrote:First, I doubt there's any way I'll be able to pull this post off without sounding high and mighty, but I must try.

Second, I do realize this is the Youth Room and is perhaps one reason I most steer clear of the Youth Room.

Rusty, I don't know what problems others may have with this thread or the JesusClaus sockpuppet, but I know the problem I have. Jesus is my King. Not only that, He is the King of Kings, to be revered and worshipped, not the object of a joke or farce.

I'm all for sarcasm and jokes in their proper setting, but when it comes to the name of God (see the third commandment) I want to say far away from that line. I can't see any way to pull off the whole JesusClaus joke without breaking the third commandment.

Hope that helped. I'll be staying in the Fellowship Hall and Prayer Requests rooms for a while.
Yep. A bridge too far for this lad. Can't manage to get very excited about it.
Ok, two.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Post by JesusClaus » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:24 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Ethell wrote:First, I doubt there's any way I'll be able to pull this post off without sounding high and mighty, but I must try.

Second, I do realize this is the Youth Room and is perhaps one reason I most steer clear of the Youth Room.

Rusty, I don't know what problems others may have with this thread or the JesusClaus sockpuppet, but I know the problem I have. Jesus is my King. Not only that, He is the King of Kings, to be revered and worshipped, not the object of a joke or farce.

I'm all for sarcasm and jokes in their proper setting, but when it comes to the name of God (see the third commandment) I want to say far away from that line. I can't see any way to pull off the whole JesusClaus joke without breaking the third commandment.

Hope that helped. I'll be staying in the Fellowship Hall and Prayer Requests rooms for a while.
Oh, for the love of Pete. Are there no Hebrew scholars among you? This commandment most likely condemns one (or both) of two possibilities-at least to the people of the day: (1) don't swear by God's name and lie and/or (2) don't use it in any magic or witchcraft.
Ok, three.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Post by JesusClaus » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:24 pm

UncleBob wrote:This is interesting: Christian anarchists ruin Christmas by stealing bikini calendars in Jesus’ name. If true, would that fall under the aegis of the "third command"? I'm just trying to find the parameters here.
Those folks are getting raptor poo, for shoo.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Post by Rusty » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:00 am

JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
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Post by james-owen » Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:16 am

Skip wrote:If it offends you, leave it alone. Good choice.
I have been out of the loop awhile but do we now use personal responsibility?
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Post by Rusty » Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:35 am

james-owen wrote:
Skip wrote:If it offends you, leave it alone. Good choice.
I have been out of the loop awhile but do we now use personal responsibility?
For what? This is the youth room. Think about how threads & posters get here.
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Post by gaining_age » Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:07 am

Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
Seriously going to keep bringing up my daughter? Have you no respect?
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
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2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

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Post by Rusty » Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:15 am

gaining_age wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
Seriously going to keep bringing up my daughter? Have you no respect?
I am full of awesome respect. Look, I'm just helping with buttons ... simple mechanical stuff. Button on... Button off... oooooh.
Oh, but that reminds me. Does she know any physics?

And when you say "bringing up" do you have in mind co-parenting? 'Cause if it is then I need to decline. I'm a simple button consultant. There are many like me but I'm the original. And if, instead, you are referring to the number of references to the button-challenged beauty there will a lot by the time we're finished. I'm sure you can calculate how many ... go ahead, try it and post the solution for the exciting edification of others. Hint: you may wish to parametrize the number of posters quoting the growing quote stack as the days increase and thereby causing you angst.

You need to relax ....breathe in, breath out...'cause tomorrow's update might upset you.... a little. Look I have a daughter too. But you have to let go. Practice practice practice....

Where is the lovely button-challenged beauty? I ask because you never know, Jesus Claus may actually come through on the deal. And I'll need to give him directions. That boy doesn't even know which way is up. :D
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Post by infidel » Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:22 am

JesusClaus wrote:I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
Feathers, dammit! I want raptor feathers!
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Post by Rusty » Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:39 am

infidel wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
Feathers, dammit! I want raptor feathers!
Were all raptors feathered? Because if so then qualifying them as feathered raptors isn't really adding anything, except maybe irritating the evolution-challenged, ornithologically obsessed Christians. It's implicit in the raptor reference, right?

OTOH, if they're not all feathered then we need to ascertain exactly which Raptor species has cosied up with this welcher. You're the expert so pepper Hayzeus with questions sufficient to determine the answer.
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Post by infidel » Thu Dec 19, 2013 11:11 am

Rusty wrote:
infidel wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
Feathers, dammit! I want raptor feathers!
Were all raptors feathered? Because if so then qualifying them as feathered raptors isn't really adding anything, except maybe irritating the evolution-challenged, ornithologically obsessed Christians. It's implicit in the raptor reference, right?

OTOH, if they're not all feathered then we need to ascertain exactly which Raptor species has cosied up with this welcher. You're the expert so pepper Hayzeus with questions sufficient to determine the answer.
I didn't say a feathered raptor, I said raptor feathers. I have too many small mammalians in my house to foster such a creature, no matter how cool it may be.

:-P
Inadvertently emboldening the cause of naïve Evolutionism since 2016.

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Post by Rusty » Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:01 pm

infidel wrote:
Rusty wrote:
infidel wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
Feathers, dammit! I want raptor feathers!
Were all raptors feathered? Because if so then qualifying them as feathered raptors isn't really adding anything, except maybe irritating the evolution-challenged, ornithologically obsessed Christians. It's implicit in the raptor reference, right?

OTOH, if they're not all feathered then we need to ascertain exactly which Raptor species has cosied up with this welcher. You're the expert so pepper Hayzeus with questions sufficient to determine the answer.
I didn't say a feathered raptor, I said raptor feathers. I have too many small mammalians in my house to foster such a creature, no matter how cool it may be.

:-P
Ah ok I get it. Feathers hold the raptor. It'll make a nice collection. Probably smells though. Still it might look nifty on a shelf mounted in a raptor coprolite.

I wonder if Jesus Claus is aware of a new request?
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Post by Rusty » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:23 am

gaining_age wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
Seriously going to keep bringing up my daughter? Have you no respect?
On the fourth day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
four piece lingerie set,
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

'Twas five days before Me-mas and all through the forum not a Jesus Claus was stirring nor any raptor. He is fading out. We're outlasting him. Such a fuss over a simple spreadsheet. And just when I managed to get Hilary to help resolve our little dispute. Apparently Bill is at the age where he needs to be jump started so maybe you can double up on the lingerie as a thank you to Hilary. Oh, and pls go light on buttons for the lingerie. Calm GA, stay calm. breathe. Uhmmm what size is she, GA?

® Rusty Production
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
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Post by JesusClaus » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:31 am

infidel wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
Feathers, dammit! I want raptor feathers!
That is among the most common Me-mas requests. But I always have to say no or all my raptors would be bald and then how would I bring presents to all the good boys and girls and raptor poo to the bad boys and girls?
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Post by JesusClaus » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:36 am

Rusty wrote:
gaining_age wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
Seriously going to keep bringing up my daughter? Have you no respect?
On the fourth day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
four piece lingerie set,
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

'Twas five days before Me-mas and all through the forum not a Jesus Claus was stirring nor any raptor. He is fading out. We're outlasting him. Such a fuss over a simple spreadsheet. And just when I managed to get Hilary to help resolve our little dispute. Apparently Bill is at the age where he needs to be jump started so maybe you can double up on the lingerie as a thank you to Hilary. Oh, and pls go light on buttons for the lingerie. Calm GA, stay calm. breathe. Uhmmm what size is she, GA?

® Rusty Production
I'm busy checking my list and studying weather charts to plan my flight.

You know, if you keep talking about GA's daughter in the same conversation with lingerie, you may be getting more that raptor poo in your stocking.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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Post by Rusty » Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:25 am

JesusClaus wrote:I'm busy checking my list and studying weather charts to plan my flight.

You know, if you keep talking about GA's daughter in the same conversation with lingerie, you may be getting more that raptor poo in your stocking.
The prodigal son returns! So you're not gone.

I'm not sure what you have in mind. Did GA request something for my stocking?

Look, she can't wear flannel continuously. Exactly what is she going to wear when it is being washed? If she somehow gets too hot she'll glow and then the flannel needs washing. Whew! I'm not aware of buttons occurring naturally on the female anatomy. So they have to occur in some other way, right? Also I'm just enlarging the incidence of buttons into other fasteners on other types of clothing. Perfectly reasonable. GA is also the only one claiming her as his daughter and while I don't want to enrage him she may deny it all. "Who's your daddy, honey?" We have to keep an open mind on these hypothetical situations. But as you say, plan for the worst and hope for the best... stay tuned.
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Post by AFRS » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:16 pm

Rusty wrote:I'm not aware of buttons occurring naturally on the female anatomy.
Belly buttons.

Your education is now complete.

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Post by Rusty » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:46 pm

AFRS wrote:
Rusty wrote:I'm not aware of buttons occurring naturally on the female anatomy.
Belly buttons.

Your education is now complete.
Really. Natural buttons on the belly. Ok now we know what we can do when the flannel is in the wash. Excellent.

It's not like they come off though. Right? They make interesting phones, radio receivers, and nice toys but they don't button or unbutton.
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Post by Rusty » Sat Dec 21, 2013 5:54 am

JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
gaining_age wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote:
JesusClaus wrote:
Rusty wrote: Listen, if I don't get an update I'm going to compose The 12 days of Me-mas. I'll fix you, my little pretty, and your velociraptor too!
That would really teach me my lesson.
On the first day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
a button-challenged beauty..

Want more?

® Rusty Production
That is a good start.
On the second day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

The siege continues.

® Rusty Production
LOL!

I can just hear it now: "On the fith day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me..

FIVE RAPTOR POOS!"
On the third day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

Listen bud, economic sanctions will be applied! Comply.

® Rusty Production
Seriously going to keep bringing up my daughter? Have you no respect?
On the fourth day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
four piece lingerie set,
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

'Twas five days before Me-mas and all through the forum not a Jesus Claus was stirring nor any raptor. He is fading out. We're outlasting him. Such a fuss over a simple spreadsheet. And just when I managed to get Hilary to help resolve our little dispute. Apparently Bill is at the age where he needs to be jump started so maybe you can double up on the lingerie as a thank you to Hilary. Oh, and pls go light on buttons for the lingerie. Calm GA, stay calm. breathe. Uhmmm what size is she, GA?

® Rusty Production
I'm busy checking my list and studying weather charts to plan my flight.

You know, if you keep talking about GA's daughter in the same conversation with lingerie, you may be getting more that raptor poo in your stocking.
On the fifth day of Me-mas Jesus Claus failed to bring for me
Five-Sigma evidence concerning God's existence,
four piece lingerie set,
three wishes,
two pounds of plutonium,
and a button-challenged beauty.

...

I have to tell you that Jesus Claus is in crisis. He wanted me to tell him who he really is. There is some kind of personality fragmentation occurring. Hilary tells me that this is normal during intense negotiations. But you should pray for Jesus Claus' soul, even if his existence is shaky and perhaps questionable. And Hayzeus, I know how to resolve the pain. Give us an update.

® Rusty Production
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

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Post by JesusClaus » Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:46 am

The 12 days of Me-mas continue.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not sin....

But I am puzzled by the reaction to this thread. Jesus Claus and his Me-mas is genius. Pure genius. - Rusty

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