A Brief History of CPS Time

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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hugodrax
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Re: A Brief History of CPS Time

Post by hugodrax » Thu Jan 25, 2018 11:38 pm

The Ap-Honk-Rypha of the Winged Beast of the Desert

The Hatching of the WIngéd Beast of the Desert.

In the beginning there was derping, but comparatively little derping, and the derping was dealt with by the Lord Mods, but the derping was not of the Lord Mods.

While he was in the world, yet the world knew him not, at least not the world of Christian Pipe Smokers. He came to the desert, prematurely retired, with the world of CPS not knowing of him yet. 

For the law was given by Tony McCaillie, and passed on to Munkey, and, for the most part, peace and justice reigned in the world of the internets.

And this is the testimony of Del* (certain experts in the texts believe that this was the Del known and beloved of the OT of CPS; yet others believe it to be a later work of Del the Revelator or possibly Zeitguy.).

He confessed that the term "Delsplaining" was irritating to him, and that he was as of the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, "look out, for one is coming that will explain your beliefs to you in such a manner as to make you pine and weep for the good old days when all you had to deal with was me."

"I Delsplain with poorly expressed words, but among you will type one whom you do not yet know, even he who comes after me, one whose pipe I am unworthy to fill."

This took place in the wilds of Wiss Kon Sin beyond the lakes, where Del was Delsplaining. And his garments were utilikilts and t-shirts, and his meat was bratwurst and pedestrian cheese, you betcha.

The next day he saw the Winged Beast of the Desert approaching in a vision, and he said, "Behold, the Wingéd Beast of the Desert, who bringeth forth the Endlessly Self-Referential Law unto Itself of All Things Gleaned from the Book of Messages." 

And Del bore witness, "I saw the Orb of Ajo descend upon his head and remain on him. This is he who will see all things through his own eyes only."

And the Winged Beast of the Desert found himself hatched from a steel egg descended from the sky into a desert town in the Western part of the nation, blown there by the winds of premature retirement. And boredom overtook him so that he went to a local inn and said to the serving girl: "Lo, I am bored. What shall I do?"
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

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UncleBob
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Re: A Brief History of CPS Time

Post by UncleBob » Fri Jan 26, 2018 12:29 pm

Selah Excursus: Pipesmoker's Hell

(To the tune of "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC)

[Guitar Solo]

Postin' easy
Postin' free
Same pipe from my eBay list
Sayin' nothing
Leave me be
Typing somethin' with my fist
Don't need reason
Don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I’d rather do
Goin' on
Postin' time
Cat vids are gonna be there too..

[Chorus]

I’m making Pipesmoker's hell
In Pipesmoker's hell
Pipesmoker's hell
I’m making Pipesmoker's hell

No stop signs
Post limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel
Gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna run me aground
Hey Hugo
Squirtin' my Dawn
Drying in the Ajo sun
Hey Draxy
Look at me
I’m on my way to a forum run

[Chorus]

I’m making Pipesmoker's hell
In Pipesmoker's hell
Pipesmoker's hell
I’m making Pipesmoker's hell

[Guitar Solo]


[Chorus]

I’m making Pipesmoker's hell
In Pipesmoker's hell
Pipesmoker's hell
I’m making Pipesmoker's hell
(Pipesmoker's hell) I'm making Pipesmoker's hell
(Pipesmoker's hell) Pipesmoker's hell
(Pipesmoker's hell) Pipesmoker's hell
(Pipesmoker's hell)

[Outro]
And it's going down
All the way
I'm making Pipesmoker's hell

Fin
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"You guys are weird." - Mrs. FredS

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Jocose
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Re: A Brief History of CPS Time

Post by Jocose » Fri Jan 26, 2018 2:23 pm

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"The Guacamole yoda was life changing " ~ John-Boy

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