How about a joke thread?

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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CodeMonkey
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Apr 17, 2020 11:16 pm

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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John-Boy
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Sat Apr 18, 2020 2:09 pm

Jocose wrote:
Fri Apr 17, 2020 12:40 pm
John-Boy wrote:
Fri Apr 17, 2020 12:32 pm
Jocose wrote:
Fri Apr 17, 2020 12:28 pm
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Benton629 » Sat Apr 18, 2020 2:19 pm

Gesundheit

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:09 am

Knock knock
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Bloodhound » Wed Apr 29, 2020 3:25 pm

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?







Because with pterodactyls, the "P" is silent.
Scott ( aka - Thor )
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Thu Apr 30, 2020 12:09 pm

Jocose wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:09 am
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:46 pm

John-Boy wrote:
Thu Apr 30, 2020 12:09 pm
Jocose wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:09 am
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Deja
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by John-Boy » Thu Apr 30, 2020 5:36 pm

Deja who?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Thu Apr 30, 2020 7:05 pm

John-Boy wrote:
Thu Apr 30, 2020 5:36 pm
Deja who?
Knock knock.

























get it? When I said "knock knock" it was like a Déjà vu
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by CodeMonkey » Thu Apr 30, 2020 8:58 pm

Image
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by JimVH » Fri May 22, 2020 10:08 pm

My boss asked me to name two things that hold water. I was like, “Well, dam”.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Hovannes » Sat May 23, 2020 12:00 pm

Atom-1: I just lost an electron!
Atom-2: Are you sure?
Atom-1: Yes I'm sure . . .I am positive!

A tachyon and a chronoton walk into a bar...
The bartender says "Haven't I seen you here before?"
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Re: How about a joke thread?

Post by Jocose » Sat May 23, 2020 5:39 pm

Image
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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