How about a joke thread?
- CodeMonkey
- A.K.A. Sigmund Freud
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Re: How about a joke thread?
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
- John-Boy
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Hatch who?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
- Benton629
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Gesundheit
- Jocose
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Knock knock
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
- Bloodhound
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because with pterodactyls, the "P" is silent.
Because with pterodactyls, the "P" is silent.
Scott ( aka - Thor )
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD
- John-Boy
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
- Jocose
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Deja
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
- John-Boy
- I'm a lover and I'm a sinner
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Deja who?
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
And when I am sitting on my new saddle, I will know that my weight is resting upon the collective minds of CPS - GaryinVa
- Jocose
- a very large Chinese lizard man named Wu
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Knock knock.
get it? When I said "knock knock" it was like a Déjà vu
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
- CodeMonkey
- A.K.A. Sigmund Freud
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Re: How about a joke thread?

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
- JimVH
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Re: How about a joke thread?
My boss asked me to name two things that hold water. I was like, “Well, dam”.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
- Hovannes
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Atom-1: I just lost an electron!
Atom-2: Are you sure?
Atom-1: Yes I'm sure . . .I am positive!
A tachyon and a chronoton walk into a bar...
The bartender says "Haven't I seen you here before?"
Atom-2: Are you sure?
Atom-1: Yes I'm sure . . .I am positive!
A tachyon and a chronoton walk into a bar...
The bartender says "Haven't I seen you here before?"
DEUS VULT!
- Jocose
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Re: How about a joke thread?

"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
- ReverendThom
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Re: How about a joke thread?
How many immature people does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler]
YER MOM
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[spoiler]
YER MOM
[/spoiler]
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"Pipe smokers used to be among the smartest people walking around. It's not true anymore." - Rusty
- Sir Moose
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Re: How about a joke thread?
You may want to double-check how to use the spoiler feature.ReverendThom wrote: ↑Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:52 pmHow many immature people does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler]
YER MOM
[/spoiler]
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In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
- Craft
- Usher
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Don't get it.
A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?
“I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” - A. Victoria
- Jocose
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Re: How about a joke thread?
It takes a little life experience to figure this one out, that or hearing the old jokes once or twice.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
"This thread makes me sad." ~ SlowToke
"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55
- Craft
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Nothing to do with bar-mitzvah right?
“I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” - A. Victoria
- Sir Moose
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Re: How about a joke thread?
The correct phrasing is "a bishop, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar...."
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
- Craft
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Re: How about a joke thread?
Oh.... how cheesy...Sir Moose wrote: ↑Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:39 pmThe correct phrasing is "a bishop, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar...."
“I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” - A. Victoria