How about a joke thread?

[CodeMonkey]

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

[John-Boy]

Knock knock..

Who's there?

Hatch

Hatch who?

[Benton629]

Gesundheit

[Jocose]

Knock knock

[Bloodhound]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?







Because with pterodactyls, the "P" is silent.

[John-Boy]

Knock knock

Who’s there?

[Jocose]

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Deja

[John-Boy]

Deja who?

[Jocose]

Deja who?

Knock knock.

























get it? When I said "knock knock" it was like a Déjà vu

[CodeMonkey]

[JimVH]

My boss asked me to name two things that hold water. I was like, “Well, dam”.

[Hovannes]

Atom-1: I just lost an electron!
Atom-2: Are you sure?
Atom-1: Yes I'm sure . . .I am positive!

A tachyon and a chronoton walk into a bar...
The bartender says "Haven't I seen you here before?"

[Jocose]

[ReverendThom]

How many immature people does it take to change a lightbulb?

[spoiler]
YER MOM

[/spoiler]

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[Sir Moose]

How many immature people does it take to change a lightbulb?

[spoiler]
YER MOM

[/spoiler]

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► Show Spoiler

The way you did it isn't working.

[Craft]

Don't get it.

A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?

[Jocose]

Don't get it.

A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?

It takes a little life experience to figure this one out, that or hearing the old jokes once or twice.

[Craft]

Don't get it.

A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?

It takes a little life experience to figure this one out, that or hearing the old jokes once or twice.

Nothing to do with bar-mitzvah right?

[Sir Moose]

Don't get it.

A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?

It takes a little life experience to figure this one out, that or hearing the old jokes once or twice.

Nothing to do with bar-mitzvah right?

The correct phrasing is "a bishop, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar...."

[Craft]

Don't get it.

A bishop, a rabbi, and a priest all hit their heads on a bar. What's the joke?

It takes a little life experience to figure this one out, that or hearing the old jokes once or twice.

Nothing to do with bar-mitzvah right?

The correct phrasing is "a bishop, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar...."

Oh.... how cheesy...