Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
- Skip
- Everything in Moderatoration
- Posts: 24183
- Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
- Location: Slightly East of Pepik
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
You gonna eat that?
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"
2017 Curmudgeon of the Year
"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley
2017 Curmudgeon of the Year
"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley
- beagle_fan
- Congregation
- Posts: 84
- Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:59 pm
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
Of course the ever-popular redneck mantra: "I got this, hold my beer!"
- Sir Moose
- CPS Curry Chef
- Posts: 4332
- Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:17 am
- Location: NW Washington (not Canada)
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
My eyes were really dry. I said, "I've got really dry eyeballs. That's right, I've got dryballs."
My daughter just looked at me and said, "Just...quit...talking."
My daughter just looked at me and said, "Just...quit...talking."
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
- JimVH
- Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
- Posts: 26639
- Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
That made my afternoon.Sir Moose wrote:My eyes were really dry. I said, "I've got really dry eyeballs. That's right, I've got dryballs."
My daughter just looked at me and said, "Just...quit...talking."
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
- fiddlestix
- Brother of the Briar
- Posts: 1552
- Joined: Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:00 pm
- Location: Missouri
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
My mother taught high school geometry and the year my twin brother was in her class she sat at the overhead projector one day and drew a circumscribed triangle but referred to it as a circumsized triangle. He thought that was fun...
She is as proper a woman as you've ever met and I've never heard a foul word intentionally come out of her mouth, but she was born and raised in south Louisiana and she would get so excited everytime it snowed. One day she was standing at the back window watching it snow and observing how slowly the traffic was moving on the interstate behind our house when she shouted for us all to come look. "A truck just jacked off on the interstate!!" All of us kids looked at each other and tried to find a polite way to tell her the phrase she was looking for was jack-knifed. Oh my, she would kill me if she knew I was posting that story.
She is as proper a woman as you've ever met and I've never heard a foul word intentionally come out of her mouth, but she was born and raised in south Louisiana and she would get so excited everytime it snowed. One day she was standing at the back window watching it snow and observing how slowly the traffic was moving on the interstate behind our house when she shouted for us all to come look. "A truck just jacked off on the interstate!!" All of us kids looked at each other and tried to find a polite way to tell her the phrase she was looking for was jack-knifed. Oh my, she would kill me if she knew I was posting that story.
- JimVH
- Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
- Posts: 26639
- Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
Advice from the HR guy:
Quitting your job publicly, announcing it on social media, and then later trying to pass it off as an April Fools joke will not enhance your career growth.
Quitting your job publicly, announcing it on social media, and then later trying to pass it off as an April Fools joke will not enhance your career growth.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
- DepartedLight
- Archfairy of Carolinia
- Posts: 31616
- Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
"I do."
- durangopipe
- The Goat Fairy
- Posts: 9040
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
- Location: Southwest Colorado
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
"It's nice to see you and your mother" to a guy and his wife.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- durangopipe
- The Goat Fairy
- Posts: 9040
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
- Location: Southwest Colorado
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
LOVE this one!She is as proper a woman as you've ever met and I've never heard a foul word intentionally come out of her mouth, but she was born and raised in south Louisiana and she would get so excited everytime it snowed. One day she was standing at the back window watching it snow and observing how slowly the traffic was moving on the interstate behind our house when she shouted for us all to come look. "A truck just jacked off on the interstate!!" All of us kids looked at each other and tried to find a polite way to tell her the phrase she was looking for was jack-knifed. Oh my, she would kill me if she knew I was posting that story.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- JimVH
- Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
- Posts: 26639
- Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said

"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
- JimVH
- Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
- Posts: 26639
- Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
My wife called while I was at the lunch table with coworkers today. She suggested that we stay the night at a cat-owning family member's house on an upcoming trip. I blurted out, "No, honey, I will not spend the night at a cat house."
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo
- DepartedLight
- Archfairy of Carolinia
- Posts: 31616
- Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- dasmokeryaget
- Guitar Hero
- Posts: 12441
- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:00 pm
- Location: Gentry Arkinsaw
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
I was best man at my uncle's wedding. My cousin, his son was running video camera to record ceremony.
Me: Art, this woman scares the hell out of me.
Art: You? She's gonna be my step mother. Lady's a freak show.
Art had already hit "record"
Me: Art, this woman scares the hell out of me.
Art: You? She's gonna be my step mother. Lady's a freak show.
Art had already hit "record"
- DepartedLight
- Archfairy of Carolinia
- Posts: 31616
- Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
Awesome. Art gets the bigger hit. Well done.dasmokeryaget wrote: ↑Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:02 pmI was best man at my uncle's wedding. My cousin, his son was running video camera to record ceremony.
Me: Art, this woman scares the hell out of me.
Art: You? She's gonna be my step mother. Lady's a freak show.
Art had already hit "record"
- hugodrax
- Happy with JimVH
- Posts: 23857
- Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
- Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
What I said to Jo haunts me.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth
—Marcus Aurelius
non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam
—Marcus Aurelius
non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam
- DepartedLight
- Archfairy of Carolinia
- Posts: 31616
- Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
Did you say the L word and he didn’t reciprocate?
- Fainn
- Master's of fArts
- Posts: 7367
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
- Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
Lol
Sent from my SM-J337A using Tapatalk
Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, but mine is the best.
- Fainn
- Master's of fArts
- Posts: 7367
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
- Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
I went to a messianic synagogue a few times where I said I was newish and looking to convert to Newdyism which sounded way too close to nudism whe I said it out loud.
Sent from my SM-J337A using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-J337A using Tapatalk
Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, but mine is the best.
- durangopipe
- The Goat Fairy
- Posts: 9040
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
- Location: Southwest Colorado
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
I guess you’re in the doghouse now.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- Cleon
- Walmart Cargo Short Model
- Posts: 15849
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Indiana - South of 40
- Contact:
Re: Things I Wish I Hadn't Said
In high school I was a bagger\stocker at grocery store. Once, in the middle of summer, I carried an older woman's groceries to her car and she popped the trunk for me to load them. Her trunk was filled with wrapped Christmas presents. I said, "Getting and early start, huh?" She replied, "Yes. The doctor said I might not make it to Christmas."
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" - Jesus
"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG
"Dang, a pipe slap." - JimVH
"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG
"Dang, a pipe slap." - JimVH