Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 11:27 am

I hate mowing the lawn. Hate. It. Oh, I do it because the kids and I like hanging out in the back yard (Mrs. UB not so much) but I still loathe it. Now, I recognize that there are some poor, misguided wretches in this world that do enjoy it but I reserve the same abject pity for them that I normally apply to other deluded sots such as those who root for the Dallas Cowboys or honestly believe that anything cooked using a Traeger Grill™ is actually bbq. You know of whom I write.

Seriously, though. It is a chore. Why do the old yuppies on my block water and fertilize their lawns? Numbnuts every one! What would you do if you came home and found you significant other spreading dirt on the carpet so they could get an even vacuuming job? Madness!

Anyways, post your mowing preferences here.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
hugodrax
All Around Nice Guy
All Around Nice Guy
Posts: 16268
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by hugodrax » Sat Aug 05, 2017 11:37 am

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 11:27 am
I hate mowing the lawn. Hate. It. Oh, I do it because the kids and I like hanging out in the back yard (Mrs. UB not so much) but I still loathe it. Now, I recognize that there are some poor, misguided wretches in this world that do enjoy it but I reserve the same abject pity for them that I normally apply to other deluded sots such as those who root for the Dallas Cowboys or honestly believe that anything cooked using a Traeger Grill™ is actually bbq. You know of whom I write.

Seriously, though. It is a chore. Why do the old yuppies on my block water and fertilize their lawns? Numbnuts every one! What would you do if you came home and found you significant other spreading dirt on the carpet so they could get an even vacuuming job? Madness!

Anyways, post your mowing preferences here.
I'd prefer not to mow. It takes away from my garden.
Etiam mihi opinio anserem perirent.

User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 12:27 pm

The Yard Warrior™ is, once again, victorious.

That is all.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
Jocose
a large Chinese man named Wu
a large Chinese man named Wu
Posts: 20400
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Moonbase Alpha
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Jocose » Sat Aug 05, 2017 12:41 pm

I don't consider anything cooked on the Traeger BBQ but everything I've prepared on the Traeger has been DELICIOUS, as far as "mowing the lawn?" That sux.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS



Image

User avatar
durangopipe
Under-secretary to the Minister of Pipe Breaking
Under-secretary to the Minister of Pipe Breaking
Posts: 5281
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
Location: Southwest Colorado

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by durangopipe » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:05 pm

Jocose wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 12:41 pm
I don't consider anything cooked on the Traeger BBQ but everything I've prepared on the Traeger has been DELICIOUS, as far as "mowing the lawn?" That sux.
Mowing "The Lawn" sux - too many trees for the lawn tractor.
Mowing the "Turtle Lake Casting Club Casting Lawn" on the tractor is a joy.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:08 pm

The guy next door mows his lawn at least twice as often as I, and my grass grows nearly as fast as his. I like mowing only when it's so high that it looks like I've truly accomplished something when I'm done. Tomorrow, I will accomplish something.
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:09 pm

It sux because you need one of these:
Image
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:11 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:09 pm
It sux because you need one of these:
Image
Nah. I use that once or twice a season, if that. Unless it's really nice outside and I'm looking for an excuse to not work in the house.
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:13 pm

Skip wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:11 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:09 pm
It sux because you need one of these:
Image
Nah. I use that once or twice a season, if that. Unless it's really nice outside and I'm looking for an excuse to not work in the house.
In Lubbock <zederated> Texas, the weeds grow faster than grass, which is much more scarce anyway. Occasionally, one can spend about 15 minutes on weed work with no need to mow the grass.

Today was not one of those days, however.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:18 pm

Typical Lubbock lawns:
Image
Image
Image
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:19 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:13 pm
Skip wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:11 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:09 pm
It sux because you need one of these:
Image
Nah. I use that once or twice a season, if that. Unless it's really nice outside and I'm looking for an excuse to not work in the house.
In Lubbock <zederated> Texas, the weeds grow faster than grass, which is much more scarce anyway. Occasionally, one can spend about 15 minutes on weed work with no need to mow the grass.

Today was not one of those days, however.
I pulled ours out on Monday for the first time this year because I needed to edge the driveway before sealing. I might edge the sidewalk this coming week, basically because it's been gorgeous out and I'm looking for a low-pressure, low-sweat job that will get me outside.
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:19 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:18 pm
Typical Lubbock lawns:
Image
Image
Image
Really? There's green stuff there? Is that spray paint?
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

User avatar
UncleBob
CPS Theological Dogmatician
CPS Theological Dogmatician
Posts: 33754
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Lubbock, TX USA
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by UncleBob » Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:24 pm

Skip wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:19 pm
UncleBob wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:18 pm
Typical Lubbock lawns:
Image
Image
Image
Really? There's green stuff there? Is that spray paint?
LOL! Its not uncommon here for people to just give up and pave the yard. It's been raining here so right now my lawn looks green ad has actual, honest-to-goodness grass. However, most typically in August my yard looks like sand with weeds. SO I normally don't have to mow in August but I take the weed eater out every week to cut down the bastages. Often, they will still grow even when THEY are brownish!
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

User avatar
Cleon
Brother of the Briar
Brother of the Briar
Posts: 14319
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Indiana - South of 40
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Cleon » Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:01 pm

I abhor mowing the lawn. Fortunately, I have a wife who LOVES it and four of my children are old enough to do it as well. Therefore, it has been a few years since I have done any mowing. My wife always makes the yard look nice. I'd rather fix things.

I thank God.
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" - Jesus

"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG

"Dang, a pipe slap." - JimVH

User avatar
ReverendThom
A Mari Usque Ad Mare
A Mari Usque Ad Mare
Posts: 3344
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:08 am
Location: Winnipeg, MB
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by ReverendThom » Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Walking the dogs the other day I discovered that one of the neighbours has fake grass. Looks nice.

But I do enjoy cutting the grass. Good time for a pipe, too.
"Pipe smokers used to be among the smartest people walking around. It's not true anymore." - Rusty

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:43 pm

ReverendThom wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:10 pm
Walking the dogs the other day I discovered that one of the neighbours has fake grass. Looks nice.

But I do enjoy cutting the grass. Good time for a pipe, too.
I've tried smoking while mowing. Doesn't work for me. Neither with pipes nor cigars. I gave up.
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

User avatar
Rusty
In Memoriam
Posts: 25059
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Beelzebub's Rare Tobacco Emporium

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Rusty » Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:59 pm

Skip wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:43 pm
ReverendThom wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:10 pm
Walking the dogs the other day I discovered that one of the neighbours has fake grass. Looks nice.

But I do enjoy cutting the grass. Good time for a pipe, too.
I've tried smoking while mowing. Doesn't work for me. Neither with pipes nor cigars. I gave up.
Some canucks have robot lawnmowers and then they sit and smoke watching the robot. It's not quite as exhausting.

If you smoke while you push the lawnmower you may drop the pipe and it's almost guaranteed that you then run the pipe over or you step on it and break something. That's a bad day.

But otherwise mowing is so repetitive that you can think about other things. It's like a walk. Pick up the pipes on the lawn before you do this.
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

User avatar
Bloodhound
Cannot Abide That Devil Weed
Cannot Abide That Devil Weed
Posts: 7039
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: Rocky Mountains / Colorado
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Bloodhound » Sat Aug 05, 2017 9:44 pm

I mow once a week...I don't like it but it has to be done and I have to do it or pay someone to do it and since I want to continue buying pipes and tobacco and fly fishing gear...
Scott ( aka - Thor )
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD

User avatar
Roadmaster
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 12937
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:00 pm
Location: Missouri The Show-me State

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Roadmaster » Sun Aug 06, 2017 8:43 am

Kinda like mowing but also like driving and detailing vehicles.
Like to make things look nice, it is probably a curse.

User avatar
Skip
Everything in Moderatoration
Everything in Moderatoration
Posts: 24182
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Slightly East of Pepik
Contact:

Re: Mowing the <zederated> Lawn

Post by Skip » Sun Aug 06, 2017 12:33 pm

Skip wrote:
Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:08 pm
The guy next door mows his lawn at least twice as often as I, and my grass grows nearly as fast as his. I like mowing only when it's so high that it looks like I've truly accomplished something when I'm done. Tomorrow, I will accomplish something.
I accomplished something today.
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 Winner of the CPS Award: "Most Likely to be Found Without Pants at Any Given Moment"

2017 Curmudgeon of the Year

"No man is peer to Skip, peasant." -A_Morley

Post Reply