The Christmas I shot Mamaw

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Fainn
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The Christmas I shot Mamaw

Post by Fainn » Mon Dec 24, 2018 2:36 am

Mrs. Fainn thought I shouldn't post this on my blog, so here it is.

Mamaw married my grandfather but he died before I was born. My mother thought I should have some connection to my grandfather and she treated me and my sister as her own grandchildren .
At Thanksgiving when I was 5 years old, dad showed me and my sister a neat little trick. He stuck out his pointer finger and held up his thumb making a gun with his hand the way kids do. He then farted. Of course, being 5 years old I thought this was hilarious and proceeded to copy this move every chance I got over the next few weeks . Then Christmas came.
The kids always sat and ate at the counter while the adults sat around the table behind us. I finished my food and was about to be rewarded. I turned around, made my pistol and aimed at the unsuspecting group of adults who were my step relatives. I wasn't aiming at anyone in particular but Mamaw was also seated at the table. I then fired my weapon.
Everyone at the table started laughing except my mother. She was not amused . She also couldn't punish me since dad taught me that trick. I am 37 years old and my favorite Christmas memory is a fart. I told Mrs. Fainn that when Solomon is old enough, the tradition will continue .


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John-Boy
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Re: The Christmas I shot Mamaw

Post by John-Boy » Mon Dec 24, 2018 4:27 am

Hallelujah
Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG
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Goose55
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Re: The Christmas I shot Mamaw

Post by Goose55 » Mon Dec 24, 2018 7:56 am

That would have been a good scene to have put in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
"At present we're on the wrong side of the door. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so." ~ C.S. Lewis

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Hovannes
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Re: The Christmas I shot Mamaw

Post by Hovannes » Wed Dec 26, 2018 5:41 pm

Ahhhh, the glories of Christmas long, long ago.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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