2019 Calandar

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:25 am

Where do cars get the most flat tires?

Where there is a fork in the road.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:25 am

My son just threw a milk carton at me. How dairy?

smokadoro
Tribe Member
Tribe Member
Posts: 132
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:33 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by smokadoro » Tue Sep 17, 2019 7:44 pm

My kids are at just the right ages to appreciate these very much! We have a lot of fun around the dinner table. Unfortunately we're all caught up.

:whistling:
Do not say "I agree," "I disagree" or "I suspend judgment" until you can say "I understand." ~Mortimer Adler

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:29 am

Sorry for not being faithful in my Calendar postings.

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom? Odor in the court!

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:29 am

Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn't be more delighted.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:31 am

Why is it easy for chicks to talk? Because talk is cheep!

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:31 am

Atoms are untrustworthy little things. They make up everything.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:32 am

What is a mouse's favorite game? Hide and squeak!

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:32 am

What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:33 am

Did you see that fight between film actors? It was Star Wars!

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:34 am

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:35 am

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:36 am

Where did the piglets study their ABCs? At a school for higher loining.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:37 am

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:39 am

Stairs cannot be trusted. They're always up to something.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:40 am

How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:43 am

If goods become damaged in transport, do they become bads?

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:44 am

What does a cloud do when it gets an itch? It finds the nearest skyscraper.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:45 am

My ex misses me, but her aim is improving.

User avatar
Winton
Minister of Dad Jokes
Minister of Dad Jokes
Posts: 1552
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:46 am

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he heard time flies.

Post Reply