2019 Calandar

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:31 pm

Why was the robber so secure?

He was a safe robber.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:31 pm

I have a hard time trusting trees. They seem kind of shady.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:32 pm

What did one eye say to the other eye?

"Between you and me, something smells."

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:33 pm

I think I want to quit my job. I'd rather clean mirrors for a living. It's just something I can see myself doing.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:34 pm

"Dad, will you hand me my sunglasses?"

"As soon as you hand me my dadglasses, son."

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:35 pm

I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I 'm a faux pa.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:35 pm

What is a pig's favorite Shakespeare play?

Hamlet.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun May 12, 2019 2:36 pm

What do you call a small parent? A minimum!

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Del
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Del » Sun May 12, 2019 7:45 pm

Winton wrote:
Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:14 pm
What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy.
I used to have waves of hair.

Now, it's just beach.
"Utter frogshit from start to finish." - Onyx

"I shall not wear a crown of gold where my Master wore a crown of thorns." - Godfrey de Bouillon

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:22 am

I told my doctor that I always get heartburn when I eat birthday cake. He said I should take the candles off first.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:23 am

Dad, are you going to take a bath?

No, I'm leaving it where it is.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:23 am

What do you call a cat who eats lemons?

A sourpuss!

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:24 am

My landlord has been telling me that he feels inadequate lately. I wonder if he has a complex.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:25 am

Why did the monster see a psychiatrist?

He felt abominable.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:26 am

I bought the thesaurus I've always wanted, but when I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:27 am

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?

A ducktor.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:27 am

I used to be a member of a secret cooking society, but they kicked me out for spilling the beans.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:28 am

Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:29 am

I was going to tell you a pizza joke, but it's way too cheesy.

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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:30 am

Why did the police officer cry over a ticket?

It was a moving violation.

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