2019 Calandar

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:30 am

I kept feeding money into the change machine yesterday, but nothing changed.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:31 am

What is sticky and brown?

A stick.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue May 28, 2019 5:31 am

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker!

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:23 am

I wanted to wear my camo pants today, but I couldn't find them.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:24 am

Why did the rabbits go on strike?

They wanted a better celery.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:25 am

I was a doctor for a while, but then I quit. Not enough patience.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:25 am

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:26 am

A man was admitted into the hospital because he swallowed eight plastic horses. His condition is now stable.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:27 am

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Lunch is on me.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:27 am

Ireland's capital is the fastest growing city. Every year it's Dublin.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:29 am

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:30 am

My printer should be playing music because it says the paper is jamming again.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:30 am

How did the hipster burn his toungue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool!

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:31 am

Did you hear about the fortuneteller's vacation? She went to Palm Beach.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:32 am

What do you call a tube with a degree?

A graduated cylinder.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:32 am

You're a vegetarian?

I think that's a big missed steak.

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Del
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Del » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:25 pm

Winton wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:26 am
A man was admitted into the hospital because he swallowed eight plastic horses. His condition is now stable.
Made me laugh....
Winton wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:30 am
How did the hipster burn his toungue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool!
.... sprayed coffee on the screen.
REMEMBER THE KAVANAUGH!

You can safely ignore those California warnings. Just sayin'...

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:37 pm

Sorry about your screen, Del.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:12 pm

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment!

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:13 pm

Tow satellites got married on Saturday. The reception was fantastic.

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