TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Stanley76
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Stanley76 » Wed Dec 09, 2020 6:37 pm

Stupid stinking pipes with airways that are slightly off where the stem and shank join so you have to be a skilled locksmith to stick a freaking pipe cleaner down it.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by BeefyG » Thu Dec 10, 2020 7:44 am

Stanley76 wrote:Stupid stinking pipes with airways that are slightly off where the stem and shank join so you have to be a skilled locksmith to stick a freaking pipe cleaner down it.
I find sticking my tongue out one side of my mouth helps.

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by BeefyG » Thu Dec 10, 2020 7:49 am

Not getting enough sleep. Due to a trip to the ER last night (false alarm, everyone is fine) I’m running on 2 hours sleep today. Today is going to pull major vacuum.

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Mon Dec 14, 2020 12:49 pm

My email is already in their system, but can't be found when I request a new password.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Tue Dec 15, 2020 10:12 pm

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by AFRS » Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:33 am

Fainn wrote:
Tue Dec 15, 2020 10:12 pm
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With whom?

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:10 pm

AFRS wrote:
Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:33 am
Fainn wrote:
Tue Dec 15, 2020 10:12 pm
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With whom?
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Wed Dec 16, 2020 11:05 pm

Knives and scissor in packages that you need a knife or scissors to open.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Sat Dec 19, 2020 1:11 am

After paying off all my cards, I had to use one to get shoes because I hit my toes at least once a day on something. I hope the hiring process is swift.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Stanley76 » Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:21 pm

Riding a narrow saddle racing bicycle while nude.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by JimVH » Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:20 pm

Stanley76 wrote:
Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:21 pm
Riding a narrow saddle racing bicycle while nude.
It probably chaps your neighbors, too.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Sun Dec 20, 2020 5:09 pm

The Naughty channels are more likely to lead to repentence than the Inspiration Network.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by DepartedLight » Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:10 pm

This is more of an annoyance than a full blown ass-chap.

Stopped into my favorite taco place on the way home for a couple street tacos and a Modelo Dark with lime. No chips, no beans & Rice, no extra beer. They always have soccer or cage fights from Mexico on the TV.

I pop in about 4 maybe 4:30. A couple was at the bar on the side by the wall. Perfect. 3 empty seats down and me. Ordered everything sat back and watch cage fighting. Couple's meal arrives, they got the chips and salsa option.

They are politely bending up. Oh this is too hot. What's this one?

Sip Modelo, lean into the TV screen.

They finally settle into eating instead of complaining.

My tacos arrived promptly and delicious, as always.

I'm milking my stay to see the main event on TV. I mean I don't see a lot of cage fighting so, why not? I'm about halfway finished and the main event starts. The couple begins to politely bend up about their bill.

Of course, I say in my head and try to focus on the fight, and a bite of taco every now and then.

In one minute and thirty seconds the Main Event ended with a serious KO.

I finish off my taco and beer. And am waiting for the check so I can leave and live the rest of my life.

Quiet Mr & Mrs Karen are now in full swing.

They wanted the food on one tab and the booze on another. Oh ok, no problem. Here you are. Now questioning their bar tab. What is this ten dollar drink? The double Long Island Iced Tea. What's this dollar charge? You ordered a shot of tequila and we only charged you a dollar for it. Oh.

Oh. He actually said, "Oh." I'm thinking cool, they are done and I'll let my guy know to check me out.

No.

Now it's why didn't we get a free meal with this BS app coupon on Mrs Karen's "phone"? That's the only reason we came here was for the free meal. My bar man has gotta go to the owner of course so I'm sitting there wanting to leave. I wasn't sure of my tab to drop cash and walk away.

I get up and go to the register by the door. Carry out guy is paying without any questions or problems. He finished and Mr. Karen steps up behind me in line. Bar keep is pulling register duty too. Hey, man. You check me out? Tacos and a beer Oh yeah, your total is (smaller than I thought) i gave about twice the amount and said, keep the change.

I did NOT turn and glare at Mr. Karen Coupon. But I really wanted to.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Del » Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:25 pm

DepartedLight wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:10 pm
I did NOT turn and glare at Mr. Karen Coupon. But I really wanted to.
karens are most chap-worthy.

This thread started before karens were invented, I believe. Now they are everywhere.
G.K. Chesterton — 'It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.'

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Stanley76 » Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:17 pm

Del wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:25 pm
DepartedLight wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:10 pm
I did NOT turn and glare at Mr. Karen Coupon. But I really wanted to.
karens are most chap-worthy.

This thread started before karens were invented, I believe. Now they are everywhere.
Karens are aggravating, especially the male ones. There is a tiny little town about 12 miles East of me named Bath. It's nice quiet little town on Bath Creek where Blackbeard lived at one time. My buddy John owned and Italian restaurant (now shut down forever due to Covid) in an old house with a deck over looking the creek, great NYC style pizzas and beer.

One day a male Karen berated one of the young waitress (about 17 years old) to the point that she broke down sobbing. I wasn't there or I would have intervened. John the owner came out to discuss the situation with the male Karen. Now, John is an Italian from NYC, a former Navy Corpsman and a retired railroad engineer. He doesn't play. He walked over to the guy, grabbed his pizza and frisbee threw it out in the street. Then he discussed the Karen's behavior and requested that he leave the premise. Like I said I wasn't there but the regulars told me it was rather loud. Reportedly all the regulars applauded when they Karen left. LOL.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Del » Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:27 pm

Losing a weekend to a damned head cold. I had chores and Christmas shopping to do.

Can't appear in public with a cough or sneeze.... people act like you have leprosy.
G.K. Chesterton — 'It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.'

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:08 am

Stanley76 wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:17 pm
Del wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:25 pm
DepartedLight wrote:
Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:10 pm
I did NOT turn and glare at Mr. Karen Coupon. But I really wanted to.
karens are most chap-worthy.

This thread started before karens were invented, I believe. Now they are everywhere.
Karens are aggravating, especially the male ones. There is a tiny little town about 12 miles East of me named Bath. It's nice quiet little town on Bath Creek where Blackbeard lived at one time. My buddy John owned and Italian restaurant (now shut down forever due to Covid) in an old house with a deck over looking the creek, great NYC style pizzas and beer.

One day a male Karen berated one of the young waitress (about 17 years old) to the point that she broke down sobbing. I wasn't there or I would have intervened. John the owner came out to discuss the situation with the male Karen. Now, John is an Italian from NYC, a former Navy Corpsman and a retired railroad engineer. He doesn't play. He walked over to the guy, grabbed his pizza and frisbee threw it out in the street. Then he discussed the Karen's behavior and requested that he leave the premise. Like I said I wasn't there but the regulars told me it was rather loud. Reportedly all the regulars applauded when they Karen left. LOL.
Pipe.
Last edited by Fainn on Mon Dec 21, 2020 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by hugodrax » Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:17 am

Stanley76 wrote:
Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:21 pm
Riding a narrow saddle racing bicycle while nude.
Complainer.

Wosbald took the saddle off his bike and he’s never been happier. :D
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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:01 am

Jesus didn't say people will know we are his disciples:
by not drinking
by not smoking
by listening to K-Love 24/7
by reading the Bible in the original Greek and Hebrew
by speaking in tonugues
by erecting at 12 ft cross in our yard

but that we love each other as he has loved us.
Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, but mine is the best.

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Re: TTCMA: Things That Chap My Ass

Post by Fainn » Fri Dec 25, 2020 11:58 am

Not one of you bastards gave me an SG this Christmas.
Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, but mine is the best.

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