Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
User avatar
gaining_age
Ph.D. of LaTeX
Ph.D. of LaTeX
Posts: 18588
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: sun soaked Arizona

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by gaining_age » Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:29 am

Just a 20 second conversation with my wife.... on the edge of political and SNL


Me: Some people are really concerned the DT would want to run in 2024.. the dude is 74, do you really think Americans would vote for some 78 year old to start office?

Me does a quick check.... President Elect Joe Biden is 78.

Me: <in the voice of Gilda Radner-- >
Image


<I laughed at myself>
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

User avatar
durangopipe
The Goat Fairy
The Goat Fairy
Posts: 9019
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
Location: Southwest Colorado

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by durangopipe » Thu Jan 14, 2021 11:47 am

Image
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year

User avatar
JimVH
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Posts: 26621
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by JimVH » Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:17 pm

durangopipe wrote:
Thu Jan 14, 2021 11:47 am
Image
Extra points for being funny and disturbing.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo

User avatar
Roadmaster
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Posts: 14400
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:00 pm
Location: Missouri The Show-me State

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Roadmaster » Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:12 pm


User avatar
Roadmaster
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Posts: 14400
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:00 pm
Location: Missouri The Show-me State

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Roadmaster » Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:31 pm

CAUTION BAD LANGUAGE


User avatar
JimVH
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Posts: 26621
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by JimVH » Thu Jan 14, 2021 5:23 pm

Roadmaster wrote:
Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:31 pm
CAUTION BAD LANGUAGE

That was a great movie.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo

User avatar
Bloodhound
Loves Nickel Bands
Loves Nickel Bands
Posts: 10912
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: Rocky Mountains / Colorado
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Bloodhound » Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:47 pm

BeefyG wrote:
Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:19 am
A drunk man enters a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender tells him he can’t serve him if he’s drunk so the guy leaves. The drunk man comes back but this time he’s giving a woman a piggy back ride. The bartender tells him “Look, I already told you I can’t serve you if you’re drunk.” The drunk replies “I’m not drunk, I’m a turtle.” He points to the woman on his back and says “See, this is Michelle.”
I had to read it 3 times before I got it...yup I am not the sharpest tool in the shed :wavey:
Scott ( aka - Thor )
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD

User avatar
JimVH
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Posts: 26621
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by JimVH » Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:57 pm

Bloodhound wrote:
Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:47 pm
BeefyG wrote:
Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:19 am
A drunk man enters a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender tells him he can’t serve him if he’s drunk so the guy leaves. The drunk man comes back but this time he’s giving a woman a piggy back ride. The bartender tells him “Look, I already told you I can’t serve you if you’re drunk.” The drunk replies “I’m not drunk, I’m a turtle.” He points to the woman on his back and says “See, this is Michelle.”
I had to read it 3 times before I got it...yup I am not the sharpest tool in the shed :wavey:
It took me a second, too. I gave him a bonus point.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo

User avatar
BeefyG
Usher
Usher
Posts: 403
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:04 pm

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by BeefyG » Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:43 pm

It wasn’t my best work. This one isn’t much better.
Image

User avatar
BeefyG
Usher
Usher
Posts: 403
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:04 pm

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by BeefyG » Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:53 pm

Image

User avatar
BeefyG
Usher
Usher
Posts: 403
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:04 pm

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by BeefyG » Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:56 pm

Image

User avatar
Roadmaster
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Fan of Dr. Buttcrack
Posts: 14400
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:00 pm
Location: Missouri The Show-me State

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Roadmaster » Fri Jan 15, 2021 6:21 pm

BeefyG wrote:
Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:53 pm
Image
Strategically placed fig leaves and quote box.

User avatar
Bloodhound
Loves Nickel Bands
Loves Nickel Bands
Posts: 10912
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: Rocky Mountains / Colorado
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Bloodhound » Sat Jan 16, 2021 3:58 pm

BeefyG wrote:
Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:53 pm
Image

This one made me laugh out loud :lol:
Scott ( aka - Thor )
Do Justice...Love Mercy...Walk Humbly With Your GOD

User avatar
JimVH
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Posts: 26621
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by JimVH » Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:10 pm

In a couple of days I will declare this contest dead and award not one, not two, but three prizes complete with surprise enhancements.

This is your last chance to wow me.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo

User avatar
tuttle
Tomnoddy Attercop
Tomnoddy Attercop
Posts: 15838
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Middle-west
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by tuttle » Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:29 pm

JimVH wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:10 pm
I will...award not one, not two, but three prizes complete with surprise enhancements.

This is your last chance to wow me.
I'm going to give this speech to my wife tonight.
"The Evangelium has not abrogated legends; it has hallowed them" -JRR Tolkien

"Better to die cheerfully with the aid of a little tobacco, than to live disagreeably and remorseful without." -CS Lewis

User avatar
hugodrax
Happy with JimVH
Happy with JimVH
Posts: 23857
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by hugodrax » Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:49 pm

I miss tuttle.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth
—Marcus Aurelius

non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam

User avatar
Stanley76
CPS Man-at-Arms
CPS Man-at-Arms
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2019 6:50 pm
Location: Pungo River NC

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by Stanley76 » Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:11 pm

My go to joke:

A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

User avatar
durangopipe
The Goat Fairy
The Goat Fairy
Posts: 9019
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
Location: Southwest Colorado

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by durangopipe » Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:11 pm

tuttle wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:29 pm
JimVH wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:10 pm
I will...award not one, not two, but three prizes complete with surprise enhancements.

This is your last chance to wow me.
I'm going to give this speech to my wife tonight.
:rotfl:
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year

User avatar
tuttle
Tomnoddy Attercop
Tomnoddy Attercop
Posts: 15838
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Middle-west
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by tuttle » Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:13 pm

durangopipe wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:11 pm
tuttle wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:29 pm
JimVH wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:10 pm
I will...award not one, not two, but three prizes complete with surprise enhancements.

This is your last chance to wow me.
I'm going to give this speech to my wife tonight.
:rotfl:
That's the reaction I anticipate.
"The Evangelium has not abrogated legends; it has hallowed them" -JRR Tolkien

"Better to die cheerfully with the aid of a little tobacco, than to live disagreeably and remorseful without." -CS Lewis

User avatar
JimVH
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Boop Totesadorbs' Dad
Posts: 26621
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Make Me Laugh - A Contest with a Coveted Prize

Post by JimVH » Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:24 pm

tuttle wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:13 pm
durangopipe wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 3:11 pm
tuttle wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:29 pm
JimVH wrote:
Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:10 pm
I will...award not one, not two, but three prizes complete with surprise enhancements.

This is your last chance to wow me.
I'm going to give this speech to my wife tonight.
:rotfl:
That's the reaction I anticipate.
Bonus point for the follow-up chuckle.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"Your boos mean nothing. I see what you cheer." Kevin Sorbo

Post Reply