Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
User avatar
coco
Uniquely Duggish
Uniquely Duggish
Posts: 29336
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:27 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:19 pm
So my middle child, o figlia del mio cuore, handed me the shopping bag strategically so I just picked up the dog's duty with my bare fingers. Oh, how she laughed.

Looking back on this, it was actually pretty funny. I don't regret having killed her, though.
:lol:
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
"No more signatures that quote other CPS members." - Thunk

User avatar
Sir Moose
President Jar-Jar Binks fan club: "Meesa tink he da best!" - Perpetually in Trouble
President Jar-Jar Binks fan club: "Meesa tink he da best!" - Perpetually in Trouble
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:17 am
Location: NW Washington (not Canada)
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Sir Moose » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am

Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

User avatar
Cleon
The Mad Hatter
The Mad Hatter
Posts: 15113
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Indiana - South of 40
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Cleon » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:47 am

Sir Moose wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am
Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
It wasn't suspicion. He was just hungry.
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" - Jesus

"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG

"Dang, a pipe slap." - JimVH

User avatar
FredS
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
Posts: 22190
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:59 am

FredS wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 am
I resolve to not reply to Uncle Bob or NoaM in the opt in threads. No matter how wrong they are.

We shall see.
Let the record show I made it 23 hours.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
DepartedLight
Head of the Council of Fairies
Head of the Council of Fairies
Posts: 28510
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by DepartedLight » Tue Jan 08, 2019 12:52 pm

FredS wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:59 am
FredS wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 am
I resolve to not reply to Uncle Bob or NoaM in the opt in threads. No matter how wrong they are.

We shall see.
Let the record show I made it 23 hours.
So noted.
DL Jake

Feel free to use that quote in your signature. Stanley76 » 22 Feb 2019 21:50

User avatar
Sir Moose
President Jar-Jar Binks fan club: "Meesa tink he da best!" - Perpetually in Trouble
President Jar-Jar Binks fan club: "Meesa tink he da best!" - Perpetually in Trouble
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:17 am
Location: NW Washington (not Canada)
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Sir Moose » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:11 pm

Cleon wrote:
Sir Moose wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am
Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
It wasn't suspicion. He was just hungry.
Hey now! It was my imaginary conversation, so I get to ascribe motives. Besides, if you’d seen the look on his face after my rejoinder, you’d know.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

User avatar
Thunktank
Terminal Lance. Perpetual Sea Lawyer. Unicorn Aficionado
Terminal Lance.  Perpetual Sea Lawyer. Unicorn Aficionado
Posts: 22245
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Home Sweet California at the Beach!

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Thunktank » Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:37 pm

I’m BBQing brisket over mesquite today.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -Yoda

“I grew up in a church with Ned Flanders. Down to the mustache. But so did a bunch of people I assume, which makes it so fun-diddly-unny.” -tuttle

User avatar
Fainn
Master's of fArts
Master's of fArts
Posts: 4453
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:37 pm

Its been 2 weeks since I've spoken to my mother.

Sent from my SM-J337A using Tapatalk

Why does Hugodrax want to suppress the Jesuits?

User avatar
GaryInVA
Cheesecake Wizard
Cheesecake Wizard
Posts: 4083
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: Bryan/College Station, TX

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am

I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Even though I can't smoke at this time, for some reason I like this place.

User avatar
sweetandsour
Minister of Pipe Breaking
Minister of Pipe Breaking
Posts: 10350
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Bayou Self
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:35 am

I plan to get organized today. Or, tomorrow perhaps.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

User avatar
FredS
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
Posts: 22190
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:03 am

GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
Try the orange pills. Those are my favorite.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
hugodrax
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Posts: 18610
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am

So my middle daughter, figlia del diavolo, took my wedding band into school. I learned through email that a band had shown up by where the second graders keep their satchels.

I knew from the picture it was mine. There arent that many 5 mm wide cushioned platinum bands out there, and I might choose not to wear it but I for darned sure recognize it.

I got it, brought it to the jeweler who authenticated it, and officially claimed it from the school. My daughter's response? Wasn't me.

Pray for her.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

User avatar
sweetandsour
Minister of Pipe Breaking
Minister of Pipe Breaking
Posts: 10350
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Bayou Self
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

User avatar
FredS
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
The Trappists say shut it, still talking
Posts: 22190
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:13 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
Pray for her.
And the boy she intended to give it to.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
JimVH
Ramone Rebuke VH
Ramone Rebuke VH
Posts: 23156
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:17 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
That's what I always tell my lawyer.

User avatar
JimVH
Ramone Rebuke VH
Ramone Rebuke VH
Posts: 23156
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:18 pm

GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
You better hope they don't test for BBQ.

User avatar
hugodrax
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Posts: 18610
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:10 pm

JimVH wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:17 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
That's what I always tell my lawyer.
Not the smartest thing to say as she watched me try it on. Cold shoulder until she comes clean.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

User avatar
hugodrax
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged
Posts: 18610
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:13 pm

Most bizarre news from my doctor yesterday. Whatever's destroying my innards, its going to do it with or without alcohol, so I'm cleared for the occasional glass.

That makes no sense to me. None. I'm glad I can, I guess, but I'm not sure I will.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

User avatar
gaining_age
What's-his-name - President: Devo Fan Club Intl
What's-his-name - President: Devo Fan Club Intl
Posts: 16424
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: sun soaked Arizona

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by gaining_age » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:40 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:13 pm
Most bizarre news from my doctor yesterday. Whatever's destroying my innards, its going to do it with or without alcohol, so I'm cleared for the occasional glass.

That makes no sense to me. None. I'm glad I can, I guess, but I'm not sure I will.
What about chocolate?
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

User avatar
GaryInVA
Cheesecake Wizard
Cheesecake Wizard
Posts: 4083
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: Bryan/College Station, TX

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:57 pm

JimVH wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:18 pm
GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
You better hope they don't test for BBQ.
That's the first thing I asked about. The day after payday my blood us usually contains about 50% beef fat molecules obtained from lunch's brisket.
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Even though I can't smoke at this time, for some reason I like this place.

Post Reply