Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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coco
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:27 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:19 pm
So my middle child, o figlia del mio cuore, handed me the shopping bag strategically so I just picked up the dog's duty with my bare fingers. Oh, how she laughed.

Looking back on this, it was actually pretty funny. I don't regret having killed her, though.
:lol:
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Sir Moose » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am

Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Cleon » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:47 am

Sir Moose wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am
Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
It wasn't suspicion. He was just hungry.
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" - Jesus

"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG

"Dang, a pipe slap." - JimVH

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:59 am

FredS wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 am
I resolve to not reply to Uncle Bob or NoaM in the opt in threads. No matter how wrong they are.

We shall see.
Let the record show I made it 23 hours.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by DepartedLight » Tue Jan 08, 2019 12:52 pm

FredS wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:59 am
FredS wrote:
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 am
I resolve to not reply to Uncle Bob or NoaM in the opt in threads. No matter how wrong they are.

We shall see.
Let the record show I made it 23 hours.
So noted.
DL Jake

Feel free to use that quote in your signature. Stanley76 » 22 Feb 2019 21:50

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Sir Moose
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Sir Moose » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:11 pm

Cleon wrote:
Sir Moose wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:14 am
Fitness-minded coworker suspiciously eyeing my plate of spaghetti.
Me: It's okay--I'm carb loading.
Coworker, suddenly interested: Oh really? What for?
Me: Because it's freakin' delicious!

Okay - it didn't really happen, but I was prepared. Stupid fitness-minded coworker just wasn't paying attention.
It wasn't suspicion. He was just hungry.
Hey now! It was my imaginary conversation, so I get to ascribe motives. Besides, if you’d seen the look on his face after my rejoinder, you’d know.


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In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Thunktank » Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:37 pm

I’m BBQing brisket over mesquite today.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -Yoda

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:37 pm

Its been 2 weeks since I've spoken to my mother.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am

I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Y'all crazy

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:35 am

I plan to get organized today. Or, tomorrow perhaps.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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FredS
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:03 am

GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
Try the orange pills. Those are my favorite.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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hugodrax
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am

So my middle daughter, figlia del diavolo, took my wedding band into school. I learned through email that a band had shown up by where the second graders keep their satchels.

I knew from the picture it was mine. There arent that many 5 mm wide cushioned platinum bands out there, and I might choose not to wear it but I for darned sure recognize it.

I got it, brought it to the jeweler who authenticated it, and officially claimed it from the school. My daughter's response? Wasn't me.

Pray for her.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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FredS
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:13 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
Pray for her.
And the boy she intended to give it to.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:17 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
That's what I always tell my lawyer.

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JimVH
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:18 pm

GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
You better hope they don't test for BBQ.

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hugodrax
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:10 pm

JimVH wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:17 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:40 pm
hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:42 am
My daughter's response? Wasn't me.
Smart kid.
That's what I always tell my lawyer.
Not the smartest thing to say as she watched me try it on. Cold shoulder until she comes clean.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

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hugodrax
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:13 pm

Most bizarre news from my doctor yesterday. Whatever's destroying my innards, its going to do it with or without alcohol, so I'm cleared for the occasional glass.

That makes no sense to me. None. I'm glad I can, I guess, but I'm not sure I will.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by gaining_age » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:40 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:13 pm
Most bizarre news from my doctor yesterday. Whatever's destroying my innards, its going to do it with or without alcohol, so I'm cleared for the occasional glass.

That makes no sense to me. None. I'm glad I can, I guess, but I'm not sure I will.
What about chocolate?
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:57 pm

JimVH wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 1:18 pm
GaryInVA wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:56 am
I have a drug test this morning. They will be testing me for those evil substances such as nicotine.
You better hope they don't test for BBQ.
That's the first thing I asked about. The day after payday my blood us usually contains about 50% beef fat molecules obtained from lunch's brisket.
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Y'all crazy

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