Lost it Again

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Fainn
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Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:38 pm

We has money set aside for the circumsion only to have the last $10 show up missing. Someone said they would deposit money into our account. They didn't. Arrived at the Plasma place only to be told they weren't taking anyone else for the day. I am so tired of never having enough money to cover our needs. I beat the hell out of the stick shift and may have broken it. I also spent 20 minutes cussing Gd out and inventing new names to call him. I can't deal with this anymore. Does Gd ever forgive past sins or does he enjoy watching people squirm? I feel I'd be happier as an atheist.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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JMG
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by JMG » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:07 pm

I'm sure many of us might be "happier" as an atheist at some time or another, but certainly not secure. Fainn, I truly hope that some day soon you will be able to stop seeing every inconvenient thing that happens in your life as a punishment for sin. God isn't out to get you. Brother, I say this from a place of deep empathy. I've gone through a prolonged period of time depression, so much so that calling it a "spiritual valley" doesn't really cut it. it felt a lot more like what Jonah described.

Jonah’s Prayer
1aThen Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from inside the fish. 2He said, “I cried out to the Lord in my great trouble, and he answered me. I called to you from the land of the dead,b and Lord, you heard me! 3You threw me into the ocean depths, and I sank down to the heart of the sea. The mighty waters engulfed me; I was buried beneath your wild and stormy waves. 4Then I said, ‘O Lord, you have driven me from your presence. Yet I will look once more toward your holy Temple.’ 5“I sank beneath the waves, and the waters closed over me. Seaweed wrapped itself around my head. 6I sank down to the very roots of the mountains. I was imprisoned in the earth, whose gates lock shut forever. But you, O Lord my God, snatched me from the jaws of death! 7As my life was slipping away, I remembered the Lord. And my earnest prayer went out to you in your holy Temple. 8Those who worship false gods turn their backs on all God’s mercies. 9But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation comes from the Lord alone.” 10Then the Lord ordered the fish to spit Jonah out onto the beach.

God has not forgotten you...that is your emotions telling you that. God has not forsaken you...that is your emotions telling you that. He has given the Bride of Christ to minister to you. I am here as I am sure so many other CPS brethren are and have been in the past. Crap, if 10 bucks will help you realize that God cares for you then I will give you 20...tell me where to send it. This world is broken, that is for certain. And yes, there are consequences for sin. However, our day to be spit out of the fish will come. It may not come for a long, long while, but it will come. Because despite how we feel about it, God has promised us that Jesus will will come for his Bride. We will trust our emotions, or trust His Word...we have to make a choice.

Fainn, I love you, brother. Many others do as well.
"No reserves, no retreats, no regrets."
"When you're dumb, you've got to be tough." - my dad

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wosbald
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by wosbald » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:11 pm

+JMJ+

Praying.




"In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph." - Our Lady of Fatima

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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Jocose » Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:26 am

wosbald wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:11 pm
+JMJ+

Praying.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS



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coco
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by coco » Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:50 am

praying
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Winton » Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:46 am

Praying.

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sweetandsour
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by sweetandsour » Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:59 am

Praying
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Re: Lost it Again

Post by JimVH » Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:01 am

Jocose wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:26 am
wosbald wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:11 pm
+JMJ+

Praying.

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Goose55
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Goose55 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:38 am

Fainn wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:38 pm
We has money set aside for the circumsion only to have the last $10 show up missing. Someone said they would deposit money into our account. They didn't. Arrived at the Plasma place only to be told they weren't taking anyone else for the day. I am so tired of never having enough money to cover our needs. I beat the hell out of the stick shift and may have broken it. I also spent 20 minutes cussing Gd out and inventing new names to call him. I can't deal with this anymore. Does Gd ever forgive past sins or does he enjoy watching people squirm? I feel I'd be happier as an atheist.
Seasons come, and seasons go. But the only trouble with seasons of emotions is that they don't correspond to a calendar. But they do eventually pass. You've got an ace in the hole with the SSDI claim, which will soon resolve. Things will be better. Hang on until then.
"At present we're on the wrong side of the door. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so." ~ C.S. Lewis

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:43 pm

Goose55 wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:38 am
Fainn wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:38 pm
We has money set aside for the circumsion only to have the last $10 show up missing. Someone said they would deposit money into our account. They didn't. Arrived at the Plasma place only to be told they weren't taking anyone else for the day. I am so tired of never having enough money to cover our needs. I beat the hell out of the stick shift and may have broken it. I also spent 20 minutes cussing Gd out and inventing new names to call him. I can't deal with this anymore. Does Gd ever forgive past sins or does he enjoy watching people squirm? I feel I'd be happier as an atheist.
Seasons come, and seasons go. But the only trouble with seasons of emotions is that they don't correspond to a calendar. But they do eventually pass. You've got an ace in the hole with the SSDI claim, which will soon resolve. Things will be better. Hang on until then.
I sure hope I get it. This waiting part is killing me.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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Goose55
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Goose55 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:55 pm

Fainn wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:43 pm
Goose55 wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:38 am
Fainn wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:38 pm
We has money set aside for the circumsion only to have the last $10 show up missing. Someone said they would deposit money into our account. They didn't. Arrived at the Plasma place only to be told they weren't taking anyone else for the day. I am so tired of never having enough money to cover our needs. I beat the hell out of the stick shift and may have broken it. I also spent 20 minutes cussing Gd out and inventing new names to call him. I can't deal with this anymore. Does Gd ever forgive past sins or does he enjoy watching people squirm? I feel I'd be happier as an atheist.
Seasons come, and seasons go. But the only trouble with seasons of emotions is that they don't correspond to a calendar. But they do eventually pass. You've got an ace in the hole with the SSDI claim, which will soon resolve. Things will be better. Hang on until then.
I sure hope I get it. This waiting part is killing me.
Lawyers don't take cases on contingency unless they are hard to lose. The fact that they took your case upon seeing the medical evidence means that it is already won. You just have to have patience to wait for the big check in the mail. Days add up to weeks add up to months. It'll be there before you know it.
"At present we're on the wrong side of the door. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so." ~ C.S. Lewis

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:28 pm

Its not a season. I've been dealing with this crap for nearly 5 years. And it gets old.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:29 pm

Was supposed to do yardwork for someone Got up and couldn't find my glasses which I need to drive. This always happens. Just when I'm about to earn some money, Gd will figure out a way to take the opportrunity from me. I've repeatedly told my wife I don't won't my son in church because I don't want to give Gd a chance to hurt him.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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FredS
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by FredS » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:38 pm

I know you're down right now Fainn, but stop it. God didn't misplace your glasses to punish you. That's all on you man and I'm offended that you try to put it on God. You're a father now - you need to get your stuff together and take responsibility for your family.

Has your son brought even the slightest bit of joy and hope to your life?

I'm praying for you.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:04 pm

FredS wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:38 pm


Has your son brought even the slightest bit of joy and hope to your life?

Not really. The first time I saw him I was so disappointed that he didn't look like me at all. Then I spent the other day apologizing to him that I was his father.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:07 pm

At least my wife found my glasses. Maybe I can do a few hours of work today.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

TNLawPiper
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by TNLawPiper » Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:30 pm

Fainn wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:04 pm
FredS wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:38 pm


Has your son brought even the slightest bit of joy and hope to your life?

Not really. The first time I saw him I was so disappointed that he didn't look like me at all. Then I spent the other day apologizing to him that I was his father.
Fainn, he's a baby. When they come out of the womb, they all look the same.

Snap out of it and get some help, man. You're not thinking rationally.

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sweetandsour
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by sweetandsour » Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:05 pm

Praying for Fainn and wife. Praying for their baby boy.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Fainn
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by Fainn » Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:37 am

TNLawPiper wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:30 pm
Fainn wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:04 pm
FredS wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:38 pm


Has your son brought even the slightest bit of joy and hope to your life?

Not really. The first time I saw him I was so disappointed that he didn't look like me at all. Then I spent the other day apologizing to him that I was his father.
Fainn, he's a baby. When they come out of the womb, they all look the same.

Snap out of it and get some help, man. You're not thinking rationally.
Help costs money and you get money by working. Its not funny how many times or in what ways I've been screwed out of a job. Even if I could afford it, the "help" I've gotten so far in Mississippi nearly killed me. I'd rather be operated on by a Latin American mob doctor than get
healthcare" here.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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JMG
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Re: Lost it Again

Post by JMG » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:49 pm

Fainn wrote:
Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:37 am
TNLawPiper wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:30 pm
Fainn wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:04 pm
FredS wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:38 pm


Has your son brought even the slightest bit of joy and hope to your life?

Not really. The first time I saw him I was so disappointed that he didn't look like me at all. Then I spent the other day apologizing to him that I was his father.
Fainn, he's a baby. When they come out of the womb, they all look the same.

Snap out of it and get some help, man. You're not thinking rationally.
Help costs money and you get money by working. Its not funny how many times or in what ways I've been screwed out of a job. Even if I could afford it, the "help" I've gotten so far in Mississippi nearly killed me. I'd rather be operated on by a Latin American mob doctor than get
healthcare" here.
Have you taken my recommendation and started a daily exercise routine?
"No reserves, no retreats, no regrets."
"When you're dumb, you've got to be tough." - my dad

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