When You Die..

For those deep thinkers out there.
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UncleBob
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When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:32 pm

..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: When You Die..

Post by wosbald » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:50 pm

+JMJ+
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
You want to burn like the heathen kings of old?

ImageImage

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UncleBob
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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:54 pm

wosbald wrote:+JMJ+
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
You want to burn like the heathen kings of old?
When I kick off, I want a 3 day party followed by a boat, an archer, and plenty of mead.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by JimVH » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:14 pm

If the occasion of my death is foreseeable, I plan to have JimVH bobbleheads for the first 100 attendees to my funeral. If less than 100 attend, you'll be able to find them for a steal on ebay the next day. Afterwards, I've instructed my family to throw a big BBQ.

Going out on a burning boat does seem kind of cool, though.

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Cleon » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:21 pm

JimVH wrote:If the occasion of my death is foreseeable, I plan to have JimVH bobbleheads for the first 100 attendees to my funeral. If less than 100 attend, you'll be able to find them for a steal on ebay the next day. Afterwards, I've instructed my family to throw a big BBQ.

Going out on a burning boat does seem kind of cool, though.
Cool. I'd show for one of those.

I mean, it would be an honor to receive such a kitschy representation of your likeness and perch on the dash of my old pickup.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Hovannes » Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:28 pm

UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Rusty » Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:59 pm

Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Last edited by Rusty on Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Skip » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:04 pm

Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do out beyond US waters.

The problem is that it doesn't work. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Rusty » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:09 pm

Skip wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do out beyond US waters.

The problem is that it doesn't work. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Two words: pre-pyre dessicant
100 LBs of water bound to flesh and organs? It's still not going to work. The boat goes too quickly.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:28 pm

JimVH wrote:If the occasion of my death is foreseeable, I plan to have JimVH bobbleheads for the first 100 attendees to my funeral. If less than 100 attend, you'll be able to find them for a steal on ebay the next day. Afterwards, I've instructed my family to throw a big BBQ.

Going out on a burning boat does seem kind of cool, though.
LOL! That is beautiful. Better than a program!
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:30 pm

Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
You can't have a sweet Viking funeral without somehow thumbing yer nose at the authorities.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Jocose » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:31 pm

What song shall we play as we prepare you UB?
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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:32 pm

Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:35 pm

Jocose wrote:What song shall we play as we prepare you UB?
[BBvideo 560,340]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVTEPBhZ2EQ[/BBvideo]
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by hugodrax » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:37 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
What are you going to name your boat?

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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:41 pm

hugodrax wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
What are you going to name your boat?
Either Vingilot or Straight Virginia Flake. Could go either way.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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hugodrax
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Re: When You Die..

Post by hugodrax » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:48 pm

UncleBob wrote:
hugodrax wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
What are you going to name your boat?
Either Vingilot or Straight Virginia Flake. Could go either way.
Vingilot. You don't want eternal tongue burn.

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Rusty » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:59 pm

You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Thunktank » Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:52 pm

Anyone who posts to this thread is Wyrd.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -Yoda

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hugodrax
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Re: When You Die..

Post by hugodrax » Tue Nov 10, 2015 9:10 pm

Thunktank wrote:Anyone who posts to this thread is Wyrd.
:taco:

You've earned it.

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