When You Die..

For those deep thinkers out there.
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Jocose
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Jocose » Tue Nov 10, 2015 9:25 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Jocose wrote:What song shall we play as we prepare you UB?
[BBvideo 560,340]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVTEPBhZ2EQ[/BBvideo]
Um.. any other requests?
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Re: When You Die..

Post by bilder » Tue Nov 10, 2015 9:59 pm

When I die, I want to be used as a prop in one of Morley's plays.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by ReverendThom » Tue Nov 10, 2015 11:12 pm

I would like the Blue Jays to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one more time

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Re: When You Die..

Post by JimVH » Tue Nov 10, 2015 11:29 pm

:lol:
ReverendThom wrote:I would like the Blue Jays to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one more time

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Re: When You Die..

Post by AFRS » Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:55 am

UncleBob wrote:
wosbald wrote:+JMJ+
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
You want to burn like the heathen kings of old?
When I kick off, I want a 3 day party followed by a boat, an archer, and plenty of mead.
Why, .... why wait?

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Rusty » Wed Nov 11, 2015 6:00 am

UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
I'm no expert but I think a Christian is supposed to have converted his enemies to Christianity and all hostilities cease. They should be pallbearers at your Christian funeral. BTW I've seen this and I was astounded by the graveside part where the minister exhorted the dead to stay dead and ignore the affairs of the world. That was creepy. Your way sounds like you want to spend eternity with bickering, braggart Klingons in Valhalla. It's like a bunch of bad tempered hens. You can't even get that at Beelzebub's.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:26 am

Rusty wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
I'm no expert but I think a Christian is supposed to have converted his enemies to Christianity and all hostilities cease. They should be pallbearers at your Christian funeral. BTW I've seen this and I was astounded by the graveside part where the minister exhorted the dead to stay dead and ignore the affairs of the world. That was creepy. Your way sounds like you want to spend eternity with bickering, braggart Klingons in Valhalla. It's like a bunch of bad tempered hens. You can't even get that at Beelzebub's.
Arms and skulls are the result of a good ole fashioned Catholic conversion. :wink:

You sure whine a bunch.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by coco » Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:34 am

Jocose wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Jocose wrote:What song shall we play as we prepare you UB?
[BBvideo 560,340]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVTEPBhZ2EQ[/BBvideo]
Um.. any other requests?
Bob has requested that "Never Gonna Give You Up" be played during the 3-day party, thus giving him his final Rick Roll.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Rusty » Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:12 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
They'd throw the organizer in prison. There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison. But this is a religious rite so theoretically it's protected. But you should do it out beyond US waters in the ocean.

The problem is that it doesn't work. I suppose it depends what you think it does. There isn't nearly enough heat, sustained for nearly long enough, to even vapourize all the water in the human body (you're 75% water). It takes 2 -3 hours, at much higher temperatures to reduce a body in a crematorium. And it's not ash that remains but bones that are crushed to gravel. So unless you're weighed down by armor your cadaver will survive the burning boat and float off and end up on a beach. Now the Vikings probably knew this, hence the armor. When the boat is burned to water line it capsizes and the armored cadaver sinks. The flames are just to get rid of the boat.
Hel yeah I'm going to be swaddled in chainmail while surrounded by the arms (ie weapons) and skulls (ie actual skulls) of my enemies.
I'm no expert but I think a Christian is supposed to have converted his enemies to Christianity and all hostilities cease. They should be pallbearers at your Christian funeral. BTW I've seen this and I was astounded by the graveside part where the minister exhorted the dead to stay dead and ignore the affairs of the world. That was creepy. Your way sounds like you want to spend eternity with bickering, braggart Klingons in Valhalla. It's like a bunch of bad tempered hens. You can't even get that at Beelzebub's.
Arms and skulls are the result of a good ole fashioned Catholic conversion. :wink:

You sure whine a bunch.
LOL! Those are just some warm-up process/expectation and navigational questions. We have yet to get to the meat of the matter.

So what does this little latest revelation mean? Methodist + Cath Conversion ---> Viking funeral ? Or perhaps it's Cath Conversion(Methodist) ---> Viking Funeral. There has to be a cross-product in their somewhere I think. A Viking funeral isn't even in the same space. So which Catholics are pressing for conversion?

In principle the dead are not concerned with the affairs of the world, and your funeral is in the world. So who are the beneficiaries of the viking funeral?
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:14 pm

Rusty wrote:
UncleBob wrote: Arms and skulls are the result of a good ole fashioned Catholic conversion. :wink:

You sure whine a bunch.
LOL! Those are just some warm-up process/expectation and navigational questions. We have yet to get to the meat of the matter.

So what does this little latest revelation mean? Methodist + Cath Conversion ---> Viking funeral ? Or perhaps it's Cath Conversion(Methodist) ---> Viking Funeral. There has to be a cross-product in their somewhere I think. A Viking funeral isn't even in the same space. So which Catholics are pressing for conversion?

In principle the dead are not concerned with the affairs of the world, and your funeral is in the world. So who are the beneficiaries of the viking funeral?
Think about it.
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by hugodrax » Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:38 pm

UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
UncleBob wrote: Arms and skulls are the result of a good ole fashioned Catholic conversion. :wink:

You sure whine a bunch.
LOL! Those are just some warm-up process/expectation and navigational questions. We have yet to get to the meat of the matter.

So what does this little latest revelation mean? Methodist + Cath Conversion ---> Viking funeral ? Or perhaps it's Cath Conversion(Methodist) ---> Viking Funeral. There has to be a cross-product in their somewhere I think. A Viking funeral isn't even in the same space. So which Catholics are pressing for conversion?

In principle the dead are not concerned with the affairs of the world, and your funeral is in the world. So who are the beneficiaries of the viking funeral?
Think about it.
You don't want to see a Viking funeral?

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Re: When You Die..

Post by SlowToke » Wed Nov 11, 2015 3:35 pm

I would like to be ground up and mixed in with McDonald's "hamburger" and served to the public but not until after I've received my JimVH bobblehead. Your likeness would make an outstanding bobblehead.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by UncleBob » Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:25 pm

Jocose wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Jocose wrote:What song shall we play as we prepare you UB?
[BBvideo 560,340]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVTEPBhZ2EQ[/BBvideo]
Um.. any other requests?
[BBvideo 560,340]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDrGmUlmutY[/BBvideo]
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Many of the points here, taken to their logical conclusions, don't hold up to logic; they're simply Godded-up ways of saying "I don't like that." - Skip

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." -Mark Twain

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Re: When You Die..

Post by bilder » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:49 pm

Put my corpse in a trash can and set me out by the curb on Thursday.

Take the money saved and enjoy a nice vacation in my memory.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by hugodrax » Wed Nov 11, 2015 6:53 pm

bilder wrote:Put my corpse in a trash can and set me out by the curb on Thursday.

Take the money saved and enjoy a nice vacation in my memory.
I wouldn't save any money. I'd need a much bigger trashcan. Also, Tuesday is trash night around here.

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Re: When You Die..

Post by Thunktank » Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:44 pm

On a serious note, I used to fuss over my future death a lot. These days, I accept it and it inclines me to live my life. My one, all too short life. Better make the best of it. I hoped to be remembered by my loved ones in a generally positive way.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by coco » Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:47 pm

True Pastafarians have caskets made of Ramen bricks, but those should burn just fine, so I don't see a problem.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by CW Spook » Wed Nov 11, 2015 9:20 pm

When I die I may not go to heaven
I don't know if they let cowboys in
If they don't just let me go to Texas, Boy!
Texas is as close as I've been.
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Re: When You Die..

Post by Hovannes » Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:40 am

UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
UncleBob wrote:
Rusty wrote:
Hovannes wrote:
UncleBob wrote:..what kind of funeral? Here's what I want:

Image
A violation of the California Air Resources Board Regulations. They'd throw you in prison out here.
.
Rusty wrote: There is probably a law against throwing a cadaver in prison.
Apparently the Franchise Tax Board didn't get the memo :P
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Re: When You Die..

Post by John-Boy » Thu Nov 12, 2015 9:25 pm

When I die and they lay me to rest I wanna go to the place that's the best.

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