Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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JimVH
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Tue Jun 11, 2019 7:19 pm

Never ever set your cell phone on the roof of your car. No matter how quickly you think you'll turn back around to grab it or how hard you try to convince yourself you'll remember it, you won't.

I've never felt dumber. At least it's been a long time.



Edit:
After I typed the post above, my daughter tried to call my cell phone and a man answered. He told her he found the phone laying in the middle of the road and needed to get it to the owner. She had me call it and he answered. We met at a convenience store near the front of my subdivision. He gave me the phone and started to walk away. I asked him to stop and gave him $20 to say thanks and thought he was going to cry. He’s been out of work and on hard times. I offered him more cash and he declined. We talked for a bit and he got in his old car and drove away. Kind of a cool moment.

My dumbness put me in the path of a really nice fellow. I don't feel so bad now.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Stanley76 » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:07 am

JimVH wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2019 7:19 pm
Never ever set your cell phone on the roof of your car. No matter how quickly you think you'll turn back around to grab it or how hard you try to convince yourself you'll remember it, you won't.

I've never felt dumber. At least it's been a long time.



Edit:
After I typed the post above, my daughter tried to call my cell phone and a man answered. He told her he found the phone laying in the middle of the road and needed to get it to the owner. She had me call it and he answered. We met at a convenience store near the front of my subdivision. He gave me the phone and started to walk away. I asked him to stop and gave him $20 to say thanks and thought he was going to cry. He’s been out of work and on hard times. I offered him more cash and he declined. We talked for a bit and he got in his old car and drove away. Kind of a cool moment.

My dumbness put me in the path of a really nice fellow. I don't feel so bad now.
Fail. I didn't care much about this until I read your edit. Now I care and I'm impressed both with you and the man that found your phone. Here is an example of something nobody cares about, I just ordered a buckler to use in case I ever have to fight somebody with a sword. I already have swords but no buckler. This will be rectified soon. http://www.kultofathena.com/product.asp ... auge+Steel
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:12 am

The Impudent called to say you should always set you phone, coffee cup, or donut on the hood of the car, near the windshield, right in front of the steering wheel. That way it's in your field of vision and you'll see it before you drive away.

He also suggested putting your car keys in the fridge when you have BBQ left from lunch with your coworkers so you won't forget to grab it before you go home.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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JimVH
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:38 am

FredS wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:12 am
The Impudent called to say you should always set you phone, coffee cup, or donut on the hood of the car, near the windshield, right in front of the steering wheel. That way it's in your field of vision and you'll see it before you drive away.
The really jacked up part of this is that I knew when I set them down it was a bad idea and did it anyway.

I don't think even The Impudent can fix that.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:48 am

JimVH wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:38 am
FredS wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:12 am
The Impudent called to say you should always set you phone, coffee cup, or donut on the hood of the car, near the windshield, right in front of the steering wheel. That way it's in your field of vision and you'll see it before you drive away.
The really jacked up part of this is that I knew when I set them down it was a bad idea and did it anyway.

I don't think even The Impudent can fix that.
I think it's in our DNA, left over from when we were young and daring. You don't want to admit that you can't remember something for even five seconds or that you're not as sharp as you once were. It's like *that one time I was on the step ladder and I couldn't quite reach the light bulb and I decided I could just 'hop' the ladder instead of getting down to move it. I knew it was a bad idea as I did it. Add another entry to the "I'm getting to old for this s#$%" list.

*By 'that one time' I mean last night.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:17 pm

My son and his pal bought two Honda dirt bikes in parts. a 90 and a 110.
I just helped the lad clear a space on the side yard for him to work on one of them.
He's very excited.
But I can't stop thinking about Danny. He was 17 when his dad passed so he had to quit school and get a job to support his brothers and sisters.
He didn't have a driver's licence so he asked for permission from the police chief to drive to work (they could make exceptions in those days.) The only thing he could afford was a dirt bike.
He got hit and was paraplegic for the next 30 years. We just had his funeral.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:22 pm

Stanley76 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:07 am


I just ordered a buckler to use in case I ever have to fight somebody with a sword. I already have swords but no buckler. This will be rectified soon. http://www.kultofathena.com/product.asp ... auge+Steel
Why? All the cool kids are making mayhem with halberds these days Image
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:47 pm

Hovannes wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:17 pm
My son and his pal bought two Honda dirt bikes in parts. a 90 and a 110.
I just helped the lad clear a space on the side yard for him to work on one of them.
He's very excited.
But I can't stop thinking about Danny. He was 17 when his dad passed so he had to quit school and get a job to support his brothers and sisters.
He didn't have a driver's licence so he asked for permission from the police chief to drive to work (they could make exceptions in those days.) The only thing he could afford was a dirt bike.
He got hit and was paraplegic for the next 30 years. We just had his funeral.
Dang man. Why the focus on worst outcomes? You jump from hiking alone - to dying. From working on a dirt bike - to paralysis and death. Isn't there room for an enjoyable middle ground in your life?
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Bloodhound » Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:27 pm

Hovannes wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:22 pm
Image
:rotfl:
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Stanley76 » Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:32 pm

Hovannes wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:22 pm
Stanley76 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:07 am


I just ordered a buckler to use in case I ever have to fight somebody with a sword. I already have swords but no buckler. This will be rectified soon. http://www.kultofathena.com/product.asp ... auge+Steel
Why? All the cool kids are making mayhem with halberds these days Image
You have a point. I should get a kite shield in case of a halberd attack or worse yet, a dane axe. The chances of that happening are small I admit but it's better to have a shield (or buckler) and not need it than the other way around and I can't afford a suit of full plate armor or even chainmail. I might be able to afford a Dog Faced Bascinet to wear to Walmart though.http://www.kultofathena.com/product.asp ... -+14+Gauge+
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:20 pm

FredS wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:47 pm
Hovannes wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:17 pm
My son and his pal bought two Honda dirt bikes in parts. a 90 and a 110.
I just helped the lad clear a space on the side yard for him to work on one of them.
He's very excited.
But I can't stop thinking about Danny. He was 17 when his dad passed so he had to quit school and get a job to support his brothers and sisters.
He didn't have a driver's licence so he asked for permission from the police chief to drive to work (they could make exceptions in those days.) The only thing he could afford was a dirt bike.
He got hit and was paraplegic for the next 30 years. We just had his funeral.
Dang man. Why the focus on worst outcomes? You jump from hiking alone - to dying. From working on a dirt bike - to paralysis and death. Isn't there room for an enjoyable middle ground in your life?
Yeah I see this as an opportunity for the lad to learn something mechanical. That's good.
It's just thinking about Danny's funeral and his connection with dirt bikes getting me down.
Heck, my kid spends weekends climbing the big walls in Yosemite Valley.
I don't coddle the boy.
But I rarely get any sleep at night either!
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:54 am

FredS wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:12 am
The Impudent called to say you should always set you phone, coffee cup, or donut on the hood of the car, near the windshield, right in front of the steering wheel. That way it's in your field of vision and you'll see it before you drive away.

He also suggested putting your car keys in the fridge when you have BBQ left from lunch with your coworkers so you won't forget to grab it before you go home.
Reminds me of going fishing with an old friend, who couldn't find his keys to truck and boat, 630 a.m.. he finally said screw it let's get a beer, opened the fridge and there were the keys.
BTW Fred, I can look at any post and immediately recognize if it's yours.
Jim, glad you found your phone.
Hov. Like Fred says, take it easy.
Stan, congrats on the sword and buckler?

Also btw, I was late to golf this morning and the group teed off without me, which teed me off. I came back home for breakfast and coffee on the back porch.
Couple days ago I was on the golf course when my wife called to tell me an alligator was in our back yard.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by rgcurrey » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:26 am

sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:54 am
Also btw, I was late to golf this morning and the group teed off without me, which teed me off. I came back home for breakfast and coffee on the back porch.
Couple days ago I was on the golf course when my wife called to tell me an alligator was in our back yard.

Breakfast and coffee on the back porch sounds like a win to me (no doubt if you add a pipe).
Well I got a job and tried to put my money away
But I got debts that no honest man can pay - B. Springsteen

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:39 am

sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:54 am
BTW Fred, I can look at any post and immediately recognize if it's yours.
My distinktive spelling style gives it away?
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by ReverendThom » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:43 pm

I swung from a swing 40ft in the air today. Not doing that again

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:53 am

I have been led to believe Goose bought a one pound tin of Haddo’s Delight hoping it has some age on it. While I can’t confirm through personal knowledge, I’ve read it more than once and trust the source.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by rgcurrey » Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:16 am

hugodrax wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:53 am
I have been led to believe Goose bought a one pound tin of Haddo’s Delight hoping it has some age on it. While I can’t confirm through personal knowledge, I’ve read it more than once and trust the source.
I can second this information (although they are from the same source, all of them, one source)
Well I got a job and tried to put my money away
But I got debts that no honest man can pay - B. Springsteen

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:52 am

Had outpatient sinus surgery yesterday. Taking today off work.
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Y'all crazy

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Fri Jun 14, 2019 8:04 am

GaryInVA wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:52 am
Had outpatient sinus surgery yesterday. Taking today off work.
Yeah, that sounds uncomfortable. I'm gonna call this a fail.

I hope everything is okay, bud.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by rgcurrey » Fri Jun 14, 2019 1:04 pm

Eating left over office birthday cake from a co-workers birthday, a square piece about 6"x6". Why? Because it is chocolate and if I don't do it it will be thrown out at the end of the day. I'm no quitter.
Well I got a job and tried to put my money away
But I got debts that no honest man can pay - B. Springsteen

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