Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
User avatar
mont974x4
Wild Thing
Wild Thing
Posts: 9028
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by mont974x4 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm

JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.

User avatar
FredS
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Posts: 22730
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:18 pm

mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
mont974x4
Wild Thing
Wild Thing
Posts: 9028
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by mont974x4 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:19 pm

FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
Or a sundial.


Hello FredS
It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.

User avatar
FredS
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Posts: 22730
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:23 pm

mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:19 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
Or a sundial.


Hello FredS
The shadow tells me it's 8:00.
Man, I'm glad I have a big clock.


Hello mont974x4
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
mont974x4
Wild Thing
Wild Thing
Posts: 9028
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by mont974x4 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:35 pm

FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:19 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
Or a sundial.


Hello FredS
The shadow tells me it's 8:00.
Man, I'm glad I have a big clock.


Hello mont974x4
Image


Hello FredS
It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.

User avatar
JimVH
Eddie and Alex's brother
Eddie and Alex's brother
Posts: 24030
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JimVH » Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:10 pm

mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:35 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:19 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
Or a sundial.


Hello FredS
The shadow tells me it's 8:00.
Man, I'm glad I have a big clock.


Hello mont974x4
Image


Hello FredS
FredS is now BigBen.
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

"The easiest way to digest success is through gratitude." Matthew McConaughey

User avatar
gaining_age
Minister of Boogie Dancing
Minister of Boogie Dancing
Posts: 16694
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:00 pm
Location: sun soaked Arizona

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by gaining_age » Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:35 am

JimVH wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:10 pm
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:35 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:19 pm
FredS wrote:
mont974x4 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:13 pm
JimVH wrote:
FredS wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:57 pm
Erection Sheets aren't nearly as exciting as one might think.
Image
I wouldn’t have guessed they were made of paper.
I heard there’s a pill for that.


Hello FredS
I've been taking Viagra with iron supplements. Don't need my compass anymore.


Hello mont974x4
Or a sundial.


Hello FredS
The shadow tells me it's 8:00.
Man, I'm glad I have a big clock.


Hello mont974x4
Image


Hello FredS
FredS is now BigBen.
They say the eyesight is the second thing to go...
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

User avatar
Fainn
Master's of fArts
Master's of fArts
Posts: 4974
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:15 pm

I've never stolen a horse from somebody I didn't like.
Farts are either proof that God is a man or a sign of a fallen world.

User avatar
FredS
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Patriarch of All Shirkdom
Posts: 22730
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: NOCO (Northern Colorado)

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:31 pm

From my friend Stan-the-Lutheran-Pastor
Image
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

"One of the things I love about CPS is the frank and enthusiastic dysfunction here. God help me, I do love it so." – OldWorldSwine

"I'd like to put a hook in that puppet and swing it through a bunch of salmon!" - durangopipe

User avatar
mont974x4
Wild Thing
Wild Thing
Posts: 9028
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by mont974x4 » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:59 pm

FredS wrote:From my friend Stan-the-Lutheran-Pastor
Image
Appreciative chuckle


Hello FredS
It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.

User avatar
DepartedLight
Archfairy of Carolinia
Archfairy of Carolinia
Posts: 29143
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Tobacco Fairy HQ, North Carolina

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by DepartedLight » Fri Sep 13, 2019 6:59 pm

mont974x4 wrote:
Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:59 pm
FredS wrote:From my friend Stan-the-Lutheran-Pastor
Image
Appreciative chuckle


Hello FredS
:lol: :lol:
DL Jake

how is your scrotum? - Roadmaster

User avatar
CodeMonkey
Beeblebrox's Second Head
Beeblebrox's Second Head
Posts: 5705
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Dark side of the moon

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by CodeMonkey » Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:17 pm

I've been spending some quality time with Mr. Jim Beam Black. If you get a chance to make his acquaintance, take advantage of the chance.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson

User avatar
Fainn
Master's of fArts
Master's of fArts
Posts: 4974
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:41 pm

I found my pocket edition of Chicago Manual of Style.Ya'll don't even know how happy I am.
Farts are either proof that God is a man or a sign of a fallen world.

User avatar
ReverendThom
Minister of Murses
Minister of Murses
Posts: 3923
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:08 am
Location: Winnipeg, MB
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by ReverendThom » Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:16 am

On Thursday night I grabbed the No-name apple juice from the fridge and chugged it straight from the carton. Turns out it was no-name chicken broth. It was a nasty surprise.

I told the story on my show yesterday and then had people call in with their own stories. I laughed.

https://soundcloud.com/user-554976029-6 ... the-carton

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk

"Pipe smokers used to be among the smartest people walking around. It's not true anymore." - Rusty

User avatar
Hovannes
Minister of Unanswered Threads
Minister of Unanswered Threads
Posts: 25954
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: In the fertile San Joaquin Valley

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Sat Sep 14, 2019 5:50 pm

It's 100 degrees. I just came in from cleaning up one corner the the side yard.
Mrs Hov baked the first batch of pumpkin spice muffins of the season.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

User avatar
mont974x4
Wild Thing
Wild Thing
Posts: 9028
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:00 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by mont974x4 » Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:10 pm

I’ve never used Uber or any other ride share trap.


Hello FredS
It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.

User avatar
Fainn
Master's of fArts
Master's of fArts
Posts: 4974
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Location: Unleashing a deadly fart cloud on some unsuspecting soul

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:54 pm

Started the mentoring process for ministry this past week.
Farts are either proof that God is a man or a sign of a fallen world.

User avatar
sweetandsour
Minister of Shotgun Breaking
Minister of Shotgun Breaking
Posts: 10951
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:00 pm
Location: Bayou Self
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Sat Sep 14, 2019 9:19 pm

I had a very vivid dream last night, and remembered every face and detail when I woke up, but by late afternoon I couldn't remember the first thing about it.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

User avatar
coco
Uniquely Duggish
Uniquely Duggish
Posts: 29995
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Sun Sep 15, 2019 6:40 am

Fainn wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:54 pm
Started the mentoring process for ministry this past week.
Thread fail.
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
"No more signatures that quote other CPS members." - Thunk

User avatar
coco
Uniquely Duggish
Uniquely Duggish
Posts: 29995
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Contact:

Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:16 am

Hovannes wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 5:50 pm
It's 100 degrees. I just came in from cleaning up one corner the the side yard.
Mrs Hov baked the first batch of pumpkin spice muffins of the season.
It's Autumn here as well.
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
"No more signatures that quote other CPS members." - Thunk

Post Reply