ZealousBob wrote:Mountain Dew contains pure unfiltered Truthiness. If you are ever not feeling well, and need an extra shot of Truthiness to get you through your day, go get yourself as much Mountain Dew as possible, and chug, chug, chug!
Many believe you should drink coffee to get through the day. However, that beverage has been corrupted by hippies and liberals, who put tons of creamer in it. Many of these so-called human beings drink the cream-tainted liquid death while reading evil books at an Ivy-league school library, or drink it while they hang out at Starbucks and discuss liberal nonsense while wearing their pretentious uppity clothes. To top it off, most bookstores now sell coffee, so people can drink it, while they...read more evil books! Probably books written by that moron Noam Chomsky, no doubt.
This cream-tainted form of Coffee and truthiness are exact opposites. It sucks the truthiness out of you, as it gives you the urge to read books and study things.
If you want a kick of truthiness, Mountain Dew is the only way to go.
I hope to God that you're not real.