Confessions

Where Fellowship and Camaraderie lives: that place where the CPS membership values fun and good fellowship as the cement of the community
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FredS
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Re: Confessions

Post by FredS » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:55 pm

I haven't watched a national newscast (aside from snippets of Sunday morning political talk shows) in perhaps two months. Though it doesn't make me a well informed citizen, it does make me supremely happy.
"If we ever get to heaven boys, it aint because we aint done nothin' wrong" - Kris Kristofferson

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DepartedLight
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Re: Confessions

Post by DepartedLight » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:18 pm

FredS wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:55 pm
I haven't watched a national newscast (aside from snippets of Sunday morning political talk shows) in perhaps two months. Though it doesn't make me a well informed citizen, it does make me supremely happy.
Alleluia!
DL Jake

IRT 328; "kinda smells like... meat." - Mrs. Gabriel » 09 Sep 2017

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Roadmaster
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Re: Confessions

Post by Roadmaster » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:37 pm

DepartedLight wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:18 pm
FredS wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:55 pm
I haven't watched a national newscast (aside from snippets of Sunday morning political talk shows) in perhaps two months. Though it doesn't make me a well informed citizen, it does make me supremely happy.
Alleluia!
Mrs. R more than makes up for you Fred.

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Tatanka
Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
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Re: Confessions

Post by Tatanka » Fri Feb 02, 2018 8:59 pm

A_Morley wrote:
Tue Dec 19, 2017 2:30 pm
Months ago now I ordered a tin of Capt. Black grape from P&C. It was almost more of a joke. I'd smoke it just so that I could say that I had and then send off additional baggies to interested CPSers. The box containing it arrived and I set it aside and went out of town for a week long gig.

It's easy enough for me to forget about less than pressing matters. It wasn't until it was mentioned to me again that I remembered the purple can so many smokers were almost afraid to fill their pipes with but couldn't seem to stop talking about. I'd crack it open and send off samples of it in a couple of days I told myself but then I'd forget about it all over again.

I was downtown and trying to ignore bystanders one day when a voice broke in that I couldn't ignore.

"Can you spare some pipe tobacco, sir?"

It was a youth of not over twenty sitting on the cobblestones in company with the buskers and pit bulls and dreadlocked anarchists of downtown. He was what I would have marked as a gutter punk or crust punk: willfully homeless and itinerant political dissidents who are a conspicuous feature of Oregon's urban culture with their homemade patchwork punk clothing and DIY piercings and body art. Being solicited for money or cigarettes by white kids with tribal tattoos and probable trust funds is a common enough irritant in the downtownscape of any Pacific Northwest city. This kid, however, was both polite and clearly spoken and he was holding a briar that I quickly saw was a Kaywoodie. Seeing as I was smoking a pipe, he thought he would try his luck. His compatriots would likely have asked if I had any cigarettes or made some crack about Sherlock Holmes or smoking weed. I gave him a fill from out my pouch and walked on.

In the weeks to come I saw the same boy once or twice. He would say something like, "There's the nice gentleman with the pipe," and I'd give him a fill from my pouch. One day when I saw him as I was walking home. Recalling that unopened can of Capt. Black Grape for the first time in weeks, I took it and went back to where I had seen him downtown and presented him with it. He seemed very grateful and I haven't seen him since. I told myself that I'd simply buy another can for later sampling, but I never remember it when I am ordering tobacco, for whatever reason.

I am sorry if my forgetfulness had upset or disappointed anybody.
Very enjoyable read indeed.
Soli Deo Gloria!

"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake

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Hovannes
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Re: Confessions

Post by Hovannes » Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:11 am

I just colluded with Satan
I had to join AARP this morning to access United Health Care for a Medicare supplement policy.
I feel so filthy.
Really.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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sweetandsour
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Re: Confessions

Post by sweetandsour » Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:21 am

Hovannes wrote:
Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:11 am
I just colluded with Satan
I had to join AARP this morning to access United Health Care for a Medicare supplement policy.
I feel so filthy.
Really.
Sounds like collusion alright, between AARP and UHC! ... and/or whoever you retired from.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Cleon
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Re: Confessions

Post by Cleon » Mon Mar 12, 2018 8:01 am

I played Powerball last week. I'm playing again this week and adding Mega Millions to the list. I feel forced since it's an office pool. I mean, I don't want to be left holding the bag if everyone else in the office wins.
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" - Jesus

"More people need to put their big boy britches on." - JMG

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sweetandsour
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Re: Confessions

Post by sweetandsour » Mon Mar 12, 2018 8:12 pm

Cleon wrote:
Mon Mar 12, 2018 8:01 am
I played Powerball last week. I'm playing again this week and adding Mega Millions to the list. I feel forced since it's an office pool. I mean, I don't want to be left holding the bag if everyone else in the office wins.
Yeah those are pretty much mandatory.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Fainn
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Re: Confessions

Post by Fainn » Fri May 04, 2018 12:38 pm

I'm listening to the Marshall Mathers LP.
I'm bigger than the Beatles - Jesus

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Tatanka
Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
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Re: Confessions

Post by Tatanka » Sat May 05, 2018 9:48 am

I'm living without access to our kitchen; the contractor came down with the flu and a UTI. Using a bathroom sink as a replacement. Visiting Sizzlers frequently.
Soli Deo Gloria!

"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake

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wosbald
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Re: Confessions

Post by wosbald » Sat May 05, 2018 10:17 am

+JMJ+
Fainn wrote:
Fri May 04, 2018 12:38 pm
I'm listening to the Marshall Mathers LP.
I'm listening to the Marshall McLuhan LP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SU6Ef30o4E
"In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph." - Our Lady of Fatima



Newsflash: 2 weeks after breaking 17 game losing streak, Cleveland Browns snap 19 game non-winning streak.

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sweetandsour
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Re: Confessions

Post by sweetandsour » Fri May 25, 2018 12:55 pm

The young lady was sitting on a stool behind the counter, and all I could see other than her face were the words on her T-shirt, "squeeze a boob". When she finally stood, the words on the lower part of the shirt were then visible, "save a life". I realized then that the shirt was pink colored, and bore the clever-but-rather-crude reference to a mammogram, etc. I was both relieved, but also strangely disappointed.
I happened to return there the following day and the inscription across her shirt read "stay focused". She never stood, so I'm not sure if that was the entire message, but I like to think it was.
The thought of dropping by there again today has crossed my mind, for just my plain old curiosity, but so far I've resisted. Pretty much anything can be put on a T-shirt I guess.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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arank87
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Re: Confessions

Post by arank87 » Mon May 28, 2018 8:20 pm

I like cold pizza and orange juice for breakfast. It reminds me of college.
"You can call me, Al" - Me

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sweetandsour
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Re: Confessions

Post by sweetandsour » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:51 am

I'm in the dentist chair enduring a root canal while the dentist and his asst discuss a local business that provides a hangover recuperation service by IV, mobile go-anywhere.

I blubber out my 2 cents, how it reminds me of ancient Rome vomitoria. You ever do that?, he asks. Make yourself vomit so you could eat and drink more?
Hell yes.
Well, you should Google that misconception, he replies.

So I did. Man what an utter disappointment. Sometimes I hate wikipedia. And dentists. Talk about adding insult to injury.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Thoth
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Re: Confessions

Post by Thoth » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:00 pm

I've reached a stage in life where I'm more interested/amused at staring the reaction of men staring at a lovely young lass walking down the street than looking at her myself.
"Go and reconcile with him who has trespassed against you before he comes and apologises to you and steals your crown" - H.H. Pope Cyril VI<br><br>"O Lord I was not aware of the treasure within me that is You" - H.H. Pope Shenouda III

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Tatanka
Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
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Re: Confessions

Post by Tatanka » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:09 pm

Thoth wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:00 pm
I've reached a stage in life where I'm more interested/amused at staring the reaction of men staring at a lovely young lass walking down the street than looking at her myself.
I frequently think of and read old Job's prayer to keep his eyes from looking at young virgins. The temptation goes WAY BACK! :)
Soli Deo Gloria!

"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake

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mont974x4
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It's gotten old now
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Re: Confessions

Post by mont974x4 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:47 pm

It’s been near or above 90 degrees for a few days and our air conditioner is non existent at the point. So I’m standing in front of a fan. in my boxers, trying to cool off enough to go to bed.

At least my bride is able to enjoy air conditioning in her hotel room in Georgia.


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It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.

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ReverendThom
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Re: Confessions

Post by ReverendThom » Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:24 pm

I dislike alter calls.

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"Pipe smokers used to be among the smartest people walking around. It's not true anymore." - Rusty

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durangopipe
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Re: Confessions

Post by durangopipe » Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:29 pm

ReverendThom wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:24 pm
I dislike alter calls.

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Me too, I confess.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

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Sir Moose
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Re: Confessions

Post by Sir Moose » Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:16 am

I tried to exhale out of the right side of my mouth while still holding my pipe in the left side of my mouth. I managed to blow a single ember out of the pipe onto my left hand. My hand jerked causing a shower of glowing embers to go flying out all over my hand, my fleece jacket, and the tinder-dry grass at my feet. I felt like an idiot as I tried to fling embers off my hand, brush my fleece jacket off, and stomp the embers in the grass simultaneously. Probably would have been pretty good on video.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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