Its like I don't even know you.ReverendThom wrote: ↑Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:24 pmI dislike alter calls.
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Confessions
- Fainn
- Master's of fArts
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- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Re: Confessions
It takes a smart eye feller to say, "I feller smart".
- Fainn
- Master's of fArts
- Posts: 4001
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Re: Confessions
I have a terrible fear I'm going to wuss out on getting the tattoo.
It takes a smart eye feller to say, "I feller smart".
- mont974x4
- Tim
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- Location: Montana
Re: Confessions
With my wife out of town I have been binge watching The Office. I don’t find it that funny. But I can’t stop watching.
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It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.
Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.
Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.
- JimVH
- Ramone Rebuke VH
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Re: Confessions
Every now and then I'll call my staff into my office and we'll watch an episode or two on Netflix. We call it in-service training.
- mont974x4
- Tim
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- Location: Montana
Re: Confessions
LOL. NiceJimVH wrote:Every now and then I'll call my staff into my office and we'll watch an episode or two on Netflix. We call it in-service training.
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It sounded better when the voices in my head were saying it.
Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.
Ire attracter-at-large and general misanthrope.
- sweetandsour
- Minister of Pipe Breaking
- Posts: 9973
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Re: Confessions
I asked my wife, "what is groping?".
Fishing, she says, without a line or pole, like wading along a bank for catfish.
Apparently it's also something done by pastors of mega churches, to their women, I replied.
Fishing, she says, without a line or pole, like wading along a bank for catfish.
Apparently it's also something done by pastors of mega churches, to their women, I replied.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)
- Thoth
- Never had a corndog taco shake
- Posts: 12333
- Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:00 pm
- Location: Formerly Jersey City, World's Greatest City.
Re: Confessions
During the whole Bill Clinton imbroglio, made the mistaken of correcting my mothers misconception of what oral sex was (she thought it was talking dirty, then when I said it wasn't that she thought it was kissing)
"Go and reconcile with him who has trespassed against you before he comes and apologises to you and steals your crown" - H.H. Pope Cyril VI<br><br>"O Lord I was not aware of the treasure within me that is You" - H.H. Pope Shenouda III
- Tatanka
- Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
- Posts: 1751
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: Bakersfield, California
Re: Confessions
Oh for more innocence today!

Soli Deo Gloria!
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
- Sir Moose
- President Jar-Jar Binks fan club: "Meesa tink he da best!" - Perpetually in Trouble
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Re: Confessions
I got distracted and lit the wrong end of my cigar. Thankfully, it held together for me.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
- Thoth
- Never had a corndog taco shake
- Posts: 12333
- Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:00 pm
- Location: Formerly Jersey City, World's Greatest City.
Re: Confessions
Better than putting the lit end accidentally into your mouth... (not that I did that but once while serving in the altar forgot I was holding a candle and went to scratch my nose and set my hair on fire)
"Go and reconcile with him who has trespassed against you before he comes and apologises to you and steals your crown" - H.H. Pope Cyril VI<br><br>"O Lord I was not aware of the treasure within me that is You" - H.H. Pope Shenouda III
- Tatanka
- Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
- Posts: 1751
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: Bakersfield, California
Re: Confessions
Then why didn't you go into intertainment a as a stand-up "lighted" comedian?

Soli Deo Gloria!
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
- durangopipe
- Under-secretary to the Minister of Pipe Breaking
- Posts: 6465
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
- Location: Southwest Colorado
Re: Confessions
Okay, about the beard . . . time for the confession:
I had no intention of shaving it off.
My wife and I were getting ready for bed and engaged in conversation. I got out my beard trimmer to trim my beard while we were talking. Distracted by our conversation, I made a pass through my chin - before putting on the plastic guide. Shaved half my beard down to stubble.
It looked horrible.
I decided to take off the rest of the beard, leave the mustache, and let the beard grow back - so shave off the rest of the beard I did. Now, I looked like and elderly Sonny Bono.
No more Gabby Hayes. Suddenly, Yosemite Sam.
The mustache had to go, too.
I had no intention of shaving it off.
My wife and I were getting ready for bed and engaged in conversation. I got out my beard trimmer to trim my beard while we were talking. Distracted by our conversation, I made a pass through my chin - before putting on the plastic guide. Shaved half my beard down to stubble.
It looked horrible.
I decided to take off the rest of the beard, leave the mustache, and let the beard grow back - so shave off the rest of the beard I did. Now, I looked like and elderly Sonny Bono.
No more Gabby Hayes. Suddenly, Yosemite Sam.
The mustache had to go, too.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- CodeMonkey
- Brother of the Briar
- Posts: 5029
- Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:00 pm
- Location: Dark side of the moon
Re: Confessions
Please forgive me for laughing at your misfortune.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play” – Newspaper reporter.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer Simpson
- rgcurrey
- Pastor
- Posts: 991
- Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2018 2:49 pm
- Location: NW Fla., dreaming about Montana to the Yukon
Re: Confessions
But you could have been the root'nest toot'nest fly fisher this side of the Pecos.durangopipe wrote: ↑Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:29 pmOkay, about the beard . . . time for the confession:
I had no intention of shaving it off.
My wife and I were getting ready for bed and engaged in conversation. I got out my beard trimmer to trim my beard while we were talking. Distracted by our conversation, I made a pass through my chin - before putting on the plastic guide. Shaved half my beard down to stubble.
It looked horrible.
I decided to take off the rest of the beard, leave the mustache, and let the beard grow back - so shave off the rest of the beard I did. Now, I looked like and elderly Sonny Bono.
No more Gabby Hayes. Suddenly, Yosemite Sam.
The mustache had to go, too.
Well I got a job and tried to put my money away
But I got debts that no honest man can pay - B. Springsteen
I've heard microwaved tobacco gets better if you wrap it in foil before you heat it up. - ryland
But I got debts that no honest man can pay - B. Springsteen
I've heard microwaved tobacco gets better if you wrap it in foil before you heat it up. - ryland
- durangopipe
- Under-secretary to the Minister of Pipe Breaking
- Posts: 6465
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:58 pm
- Location: Southwest Colorado
Re: Confessions
Well dang it, now ya tell me.rgcurrey wrote: ↑Thu Aug 09, 2018 6:51 amBut you could have been the root'nest toot'nest fly fisher this side of the Pecos.durangopipe wrote: ↑Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:29 pmOkay, about the beard . . . time for the confession:
I had no intention of shaving it off.
My wife and I were getting ready for bed and engaged in conversation. I got out my beard trimmer to trim my beard while we were talking. Distracted by our conversation, I made a pass through my chin - before putting on the plastic guide. Shaved half my beard down to stubble.
It looked horrible.
I decided to take off the rest of the beard, leave the mustache, and let the beard grow back - so shave off the rest of the beard I did. Now, I looked like and elderly Sonny Bono.
No more Gabby Hayes. Suddenly, Yosemite Sam.
The mustache had to go, too.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- Thoth
- Never had a corndog taco shake
- Posts: 12333
- Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:00 pm
- Location: Formerly Jersey City, World's Greatest City.
Re: Confessions
Its okay thats my wife's main source of amusement. It was pretty funny if you saw the second priest that happened to be celebrating in the liturgy see me and gesture wildly at me trying to get my attention that it was happening.CodeMonkey wrote: ↑Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:21 pmPlease forgive me for laughing at your misfortune.
"Go and reconcile with him who has trespassed against you before he comes and apologises to you and steals your crown" - H.H. Pope Cyril VI<br><br>"O Lord I was not aware of the treasure within me that is You" - H.H. Pope Shenouda III
- JimVH
- Ramone Rebuke VH
- Posts: 22551
- Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.
- Contact:
Re: Confessions
I listen to Nickleback.
There, I said it.
There, I said it.
- Tatanka
- Recently Discovered CPS is a Nut House
- Posts: 1751
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:00 pm
- Location: Bakersfield, California
Re: Confessions
I awoke at two o'clock in the morning, wrote a letter, drank 3 cups of coffee, and watched the l o n g funeral service of Sen. John McCain. It is now 10:30 a. and I am hungry!
Soli Deo Gloria!
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
"If the doors (windows) of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite." ~ William Blake
- Fainn
- Master's of fArts
- Posts: 4001
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:48 pm
Re: Confessions
Bough this [urlhttps://www.skywatchtvstore.com/collections/fea ... collection][/url] and thought of Jocose.
It takes a smart eye feller to say, "I feller smart".
- Jocose
- a large Chinese man named Wu
- Posts: 21352
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Re: Confessions
Ha, thanks for thinking of me but why the crap would you buy that book for?Fainn wrote: ↑Mon Sep 03, 2018 6:18 pmBough this [urlhttps://www.skywatchtvstore.com/collections/fea ... collection][/url] and thought of Jocose.

I'm just as confused at Jim Van Halens latest confession in this thread..
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

