So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
- DepartedLight
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So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
We were conducting routine CPS estate pipe business, as we have in the past. Without incident.
In the packaging, as is Jim's want, he included a little add on. Sometimes it's a sample of tobacco, maybe a tamper, you get the idea.
This time it was a monkey. A monkey with a woot American flag themed cape and red cap. Said monkey had, yes had; not has, velcro on his front hands to wrap him around whatever you want.
I have to admit i was smitten by it's simplistic charm as i removed it from the box and straightened his cap and flattened his cape. I recall grinning. I Velcroed him to the handle on the stove. No good. Fridge door. Yeah. No.
One night, as I tried to figure out where the monkey could live in my house I got sick of it and tossed the monkey to the side. The dogs were not interested in destroying it. Safe.
Two days later I'm stumbling around trying to make coffee with one eye half opened and I step on that damn monkey. Annoyed, I kick slide it into the wall out of the way.
That was the first time I heard it scream.
I peed myself a little. And not in a good way.
In my obvious sudden alarm both dogs attacked the screaming monkey and rendered it a non-threat.
Good dogs.
JimVH is an evil bastard who has good taste in pipes.
In the packaging, as is Jim's want, he included a little add on. Sometimes it's a sample of tobacco, maybe a tamper, you get the idea.
This time it was a monkey. A monkey with a woot American flag themed cape and red cap. Said monkey had, yes had; not has, velcro on his front hands to wrap him around whatever you want.
I have to admit i was smitten by it's simplistic charm as i removed it from the box and straightened his cap and flattened his cape. I recall grinning. I Velcroed him to the handle on the stove. No good. Fridge door. Yeah. No.
One night, as I tried to figure out where the monkey could live in my house I got sick of it and tossed the monkey to the side. The dogs were not interested in destroying it. Safe.
Two days later I'm stumbling around trying to make coffee with one eye half opened and I step on that damn monkey. Annoyed, I kick slide it into the wall out of the way.
That was the first time I heard it scream.
I peed myself a little. And not in a good way.
In my obvious sudden alarm both dogs attacked the screaming monkey and rendered it a non-threat.
Good dogs.
JimVH is an evil bastard who has good taste in pipes.
- hugodrax
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
You truly must donate your liver to science, rummie.
I am also of the opinion that the Jesuits should be suppressed.
- JimVH
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Mission. Accomplished.
- Gabriel
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Mrs and I are laughing with tears over here.
Those monkeys are crazy loud and obnoxious...
Those monkeys are crazy loud and obnoxious...
Sola Deo Gloria
- hugodrax
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Those are two horrendous sentences. At least add the fourth period.
I am also of the opinion that the Jesuits should be suppressed.
- durangopipe
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Terminal ellipsis sounds like an incurable disease.
I understand it crossed over to humans from foul-mouthed monkeys during a CIA experiment gone awry.
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The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien
2017 Morley - Outstanding BRATASS of the Year
- gaining_age
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
So, you eventually "gave the monkey a hotdog".
Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
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2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
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The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. --Colton
- DepartedLight
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
two
- Del
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Never could kick the ellipsis monkey....durangopipe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 07, 2017 12:11 amTerminal ellipsis sounds like an incurable disease.
I understand it crossed over to humans from foul-mouthed monkeys during a CIA experiment gone awry.
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
I found this thread to be humorous; ergo, I approve of it.
Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Isaiah 55:6,7 ESV
- JohnnyMcPiperson
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
I find it disturbing that DL was playing with Jim's monkey, all kinds of weird going on around here....
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
JohnnyMcPiperson wrote: ↑Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:35 pmI find it disturbing that DL was playing with Jim's monkey, all kinds of weird going on around here....
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Re: So, recently JimVH shipped me this monkey
Terminal ellipsis? I think you have to play with Jim's monkey to catch it.Fainn wrote: ↑Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:52 pmJohnnyMcPiperson wrote: ↑Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:35 pmI find it disturbing that DL was playing with Jim's monkey, all kinds of weird going on around here....
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkI'm surprised I didn't catch that earlier.
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