2019 Calandar

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:14 am

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:51 am

Did you hear about the guy who invented Life Savers?

They say he made a mint.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:52 am

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.

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MrPiper
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by MrPiper » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:14 am

A little late for the season but...

Did you know that Elves use a different alphabet? It has no L's in it.

Santa's helpers aren't actually elves at all. The politically correct name for them is Subordinate Clauses.

Are you aware their is a 9th reindeer named Olive? According to the song about Rudolph, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."

I was going to give up all of my bad habits for new years, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

I hate to watch the ball drop. It reminds me of my entire life.

My real resolution is to help all of my friends gain at least 10lbs. so I look thinner.

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MrPiper
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by MrPiper » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:14 am

Best thread in years by the way! Well done sir. I hope the mods can pin this to the top of the youth room permanently so it stays easy to find.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:22 am

Dad, will you make me a sandwich?

Poof! You're a sandwich!

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:22 am

What did the grape do when it was stepped on?

It let out a little wine.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:24 am

How do you stop a dog from barking in the back of a car?

Put him in the front.

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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by JimVH » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:19 pm

Winton wrote:
Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:22 am
What did the grape do when it was stepped on?

It let out a little wine.
I just borrowed this one.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:37 pm

I knew I shouldn't have had the seafood. I'm feeling a little eel.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:37 pm

What do you yell at a cheese thief?

That's na'cho cheese!

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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by hugodrax » Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:57 pm

Winton wrote:
Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:37 pm
What do you yell at a cheese thief?

That's na'cho cheese!
Superb.
I am also of the opinion that the Jesuits should be suppressed.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:31 am

Why can't you have a nose that is twelve inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:31 am

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'd fit me.

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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:46 am

How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:47 am

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?

Because roads weren't invented yet.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:50 am

What does a baby computer call its father?

Data.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Fri Jan 25, 2019 6:07 am

From a Facebook post: I only believe about 12.5% of the Bible. I am an 1/8theist.

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Winton
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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by Winton » Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:46 pm

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

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Re: 2019 Calandar

Post by durangopipe » Sun Jan 27, 2019 6:14 pm

I think it's pretty cool how 
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

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