Who Smokes A Pipe?

[hugodrax]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

[rgcurrey]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Well I'm two of the three. Which two is entirely up to the one deciding.

[Stanley76]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

[UncleBob]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

Lord knows I spent much time in the shop and know my ration of goofballs, weirdos, and eccentrics.

[hugodrax]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

Lord knows I spent much time in the shop and know my ration of goofballs, weirdos, and eccentrics.

.

I also find that I do not like men who conspicuously favor massive pipes. They tend to be fat, awkward, poorly dressed people with limited vocabularies and irritating opinions. Honestly, when I ran a tobacco shop, I made it a point to observe the characteristics of various pipe smoking customers. Those big pipe guys were little better than philistines, I tell you. Just the worst. Piggish, grunting sub-humans who would come in making wheezing noises and saying things like,

"Howdy, young feller. Do ya' work here? Ya do? Young guy like you? You ain't old enough to smoke. So, do ya have that Rob's Blend? What do ya mean you ain't heard of Rob's Blend? I gets it all a' the time over at Rob's Baccy and Bait Shop over in Bumblescum County. 'Likely a re-branded domestic bulk tobacco?' What th' heck's that 'spose to mean? Those is some five dollar words, them is."

Then, when I would give him some goddamn 1Q or RLP-6, old Billy Bob Beachball Gut with a Budweiser hat would pull out the biggest, ugliest pipe I had ever seen and use his non-opposable thumb to pack his bowl and, after firing that big bastard up with a pipe zippo, he would usually say something like,

"Well, if that don't beat all. I thought you said you didn't have Rob's Blend, but this is Rob's Blend sure as my cousin's my common law wife. Give me five bucks worth."

Dammit. Why did you have to make me remember that? This is why I hate you all.

This post is so stinking true.

[DAN]

All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

I really don't see how you arrived at this conclusion.

[JimVH]

All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

I really don't see how you arrived at this conclusion.

I personally resent any comparison to normal.

[UncleBob]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

Lord knows I spent much time in the shop and know my ration of goofballs, weirdos, and eccentrics.

.

I also find that I do not like men who conspicuously favor massive pipes. They tend to be fat, awkward, poorly dressed people with limited vocabularies and irritating opinions. Honestly, when I ran a tobacco shop, I made it a point to observe the characteristics of various pipe smoking customers. Those big pipe guys were little better than philistines, I tell you. Just the worst. Piggish, grunting sub-humans who would come in making wheezing noises and saying things like,

"Howdy, young feller. Do ya' work here? Ya do? Young guy like you? You ain't old enough to smoke. So, do ya have that Rob's Blend? What do ya mean you ain't heard of Rob's Blend? I gets it all a' the time over at Rob's Baccy and Bait Shop over in Bumblescum County. 'Likely a re-branded domestic bulk tobacco?' What th' heck's that 'spose to mean? Those is some five dollar words, them is."

Then, when I would give him some goddamn 1Q or RLP-6, old Billy Bob Beachball Gut with a Budweiser hat would pull out the biggest, ugliest pipe I had ever seen and use his non-opposable thumb to pack his bowl and, after firing that big bastard up with a pipe zippo, he would usually say something like,

"Well, if that don't beat all. I thought you said you didn't have Rob's Blend, but this is Rob's Blend sure as my cousin's my common law wife. Give me five bucks worth."

Dammit. Why did you have to make me remember that? This is why I hate you all.

This post is so stinking true.

Yep.

Do you get conspiracy theorists? My first week on the job, I sold a pipe and a pound of 1Q to a fellow who then spent over 30 minutes explaining (in some detail) how the Democrats were conspiring with the RCC and the Soviets ( it was1993) to bring about a one-world communist government. I had never heard anything like it! After he left, Bert walked up to me and asked, "You believe that guy?" I said, "No, but I believe that he believes it!"

My education had commenced.

[Stanley76]

All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

I really don't see how you arrived at this conclusion.

I personally resent any comparison to normal.

Proof that you are normal.

[Stanley76]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

Lord knows I spent much time in the shop and know my ration of goofballs, weirdos, and eccentrics.

.

I also find that I do not like men who conspicuously favor massive pipes. They tend to be fat, awkward, poorly dressed people with limited vocabularies and irritating opinions. Honestly, when I ran a tobacco shop, I made it a point to observe the characteristics of various pipe smoking customers. Those big pipe guys were little better than philistines, I tell you. Just the worst. Piggish, grunting sub-humans who would come in making wheezing noises and saying things like,

"Howdy, young feller. Do ya' work here? Ya do? Young guy like you? You ain't old enough to smoke. So, do ya have that Rob's Blend? What do ya mean you ain't heard of Rob's Blend? I gets it all a' the time over at Rob's Baccy and Bait Shop over in Bumblescum County. 'Likely a re-branded domestic bulk tobacco?' What th' heck's that 'spose to mean? Those is some five dollar words, them is."

Then, when I would give him some goddamn 1Q or RLP-6, old Billy Bob Beachball Gut with a Budweiser hat would pull out the biggest, ugliest pipe I had ever seen and use his non-opposable thumb to pack his bowl and, after firing that big bastard up with a pipe zippo, he would usually say something like,

"Well, if that don't beat all. I thought you said you didn't have Rob's Blend, but this is Rob's Blend sure as my cousin's my common law wife. Give me five bucks worth."

Dammit. Why did you have to make me remember that? This is why I hate you all.

This post is so stinking true.

Yep.

Do you get conspiracy theorists? My first week on the job, I sold a pipe and a pound of 1Q to a fellow who then spent over 30 minutes explaining (in some detail) how the Democrats were conspiring with the RCC and the Soviets ( it was1993) to bring about a one-world communist government. I had never heard anything like it! After he left, Bert walked up to me and asked, "You believe that guy?" I said, "No, but I believe that he believes it!"

My education had commenced.

Well was he right or not?

[arank87]

That’s what it’s like being a beer salesman who is very passionate about the product and the history. Oh, you’re 50 and you’ve drank a lot of beer therefore you know a lot about it? I’m too young to know anything about beer? Got it. Have another Mich Golden and teach me your ways.

[DAN]

I like to be cautious with what I say about these things. I don't generally care for aromatics, Bud Light, and blended Scotch myself, but the reality is that these products satisfy millions of people every day and keep whole industries afloat. Where would the pipe tobacco industry be without 1Q and Captain Black? What would gross sales be like without it? And some of those people will eventually go on to enjoy ODF and the like and help us keep our favorites in production.

[hugodrax]

If my time in the shop has taught me anything, weirdos, eccentrics, and goofballs.

My kind o' folks.

Which explains why you hang out here.

Bud, I know I'm a goofball. I'm glad you all put up with me.

I was talking about Uncle Bob. All the rest of us are perfectly normal.

Lord knows I spent much time in the shop and know my ration of goofballs, weirdos, and eccentrics.

.

I also find that I do not like men who conspicuously favor massive pipes. They tend to be fat, awkward, poorly dressed people with limited vocabularies and irritating opinions. Honestly, when I ran a tobacco shop, I made it a point to observe the characteristics of various pipe smoking customers. Those big pipe guys were little better than philistines, I tell you. Just the worst. Piggish, grunting sub-humans who would come in making wheezing noises and saying things like,

"Howdy, young feller. Do ya' work here? Ya do? Young guy like you? You ain't old enough to smoke. So, do ya have that Rob's Blend? What do ya mean you ain't heard of Rob's Blend? I gets it all a' the time over at Rob's Baccy and Bait Shop over in Bumblescum County. 'Likely a re-branded domestic bulk tobacco?' What th' heck's that 'spose to mean? Those is some five dollar words, them is."

Then, when I would give him some goddamn 1Q or RLP-6, old Billy Bob Beachball Gut with a Budweiser hat would pull out the biggest, ugliest pipe I had ever seen and use his non-opposable thumb to pack his bowl and, after firing that big bastard up with a pipe zippo, he would usually say something like,

"Well, if that don't beat all. I thought you said you didn't have Rob's Blend, but this is Rob's Blend sure as my cousin's my common law wife. Give me five bucks worth."

Dammit. Why did you have to make me remember that? This is why I hate you all.

This post is so stinking true.

Yep.

Do you get conspiracy theorists? My first week on the job, I sold a pipe and a pound of 1Q to a fellow who then spent over 30 minutes explaining (in some detail) how the Democrats were conspiring with the RCC and the Soviets ( it was1993) to bring about a one-world communist government. I had never heard anything like it! After he left, Bert walked up to me and asked, "You believe that guy?" I said, "No, but I believe that he believes it!"

My education had commenced.

Oh, my, yes. I’ve developed a deep distrust of those that exclusively smoke Stokkebye’s Black Coffee as a result. They seem to gravitate towards it. The other day we had a fellow that epitomizes the breed. Black sweatshirt, black jeans, black boots, shaved head. Large black dog of the lurcher variety, deeply conflicted: you’ve met dogs that have had a bipolar owner, I’m sure...wanted to sniff you and get loved up at the same time as he wanted to bite your pecker off.

Anyway, he’s milling about the tobacco and both of us that worked there were eyeing the dog very carefully. The conversation in the shop shifted to Walter Cronkite and the fellow turns around in slow motion and says “Don’t be snowballed by Walter Fuggin’ Cronkite...sumbeach was Johnson’s right hand man in the Kennedy assasination. Give me six ounces of Black Coffee.”

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

[Gabriel]

Oh, I thought this was going to be what sort of man smokes a pipe. Good job avoiding that one, sir!

I put daily because its daily. Somedays more, somedays even more, but daily.

Agreed, and agreed.

[FredS]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

[hugodrax]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

No.

Hint: You could smell the fear and desperation coming from the interior at 15 yards

[FredS]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

No.

Hint: You could smell the fear and desperation coming from the interior at 15 yards

A white Prius?

[hugodrax]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

No.

Hint: You could smell the fear and desperation coming from the interior at 15 yards

A white Prius?

White is correct. Now think inside the box.

[FredS]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

No.

Hint: You could smell the fear and desperation coming from the interior at 15 yards

A white Prius?

White is correct. Now think inside the box.

Element?

(This is getting to be like that "guess the pipe maker" game we used to play.)

[hugodrax]

I’ll bet you a not inconsiderable modicum of BLWB you can tell me what color and style of vehicle he was driving?

He was driving a black pickup truck. Probably a Chevy but maybe a Dodge if he realizes Daimler Chrysler is a German company.

No.

Hint: You could smell the fear and desperation coming from the interior at 15 yards

A white Prius?

White is correct. Now think inside the box.

Element?

(This is getting to be like that "guess the pipe maker" game we used to play.)

I want to give bob one guess before I tell you all just to see if theres a universality at play or not. Sorry to hijack the thread