Tell All Book

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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Stanley76
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Tell All Book

Post by Stanley76 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:05 am

I'm thinking about writing a tell all book. It's going to be a comic book and it will be about you guys. I don't really know any of you in person so I'm just going to make stuff up like the rest of the people who write tell all books do.

I was going to put JMG in it as sort of an ex-Navy SEAL/Indiana Jones/missionary but since that is what he really is, so I'll probably just reveal that he is actually Franklin Graham. Hugodrax will be revealed to be Clarence Thomas. Goose will be shown to actually be Rush Limbaugh. It will be shown that Uncle Bob is actually Donald Trump. Cleon will be exposed as Prince Harry. JimVH....Clint Eastwood.

Fainn will be Elvis Presley. Departedlight will be a Ted Nugent. It will be revealed that Jocose is actually the Pope. AFRS will be unmasked as the Shamwow guy.

I'm still thinking up lies to tell about the rest of you. Any ideas are welcomed.
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

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tuttle
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by tuttle » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:40 am

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"The Evangelium has not abrogated legends; it has hallowed them" -JRR Tolkien

"Better to die cheerfully with the aid of a little tobacco, than to live disagreeably and remorseful without." -CS Lewis

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JimVH
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by JimVH » Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:54 am

Stanley76 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:05 am
JimVH....Clint Eastwood.
If Clint Eastwood and Wilford Brimley had a love child...



Stan (Abe Vigoda) is like a deep-country version of Commissioner Frank Reagan from Blue Bloods. What the rest of CPS doesn't realize is that Stan is a power-wielding police chief that ambles around town on his size 27 feet entertaining the town folk with anecdotes and factoids about all things pipe smoking. Children stand wide-eyed on the sidewalk as Stan crafts small animals out of pipe cleaners to help cement his message to them that drugs are bad and taxation is theft. Folks all-over know that Stan can usually be found 'gettin' things done' from the corner booth at the local diner, where many wonder, but none have the courage to question his ways. Secretly, though, talked about only in the dark of night, a few dare to speculate about Stan's past. Rumors swell about those who have questioned his methods only to be met by a "coon hunting accident".
"The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

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Del
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by Del » Mon Jan 13, 2020 11:04 am

Call me Mel....


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REMEMBER THE FISA ABUSE!
REMEMBER KAVANAUGH!
REMEMBER THE IMPEACHMENT!

But you can safely ignore all those California warning labels. Just sayin'...

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Stanley76
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by Stanley76 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 12:37 pm

JimVH wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:54 am
Stanley76 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:05 am
JimVH....Clint Eastwood.
If Clint Eastwood and Wilford Brimley had a love child...



Stan (Abe Vigoda) is like a deep-country version of Commissioner Frank Reagan from Blue Bloods. What the rest of CPS doesn't realize is that Stan is a power-wielding police chief that ambles around town on his size 27 feet entertaining the town folk with anecdotes and factoids about all things pipe smoking. Children stand wide-eyed on the sidewalk as Stan crafts small animals out of pipe cleaners to help cement his message to them that drugs are bad and taxation is theft. Folks all-over know that Stan can usually be found 'gettin' things done' from the corner booth at the local diner, where many wonder, but none have the courage to question his ways. Secretly, though, talked about only in the dark of night, a few dare to speculate about Stan's past. Rumors swell about those who have questioned his methods only to be met by a "coon hunting accident".
Close but no cigar.

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Image
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

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GaryInVA
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by GaryInVA » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:55 pm

Put me down for a copy, two if you can get them signed by several of the subjects of the book.
hugodrax wrote:
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This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Y'all crazy

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Fainn
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by Fainn » Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:06 pm

I could dig Elvis.
I only fart around people I like. Loved ones are warned.

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tuttle
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by tuttle » Tue Jan 14, 2020 8:34 am

Fainn wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:06 pm
I could dig Elvis.
Zombie Elvis :egor:
"The Evangelium has not abrogated legends; it has hallowed them" -JRR Tolkien

"Better to die cheerfully with the aid of a little tobacco, than to live disagreeably and remorseful without." -CS Lewis

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DepartedLight
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by DepartedLight » Tue Jan 14, 2020 8:43 am





Y E S !
DL Jake

I cook cornbread in my underwear. - JimVH

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Jocose
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Re: Tell All Book

Post by Jocose » Wed Jan 15, 2020 3:41 am

TNLP a Right Wing Conservative.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"Other vessels will work, but the idealality of the Spam can cannot be contested." ~ JimVH

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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