Judging a Man By His Sneeze

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Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by SlowToke » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:30 pm

I just recently became self-aware that I judge other men by how they sneeze. I seem to have a preconceived notion of what a manly sneeze should sound like as well as many other sneeze qualities by which I can make assumptions about a man's character and personality. I have to admit, there have been times when I was completely off-put and even appalled at how another man's sneeze sounded. How about you?
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by JimVH » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:40 pm

If you sneeze like a girl, I'll flat out judge you.

My sneeze is so manly it has a five o'clock shadow. It's the sneeze of legends. Loud, forceful, and repetitive, it once provoked someone to call 911 for me (true story). I've thrown my neck out sneezing. People call me from the other side of the office building to say "bless you" (also true). As a kid, more than once, I was sent to the principal because 'that couldn't be real'.

No Nancy sneezing for me.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Del » Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:18 pm

JimVH wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:40 pm
If you sneeze like a girl, I'll flat out judge you.

My sneeze is so manly it has a five o'clock shadow. It's the sneeze of legends. Loud, forceful, and repetitive, it once provoked someone to call 911 for me (true story). I've thrown my neck out sneezing. People call me from the other side of the office building to say "bless you" (also true). As a kid, more than once, I was sent to the principal because 'that couldn't be real'.

No Nancy sneezing for me.
I'm not as epic as you. (Which reminds me.... I still want your chili recipe)

But I agree that a manly sneeze is part of the whole man.

Ever try to stifle a sneeze in church? I fear for my eardrums.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by SlowToke » Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:22 pm

Del wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:18 pm
JimVH wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:40 pm
If you sneeze like a girl, I'll flat out judge you.

My sneeze is so manly it has a five o'clock shadow. It's the sneeze of legends. Loud, forceful, and repetitive, it once provoked someone to call 911 for me (true story). I've thrown my neck out sneezing. People call me from the other side of the office building to say "bless you" (also true). As a kid, more than once, I was sent to the principal because 'that couldn't be real'.

No Nancy sneezing for me.
I'm not as epic as you. (Which reminds me.... I still want your chili recipe)

But I agree that a manly sneeze is part of the whole man.

Ever try to stifle a sneeze in church? I fear for my eardrums.
Bad things happen when you try to stifle a sneeze. Worst of all fluids and matter are at risk of coming out of various orifices. It's best just to sneeze like the man that you are.
Wayne Teipen
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Cleon » Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:57 pm

I make babies and children cry when I sneeze.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Benton629 » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:00 pm

I sneeze with gusto and aplomb.

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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by JimVH » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:59 pm

Benton629 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:00 pm
I sneeze with gusto and aplomb.
The world needs more aplomb.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by arank87 » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:59 pm

Benton629 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:00 pm
I sneeze with gusto and aplomb.
This, many times over.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by mcommini » Thu Mar 26, 2020 9:48 pm

Cleon wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:57 pm
I make babies and children cry when I sneeze.
For a second there I paused before the conjunction and thought "a manly sneeze indeed."

My sneezes range from quick, rapid in succession allergenic sneezes of relatively low volume to sneezes that rattle glass and can be measured on the Richter scale.

The only times I've judged a man by his sneeze have been when it was entirely paltry and of the type only given by women and Chilly Willy in his theme song.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by DepartedLight » Thu Mar 26, 2020 9:54 pm

I am a sneezing fool. I can hit six or seven in a row.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Sir Moose » Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:01 pm

Cleon wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:57 pm
I make babies and children cry when I sneeze.
That's nothing. I make babies and children when I sneeze.

I definitely judge a man by his sneeze. I had a co-worker who always sounded like he needed a handful of paper towels to clean up his desk area after he sneezed. It had plenty of power, but it also sounded very wet and like there was a great deal of spray. It was hard to take. Better that than one of those 'did-you-really-sneeze-or-did-you-just-chirp' sneezes though.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by TNLawPiper » Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:21 pm

Sir Moose wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:01 pm
Cleon wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:57 pm
I make babies and children cry when I sneeze.
That's nothing. I make babies and children when I sneeze.

I definitely judge a man by his sneeze. I had a co-worker who always sounded like he needed a handful of paper towels to clean up his desk area after he sneezed. It had plenty of power, but it also sounded very wet and like there was a great deal of spray. It was hard to take. Better that than one of those 'did-you-really-sneeze-or-did-you-just-chirp' sneezes though.
I have a similar sneeze and a thick mustache, so I’ve had to learn to blow them out of my mouth. Sure, that means the sneeze is ineffective, but that’s my choice.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by tuttle » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:55 am

I thought this thread was going to be about coronavirus-shaming.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by JimVH » Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:00 am

tuttle wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:55 am
I thought this thread was going to be about coronavirus-shaming.
I sneezed a few minutes ago and one of our medics closed my office door and Lysol'd my door knob.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Jocose » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:05 pm

I used to hate it when I'd hear those almost silent little whimper sneezes but I don't think that it would be nearly as irritating in this day and age.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Fainn » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:20 pm

I hate sneezing in public and avoid it all costs because I hate catching snot in my hand. I try to go outside away from people and let 'er rip.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by hugodrax » Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:00 pm

We judge bulls by scrotal circumference. Just sayin'.
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Re: Judging a Man By His Sneeze

Post by Del » Fri Mar 27, 2020 10:20 pm

hugodrax wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:00 pm
We judge bulls by scrotal circumference. Just sayin'.
I'll take "Things that Expand When You Sneeze" for 400, Alex.
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