Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

The part of the church where the silliest things happen. Conversations that sound like they belong in the youth room will be moved here.
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ReverendThom
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by ReverendThom » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:43 pm


joegoat wrote:
Fainn wrote:
joegoat wrote:I put my wife behind the wheel of the bug last night. She has never driven something with three pedals before.
After some stops, starts and shifting between 1st and 2nd in the soccer field parking lots I figured she was ready for the open road.
We were nearly killed when she pulled out onto 73 and shifted from 1st to 4th and then went into a panic trying to find 2nd. Once we turned onto the roads around the lake she did much better.

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My sister had a red bug. It blew up and the fire department was there before anyone called because they heard the explosion. This was in 1995. All the lights were melted.

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I was on the volunteer fire department when I was 17 and we got a call to a Dodge Omni on fire in a driveway. We took a long pry bar and popped the hood open. my lieutenant gave me a huge fire extinguisher and was instructing me on how to properly get the flames underneath. I had my head pretty much inside the hood when all of a sudden ... KABOOOOM...

The front tire beside me popped from the heat.

My poor underwear. It gave all the guys a pretty good laugh though.

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"Pipe smokers used to be among the smartest people walking around. It's not true anymore." - Rusty

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by joegoat » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:58 pm

ReverendThom wrote:
joegoat wrote:
Fainn wrote:
joegoat wrote:I put my wife behind the wheel of the bug last night. She has never driven something with three pedals before.
After some stops, starts and shifting between 1st and 2nd in the soccer field parking lots I figured she was ready for the open road.
We were nearly killed when she pulled out onto 73 and shifted from 1st to 4th and then went into a panic trying to find 2nd. Once we turned onto the roads around the lake she did much better.

Sent from my moto e5 cruise using Tapatalk
My sister had a red bug. It blew up and the fire department was there before anyone called because they heard the explosion. This was in 1995. All the lights were melted.

Sent from my SM-J337A using Tapatalk
I was on the volunteer fire department when I was 17 and we got a call to a Dodge Omni on fire in a driveway. We took a long pry bar and popped the hood open. my lieutenant gave me a huge fire extinguisher and was instructing me on how to properly get the flames underneath. I had my head pretty much inside the hood when all of a sudden ... KABOOOOM...

The front tire beside me popped from the heat.

My poor underwear. It gave all the guys a pretty good laugh though.

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk
I've had a thermal plug on an airplane wheel blow when we were putting out a brake fire. Those suckers are loud!!!!

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"A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth." - C.S. Lewis

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Fainn
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:54 am

I put in a Batman the animated series dvd in yesterday.
Me: What's daddy watching?
Solomon: Batman!
Farts are either proof that God is a man or a sign of a fallen world.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:45 pm

I won $24 this morning in the weekly golf match. I shot an 89, but also got closest to the hole on one of the par 3s. It was a tough morning. Grass was tall, greens were fast, and the drinking water was warm.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by FredS » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:59 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:45 pm
I won $24 this morning in the weekly golf match. I shot an 89, but also got closest to the hole on one of the par 3s. It was a tough morning. Grass was tall, greens were fast, and the drinking water was warm.
Tough morning indeed. It must suck to be you.
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Thu Aug 15, 2019 4:48 pm

FredS wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:45 pm
I won $24 this morning in the weekly golf match. I shot an 89, but also got closest to the hole on one of the par 3s. It was a tough morning. Grass was tall, greens were fast, and the drinking water was warm.
Tough morning indeed. It must suck to be you.
LOL

On an even better note, I was digging through the top shelf of a cabinet this evening looking for some Zatarain's shrimp boil, and found a bottle of Makers Mark that I'd forgot I had.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by durangopipe » Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:55 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 4:48 pm
FredS wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:59 pm
sweetandsour wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:45 pm
I won $24 this morning in the weekly golf match. I shot an 89, but also got closest to the hole on one of the par 3s. It was a tough morning. Grass was tall, greens were fast, and the drinking water was warm.
Tough morning indeed. It must suck to be you.
LOL

On an even better note, I was digging through the top shelf of a cabinet this evening looking for some Zatarain's shrimp boil, and found a bottle of Makers Mark that I'd forgot I had.
Life is good!
. . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

The most improper job of any man, even saints, is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.. J.R.R. Tolkien

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Fainn » Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:34 pm

RevThom never comes to see me even though the US is next door to Canada. We're practically neighbors!
Farts are either proof that God is a man or a sign of a fallen world.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Jocose » Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:52 pm

Fainn wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:34 pm
RevThom never comes to see me even though the US is next door to Canada. We're practically neighbors!
No one comes to see me either, Fainn.

It's a sorrow that we must learn to live with.

Next time you're near the Moonbase, I will expect no visit.

As my father once said to me "Hey, jo, the next time you pass by my house, I'd sure appreciate it"

:lol:
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Gabriel » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm

Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
Sola Deo Gloria

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Jocose » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:28 pm

Gabriel wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm
Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
Say hello for us, safe travels.
"And for Freds sake, DO NOT point anyone towards CPS or you'll put them off of both Christianity and pipe smoking forever." ~ FredS

"Other vessels will work, but the idealality of the Spam can cannot be contested." ~ JimVH

"The yutz is silly Jocose. I have him foed yet still have to view his stupid and annoying thread titles." ~ Goose55

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Fri Aug 16, 2019 5:42 am

Jocose wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:28 pm
Gabriel wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm
Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
Say hello for us, safe travels.
I'm glad for you. I would love to see you all.
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by coco » Fri Aug 16, 2019 5:43 am

Jocose wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:52 pm
Fainn wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:34 pm
RevThom never comes to see me even though the US is next door to Canada. We're practically neighbors!
No one comes to see me either, Fainn.

It's a sorrow that we must learn to live with.

Next time you're near the Moonbase, I will expect no visit.

As my father once said to me "Hey, jo, the next time you pass by my house, I'd sure appreciate it"

:lol:
If any of you are near Montgomery, you better stop by.
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a cob with a forever lucite stem." (Pipverbs 1:1)
"No more signatures that quote other CPS members." - Thunk

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by dasmokeryaget » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:47 am

Gabriel wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm
Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
I've pondered, from time to time, just how far I'd drive to see ID.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by sweetandsour » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:52 am

Jocose wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:28 pm
Gabriel wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm
Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
Say hello for us, safe travels.
I'm old but I'm happy. (Most of the time.)

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by hugodrax » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:59 am

That's awesome.
Notre Dame de Paris, priez pour nous y comprise les Jesuites.

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:15 am

Yesterday the Doc took a chunk of wood that had broken off in the sole of my left foot.
This feels very good indeed!
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by JudgeRusty » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:06 pm

sweetandsour wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:52 am
Jocose wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:28 pm
Gabriel wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:12 pm
Hitting the road early tomorrow morning, should be hanging out with IrishDane and Mrs IrishDane by evening. :bacon:
Say hello for us, safe travels.
And I will be an hour and half away from y'all tomorrow in Bristol.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal

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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by GaryInVA » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:37 pm

Hovannes wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:15 am
Yesterday the Doc took a chunk of wood that had broken off in the sole of my left foot.
This feels very good indeed!
What are you, a pirate?
hugodrax wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:19 pm
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like when doves cry.
Y'all crazy

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Hovannes
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Re: Absolutely Useless Facts About Yourself, No One Cares About

Post by Hovannes » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:55 pm

GaryInVA wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:37 pm
Hovannes wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:15 am
Yesterday the Doc took a chunk of wood that had broken off in the sole of my left foot.
This feels very good indeed!
What are you, a pirate?
No.
Clumsy.
"What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor."

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